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-   Divorce (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=98)
-   -   First Step. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=83738)

  • Apr 17, 2007, 05:36 PM
    irishgirl7561
    First Step.
    I am ready to leave my husband. We have two children (age 5 and 7) and a house together. First of all, my mother and others will dissaprove of this decision. I will be ousted for this in addition to all the other emotions I need to endure in the process. I have been back and forth on this for a while now, and it's just time. Problem is, what is the first step?? I know - get a lawyer. But do we continue to live together while we go through this? We cannot afford for me to rent elsewhere while we own. I don't have anyone to stay with... temporarily. As I mentioned, my mom and I will probably be estranged for a while in the beginning to I cannot lean on her. I also want to do this the easiest possible way for the children. (I know that is close to impossible). What do I do first??
  • Apr 17, 2007, 05:44 PM
    Clough
    There are shelters for women and children as well as places that are run by various church denominations where you might be able to find a place to stay for a little while. Catholic worker houses and Cornerstone are two that come to mind in the U.S. Don't know where you live. The other thing is, that the organizations might not take you in unless there is some kind of abuse going on.

    I am wondering if you have taken all of the steps that you need to in order to save the marriage? I mean, you do have two small children.

    Don't know what else has been going on between you and your husband. But, it is up to you if you decide to share.
  • Apr 17, 2007, 05:51 PM
    Emland
    It always makes me sad to hear a couple with young children are headed for divorce. I also suggest counseling if at all possible.

    That being said, my mother-in-law cohabitated with her ex-husband while their divorced processed because they couldn't afford it until their house sold. They were in South Carolina at the time. In VA that won't work because you have to be physically separated or the court won't accept the divorce suit. Guess it depends on your state laws.
  • Apr 17, 2007, 06:31 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Probably, you are assuming your mom will do this or that, normally when you show up with a suit case in your hands, they are still your mother.
  • Apr 18, 2007, 08:16 PM
    talaniman
    Why are you seeking a divorce, if I may ask?
  • Apr 22, 2007, 12:14 PM
    dherman1
    I am in the same situation.

    Through stupidity on my part, I have no finances to speak of and as such, I am living with my STBE (Soon To Be Ex) wife. We have our own rooms, lives, etc.

    We are prepping the house, getting it ready to go on sale Tuesday for the Realtor's open house and then our first full open house on Sunday.

    Good luck with things.

    Dan

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