Ok here's my suitation . My Daughter is 14 and 7 months pregnant and her boyfriend is in jail. I can't get my child to go to school. I am at my wits in this morning we had a big argument I was trying to get her to go to school and she refused. All she cares about is her cell phone and internet. Chool isn't important to her. I took her phone from her and told her she isn't allow to used the computer. But she really needs to go to school. What can I do to get her to attend school . I'm tired of crying . And she knows this hurts me and she seem not to care. Please can someone give me some advice. I don't know what else to do. I'm begging for help:confused:

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Originally Posted by cherry35

Ok heres my suitation . My Daughter is 14 and 7 months pregant and her boyfriend is in jail. I can't get my child to go to school. I am at my wits in this morning we had a big arguement I was trying to get her to go to school and she refused. All she cares about is her cell phone and internet. chool isn't important to her. I took her phone from her and told her she isn't allow to used the computer. But she really needs to go to school. What can I do to get her to attend school . I'm tired of crying . And she knows this hurts me and she seem not to care. Please can someone give me some advice. I don't know what else to do. i'm beggin for help:confused:

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Who is the parent here?
Obviously she doesn't have a track record of making sound choices but this might be a totally different issue. She is hormonal, 7 months pregnant and a CHILD. This must make it a horrible situation for her at school. I think you and her should discuss some home schooling options at this point. The school district might even be able to help you with this.
YOU are the parent and you should have had the upper hand a long time ago.
I sympathize with you but it's time for you to take decisive action. There are MANY programs out there for you and your daughter to take advantage of, look for them.
Sit down to your daughter and LISTEN to her, find out what it is she is hoping to accomplish. File charges against the man who impregnated your daughter (if you haven't already) or he may one day be fighting for custody.
Have the cell phone turned off and the internet connection turned off if necessary but do SOMETHING... please!
Your daughter needs to learn responsibility very quickly or you will end up raising another child on your own while she is out doing whatever she pleases.
That is, if she did not choose to put her infant up for adoption.
Best wishes
Feel free to message me or rate my answer

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Originally Posted by iminlove

Who is the parent here?
Obviously she doesn't have a track record of making sound choices but this might be a totally different issue. She is hormonal, 7 months pregnant and a CHILD. This must make it a horrible situation for her at school. I think you and her should discuss some home schooling options at this point. The school district might even be able to help you with this.
YOU are the parent and you should have had the upper hand a long time ago.
I sympathize with you but it's time for you to take decisive action. There are MANY programs out there for you and your daughter to take advantage of, look for them.
Sit down to your daughter and LISTEN to her, find out what it is she is hoping to accomplish. File charges against the man who impregnated your daughter (if you haven't already) or he may one day be fighting for custody.
Have the cell phone turned off and the internet connection turned off if necessary but do SOMETHING..............please!
Your daughter needs to learn responsibility very quickly or you will end up raising another child on your own while she is out doing whatever she pleases.
That is, if she did not choose to put her infant up for adoption.
Best wishes
Feel free to message me or rate my answer

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I have taken some steps . She is attending a school that is just for pregnant teens as a regular school was just too much for her. I don't know what happen me and my daughter was so close but now my opinion on anything don't matter to her. And unfortunately I can't file charges against this boy because he is only 16. The sad thing is this boy is manic depresant and I'm scared for the baby and my daughter. I love my daughter to death and she don't understand that I want her to get her education and have a good life. It seems like she is throwing away her life. And the boy mother isn't helping the suitation she thinks its great that she will be a grandma. But I'm so hurted I try so hard to be strong but its hard I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. I have turn off her phone and her internet. Right now she is hating me but I got to do something before she destrpys her life. And I want to thank you for responding to my post . It was very much appreciated

Juv court can still do things to the boy, go talk to the Juv services officer.

And it is easy, take away her cell phone, put security pass words on her computer so she can't be on it, unless you allow her to.

Be the mother, no sterio, no radio, no nothing if she is not doing what she is suppose to do.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Juv court can still do things to the boy, go talk to the Juv services officer.

And it is easy, take away her cell phone, put security pass words on her computer so she can't be on it, unless you allow her to.

Be the mother, no sterio, no radio, no nothing if she is not doing what she is suppose to do.

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Ive been there and done that . In canada the legal age to have sex is 14. He cannot be charge. My lawyer tried if he was over the age of 16 and my daughter wa under 13 yes but not with our canadian laws.

She as no access to her iPod, cell , or her laptop.

I so completely empathize with you. I have two daughter's ages 19 and 15. The 19 yr old has a baby by abusive ex. And the 15 yr old is trying me in ways I never thought possible. Some days I think I'm going to kill her. :O) Honestly, your caught between love, frustration, well intending outsider's telling you what you should have done, anger, and many other emotions. At this point... you have to focus on what you have control over, what you can change, the present (not past). Though we can lead our children, we cannot make their choices for them... no matter how hard we try. Try talking with her about why she doesn't want to go to school. What are other options? Home school, GED program. The path she has chosen is a bumpy one. And your along for the ride. What can YOU control. Really, only your own behavior. There are juvenile programs that you could access for an out of control teen. They may be able to help you access more programs that will help. I would hesitate to use them just now as your really at a critical point. She is hurting, scared, lonely, and not showing you any of this. Taking everything may backfire. Instead, put a limit. So much time daily on phone/internet, whatever the privilege. Set up a way for her to earn more time with these... going to school, study home schooling, chores, parenting classes, etc. Until the baby is born, she is not going to understand what impact this is going to have on her. She is still unable to think abstractly, comprehend long term consequences. Try to remember that everything a normal teen and pregnant woman feel she is feeling only much more so. As hard as things are right now... it is temporary. She is young. There are many unknowns in front of your family right now. But all is not lost. Things can be turned around. Sometimes you just have to ride the wave to shore before you can try again. My heartfelt thoughts go out to you. Cathy

Well all good advice, and I don't know what the laws are in Canada but in my state (NC) the parent can be arrested if the kid is not attending school. So you may want to call the truancy office and apprise them of the situation.

Your daughter needs help. She has a lot on her plate and she is so young. I am certainly NOT siding with her but I think she needs someone to talk to about these things. Have her meet with a psychiatrist, she needs professional help. She probably feels very alone right now and doesn't realize you are there to help her. She also doesn't need to be stressed out with a baby on the way, and since her boyfriend is in jail its very hard for her not to be stressed.

Ok. Well first off I am a teen so I can tell you what she is thinking my best friend is pregnant and I know what it is like I went through it but I lost the baby. I don't know what your religious beleifs are but I know that no matter what you are going through God can help and he will always be there. Yes, she does need everything taken away from her and she needs to earn your trust back that is what my mom did for me... SEX... may be a small word but it is a very big deal and if she is going to fight with you she isn't mature enough to handle it

It may be possible that, at 14, she is withdrawing from everyone and has huge fears that she doesn't know how to discuss. She is going to be a parent in 2 months. THAT is a heavy burden to think about. Perhaps you may want to ask her about what her thoughts are right now. Will she be keeping the baby or adopting it out? I think there can be fear and guilt mixed with either decision. How will each decision affect her future and the future of the child? Will the father help? Just a few questions you may want to discuss with her to get her input as to why she is withdrawing like this. If she is extremely uncomfortable being in school right now, discuss as to why and come up with an alternative plan. Maybe she just needs this time to sort out all of this confusion, then return to school after the child is born. There is a wonderful program you both may want to check out at Welcome to Job Corps . She can't join until she is 16, but you may want to look into it as an option. You may want communicate with her school to discuss various options.

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Originally Posted by Mintwolf

It may be possible that, at 14, she is withdrawing from everyone and has huge fears that she doesn't know how to discuss. She is going to be a parent in 2 months. THAT is a heavy burden to think about. Perhaps you may want to ask her about what her thoughts are right now. Will she be keeping the baby or adopting it out? I think there can be fear and guilt mixed with either decision. How will each decision affect her future and the future of the child? Will the father help? Just a few questions you may want to discuss with her to get her input as to why she is withdrawing like this. If she is extremely uncomfortable being in school right now, discuss as to why and come up with an alternative plan. Maybe she just needs this time to sort out all of this confusion, then return to school after the child is born. There is a wonderful program you both may want to check out at Welcome to Job Corps . She can't join until she is 16, but you may want to look into it as an option. You may want communicate with her school to discuss various options.

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I saw the welcome to Job Corps and wanted to say something. No Im not a pregnant teen. I am 24 with a 3 year old son but I know several girls at the Job Corps that I actually attend as we speak who are 16 and 17 and have babies. They are able to get a GED or High School Diploma and help getting a place to live, vehicle and whatever else. There are some that will allow her to live on center with the baby, she attends class during the day and the baby will be in free day care on center and others will allow her to be a Non-resident which means instead of living on campus during the week she will attend class during the day and come home at night.

No matter what the choices made, good luck

I actually attended job corps when I was a teen. It is a wonderful program and can be especially helpful for teens lacking discipline. Definitely something to keep in mind if she continues on her self destructive path.