Hi, all
After over a months since her last "Let's see" followed by nothing of a contact from her, I finally decided to make my move. I packed her stuff, and it was sent to her last Sunday. I dropped her a letter today, basically saying I love her but I can't linger on like this, that she can't play my feelings any more, and that she's a wonderful person and wished her happiness.
I got her return mail then. It says "you've sent me everything. if you don't want anything to remind you of me than it's ok. I haven't played with your feelings, sorry you don't understand that. But I have changed. I know (!!!! - my punct) you gonna be alright. everything is for better. And this time alone made me feel much better."
So it's over. I only regret she's leaving with no guilt at all about her playing with me. She is leaving with an idea that what she's done is completely OK. Well, I feel... nothing. Maybe my solitude for the last 4 months made its work. Maybe it has not hit me yet. I don't know.
I only hope that the warmth of my hands and heart will find their way to another heart who will reciprocate. A bitter ironic feeling. The end of my story.
OK I'm just venting. Thanks for listening.