I just got into nursing school and I'm half way done with the first semester. I'm also dating a girl whom I've been with for 2.5 years. I've been so busy lately I'm afraid she would leave me because I either don't make as much time for her as before I started school, or that she would just find me boring now that I've been pre-occupied. It's gotten to the point where she's been hanging out with her best friend lately (going to the bar, and she just recently asked if she could go to the club with her girlfriend). The whole 2.5 years she's been really loyal and honest, and recently I've been pushing her away and arguing with her over insecure and pointless issues that don't make sense. Just today she asked me if she could go to the club with just her girlfriend and I said it was fine, but in a insecure way that lead to an argument. Because of my stupid arguments she hasn't really had conversations with me as much as she used to and I think it's because she's afraid we'll end up arguing because of me. I need to stop! I know it's probably as simple as keeping myself busy, I'm just afraid that I've pushed her so far now even though she tells me not to worry and accepts my apology for being stupid. Also when I get angry in an argument, I tend to blurt out nonsense that doesn't make sense and makes the argument even worse.

Time to be realistic either you can spend time with her or you can't, but you can't control her and she doesn't need your permission. I would say the problem is maturity.

Same girlfriend from last August? You got a lot of good advice then, and didn't take any of it.
Looks to me like the two of you were born to tangle. She asks for permission to go places, how pathetic is that? You feed right into it, and are horribly insecure. She snoops, at least she was last summer. I still say this is doomed. You both act about 14.

Grow up and get control of yourself. Think before you act or speak, and lose that insecurity. Then you won't act or talk impulsive nonsense, that's pointless from the fear of losing your girlfriend.

That in itself is POINTLESS! Just as pointless as she asking your permission to hang with friends, or go clubbing. You should be enjoying the time you spend with your girlfriend because there are no guarantees it will last forever anyway. Such a notion is as pointless as it gets.

How do you lose the insecurity? What can you do to keep calm and prevent yourself from overthinking? I've noticed with past relationships that insecurity is one of my issues. Normally at the beginning of a relationship I'm fine, until the girl shows her insecurities for a bit. With this girl she was a little jealous in the beginning, but now I've noticed that she isn't and has learned to trust me.

I do it by facing facts, and not just acting on whatever feelings I initially have. Sometimes it may require you to shut up, and listen, instead of blurting out nonsense. Do you actually know where your fears, and insecurities come from? What causes or triggers them?

Once you know what you are afraid of, you can find the courage to deal with it, and PRACTICE better behavior for yourself.

Almost everyone in the world has a degree of insecurity. Some more, some middling, some a little.

You FORCE yourself to stop for the SAKE of the relationship.
Then you congratulate yourself for your self control and maturity.
Step back. Don't blurt stuff out. Say 'Let's get together as soon as we cool down, and talk about this.'

Real love involves communication, compromise, and understanding. Without all 3 working at once, you don't have love.

Also another thing, a couple of months ago my girlfriend got a job with her best friend who is a girl. Since then, she's been hanging out and doing this more often with her at work and outside of work, than with me. For instance, at work when they have the free time they would both go to the mall, shopping, or eat at random places, and just on the weekend recently, her and her girlfriend had a drink together with another one of her friends. And also today she said that her girlfriend invited her to eat at a restaurant after work, and she also asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go clubbing with her in 2 weeks which she told me about several days ago. I've recently been bothered by this because I've been wondering why my girlfriend has been wanting to hang out with her friend more often than me. The thing about the drinking and the club that bothers me, is that maybe a year ago I asked her if she wanted to go clubbing with me or to have a drink at the bar, and she told me that she "hated being in crowds, and hated the taste of alcohol," but when her best friend asked her she doesn't hesitate to go? I don't understand that... She offered to have dinner with me this coming weekend because of our "anniversary." The only other time I've seen her was just yesterday and the day before, but it was just to hit up the gym together, which is what we typically do. All we do is gym, go to the park and walk the dog, watch movies, or stay home which she said is what she likes to do with me, but outside of that I usually get an excuse when I ask to go to the club or to drink.

Are you totally nuts?
"I've been so busy..I either don't make as much time for her as before I started school..''

What do you WANT? Do you hear yourself? Are you going to get through school, or follow her around while your life goes down the tubes?
She has given you no evidence that she isn't true to you.
So what if she goes to clubs with her friend? That's GOOD when you are preoccupied with school.
And if you lose her, it won't be because you study, or because she goes clubbing.
It will be because you can't wrap your brain around the simplest concepts about healthy relationships.

Stop telling stories of what you think might be untrustworthy behavior, and figure out how to take the advice we volunteers have given you.

I respectfully submit that you be grateful for the things that work well in this relationship, and focus on building on them, and let the other stuff go that doesn't seem to work. That's how YOU get healthy by dealing with your own fears and insecurities. Dealing with reality starts with YOU, and what YOU do, not her, and what she does.

That' how YOU learn to control your own thoughts words, and actions, because that's all you can control. That's just common sense REALITY.

Practice dealing with it!

I've been feeling really depressed and heart broken. I just feel like a lot has changed. I want this relationship to work and I know I have to work on myself, but I've noticed that she hasn't been as affectionate before we argued and I know it was my fault for being so stupid. It's literally been a week and the vibe between us feels a little weird. Some days she would be affectionate with me and hold my hand, and some days it just feels like we're friends. I'm stressing myself out by overthinking too much. Lol... I don't know what's wrong with me this week. I don't want to lose her and I know I have to work on myself.

I thought you dumped her and stopped the contact? What are you doing now? For sure she isn't going to move in with you and who gets back with someone who dumped them and is so full of emotional drama?

You haven't shown one iota of self-realization during any of this, and it's been a week.
You didn't show any last summer either.
Each time someone gives you insight into YOU, you come up with another story about HER.
You are hopeless. We are spinning our wheels trying to help. You are never going to have a good relationship.
You are unwilling to see yourself, understand yourself, and change yourself.
There, does saying that get you off your pity pot?

Saying 'I know I have to work on myself' is just the tiniest little first step.
YOU start saying what YOU are doing to be a more mature person. Otherwise I for one am out of here.