Ask Me Help Desk - Jerry Springer Story

OK so my relationship with my ex is really weird. I met him on new years 4 years ago. He was cocky at first but was still a gentleman. He is originally from Vancouver, Canada (3 hours away from Seattle). He recently got traded to Michigan from NY to play hockey. At the beginning he sounded like the perfect boyfriend :D... he surprised me with flowers at work and school, he drove 2 hours to see me, he left notes by my bed with flowers, he sang me songs on my voicemail... etc. He was seriously like the perfect boyfriend. We got pregnant and then I had a miscarriage and he was so supportive the whole time. So it was time for me to go to college and we both agreed we wouldn't be together if we didn't go together. So he came to my college with me and lived in the dorms. But the only way he could go to college is if his "friend" paid for his college. :rolleyes: SHE!! She paid for everything... his phone, shopping sprees, vacations, school everything but she hated me with a passion because she wanted to be with him. She is 47 years old with a husband and two young kids. Her husband works all day and doesn't know anything. So me and her like hate each other with a passion. :mad: She would always tell me that he cheats on me and everything else but he told me that she is just jealous. He was always the flirty type but not when we started to date. Like when we went to the mall he wouldn't even look at girls. I would tell him to look at a girl to show him their outfit or something and that was it. That only lasted until are 3 years. On our 3 yr anniversary I found a video on his phone of him having a 3 some! So anyway I was sick of dealing with this so we broke up for a couple months. Then he came back to MI play hockey for a little bit but then left for Europe to play pro instead. After a month of playing there (also around my 21 b-day) he came back and said he missed me and couldn't be without me! So we started to date again. So anyway I have been dealing with this for the last four years thinking him and the 47 year old are just friends... well 3 days ago his friend told me that he slept with her!! I was so heartbroken that I didn't even ask if it was before or after we were going out. Like it would have mattered, he played me like a fool, he lie and cheated! I should've believed her from the beginning because ! PLEASE HELP HOW CAN I GET OVER THIS?? I'm still in love with him but I don't want to be!

These things just take time. But you will. Sorry I can't help more.

Love is the hardest thing to get over. But, if someone is paying for another person's education and living expenses - they aren't doing it for nothing. This may have been going on for a long time. He sounds like he was a "boy toy". I know you don't want to hear things like this - but if you were to forgive and go on - you might find that this will happen over and over again. And that is not a life I would wish on anyone.

What do you think I should do? Should I believe his friend or should I believe him??

Quote:

Originally Posted by marisees05

what do you think i should do? Should i believe his friend or should i believe him???

You have to gage the motivations of both. Since you know them, it shouldn't be hard. Who has the most reason yo lie to you? But there seems to be allot of other issues, to resolve.

You know I am kind of in the same boat. Completely and utterly in love with an older woman I know. Yet it is forbidden for us to be together because of the client worker type relationship.It hurts and pains me all the time. Actually I am no longer allowed contact with her because we became so close.Our last interaction was about 3 years ago. I still cry myself to sleep thinking about her some night but it has gotten better over the years. I don't know if this helps but I hope so.It will be hard but you need to move on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by marisees05

what do you think i should do? Should i believe his friend or should i believe him???

I think you should trust your own instincts. But, lets look at what you know.
You know he has cheated before - with finding out about the 3-some. You know she is paying for his college even though she is married and has children of her own. Who does that? I mean it's nice and all - but as expensive as college and living expenses are - she is getting a return on her $$.
Common sense tells me that he has something going on with her. And, he may just be playing along with her to get her $ and has feelings for you. But - he is not being honest. And if you don't have honesty - you can't have trust. If you don't have trust - you can't have a relationship.

Thanks guys for all your help! It really means a lot!

Quote:

Originally Posted by marisees05

ok so my relationship with my ex is really weird. I met him on new years 4 years ago. He was cocky at first but was still a gentleman. He is originally from Vancouver, Canada (3 hours away from Seattle). He recently got traded to michigan from NY to play hockey. At the beginning he sounded like the perfect boyfriend :D ... he surprised me with flowers at work and school, he drove 2 hours to see me, he left notes by my bed with flowers, he sang me songs on my voicemail...etc. He was seriously like the perfect boyfriend. We got pregnant and then i had a miscarriage and he was so supportive the whole time. So it was time for me to go to college and we both agreed we wouldn't be together if we didn't go together. So he came to my college with me and lived in the dorms. But the only way he could go to college is if his "friend" paid for his college. :rolleyes: SHE!!! She paid for everything... his phone, shopping sprees, vacations, school everything but she hated me with a passion because she wanted to be with him. She is 47 years old with a husband and two young kids. Her husband works all day and doesn't know anything. So me and her like hate each other with a passion. :mad: She would always tell me that he cheats on me and everything else but he told me that she is just jealous. He was always the flirty type but not when we started to date. Like when we went to the mall he wouldn't even look at girls. I would tell him to look at a girl to show him their outfit or something and that was it. That only lasted until are 3 years. On our 3 yr anniversary i found a video on his phone of him having a 3 some!! So anyways i was sick of dealing with this so we broke up for a couple months. Then he came back to MI play hockey for a little bit but then left for Europe to play pro instead. After a month of playing there (also around my 21 b-day) he came back and said he missed me and couldn't be without me! So we started to date again. So anyways i have been dealing with this for the last four years thinking him and the 47 year old are just friends... well 3 days ago his friend told me that he slept with her!!!! I was so heartbroken that i didn't even ask if it was before or after we were going out. Like it would have mattered, he played me like a fool, he lie and cheated! i should've believed her from the beginning because ! PLEASE HELP HOW CAN I GET OVER THIS?!?!?! I'm still in love with him but i don't want to be!

I hate to say it- don't mean to sound cold, but once a cheat always a cheat. I agree with nowwhat- he sounds like a boy toy. He may do all those special little "somethings", flowers, singing you songs- but what good is that if he have to wonder where he is all the time? All you can do right now is give it time. As much as it hurts, you WILL get over it. In the meantime, try to keep yourself busy- do something to spoil yourself- buy yourself that outfit you've been looking at, take a ff to the mall, rent a movie with same ff - you know, an old tear jerker- sit back, glass of wine and some popcorn. You deserve better.