First off thanks for taking the time to read this and giving your feedback. So one day I was kicking back with my fiancé and she made a comment about pics of me with an ex on FB and Instagram, not in a mean way just kind of laughing about it. I told her that I already removed them from Instagram. So we went on Instagram and checked and I did. I countered because she had pics with her ex on Insta, FB, and more than likely other media but I wouldn’t know because I didn’t have any other acct. She removed them from insta…

Now before I dive too deep into the story I can tell she has a hard past with her ex and despite what she lies to me and says, she did love him and she may still be trying to get over him. So she said all pics removed. I go on a few days later onto FB her acct still has all the pics of him on there, now no big deal if we were just dating but we’re engaged so I think getting rid of pics and love notes from our ex’s would be simple/stupid believe me this girl is incredibly intelligent, so simple and stupid don’t correspond to her at all. So I confront her on it and she pretends that she didn’t even think about it, now girls never forget stuff like that especially when they tell you to get rid of the stuff while they’re doing the same.

So all’s well then my buddy convinces me to finally get this other social media app that he’s been trying to for years. So I get it and go to her profile to add her as a friend. Not one pic of us together and I’m thinking it’s more of a professional thing for her. I scroll down towards the bottom and it’s full of pics of the 2 of them when they dated with a bunch of hearts and love things. So this confirms I was right she did love him, no big deal, but she is huge on not even letting a tiny lie out. If I wore blue shoes and I tell her I wore black she would be pissed, that big of a deal to her. So these posts and pics are in her profile, still after all the drama earlier.

What do you guys/girls think I should do? Is she ready for marriage? I may have left something out you can always ask.

If you set your lives and ideas about each other on FB and other silly online social medial you will never be happy.

First your past, her past is just that, past. So there are photos from past. Changing it, is like trying to change the history books to only show Trump as President, not the others before him.

Next get over it, stop asking her or thinking about her past, and worry about the future and the current relationship. If you look at the past, you will ruin the future.

So she loved him, has his old photos on social media... who cares,

Sounds like a new relationship, time to make it a real in person one, and a lot, and I mean a lot less time on computer worries

Well, she is YOUR fiancé. Don't you think that you should know that by now? You just discovered the issues with all this techie stuff, some of it never goes away. Just type your name in a search engine.

How long have you dated, and how long have you been engaged? How old are you both, and how much time between her break up and you entering her life? You both sound like you are rebounding from previous relationships. More information is needed though.

Although I can understand what all this means to you, from jealousy to hurt to worry that she tends to lie herself but doesn't want you to, I am concerned that
a) If you can't work this out with HER instead of buddies and strangers online, you will have a tough time with real problems
b) Your question 'Is she ready for marriage' doesn't include asking YOURSELF if YOU are ready for marriage

I don't think either one of you is ready for marriage - especially you, because of the above.

Learn how to talk together in a calm rational way at calm times.
Pretend you are in couples counseling. Make a date to talk.

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Originally Posted by seeking_advice

First off thanks for taking the time to read this and giving your feedback. So one day I was kicking back with my fiancé and she made a comment about pics of me with an ex on FB and Instagram, not in a mean way just kind of laughing about it. I told her that I already removed them from Instagram. So we went on Instagram and checked and I did. I countered because she had pics with her ex on Insta, FB, and more than likely other media but I wouldn’t know because I didn’t have any other acct. She removed them from insta…

Now before I dive too deep into the story I can tell she has a hard past with her ex and despite what she lies to me and says, she did love him and she may still be trying to get over him. So she said all pics removed. I go on a few days later onto FB her acct still has all the pics of him on there, now no big deal if we were just dating but we’re engaged so I think getting rid of pics and love notes from our ex’s would be simple/stupid believe me this girl is incredibly intelligent, so simple and stupid don’t correspond to her at all. So I confront her on it and she pretends that she didn’t even think about it, now girls never forget stuff like that especially when they tell you to get rid of the stuff while they’re doing the same.

So all’s well then my buddy convinces me to finally get this other social media app that he’s been trying to for years. So I get it and go to her profile to add her as a friend. Not one pic of us together and I’m thinking it’s more of a professional thing for her. I scroll down towards the bottom and it’s full of pics of the 2 of them when they dated with a bunch of hearts and love things. So this confirms I was right she did love him, no big deal, but she is huge on not even letting a tiny lie out. If I wore blue shoes and I tell her I wore black she would be pissed, that big of a deal to her. So these posts and pics are in her profile, still after all the drama earlier.

What do you guys/girls think I should do? Is she ready for marriage? I may have left something out you can always ask.

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I Am going to assume that when you say you went on her accounts that means that you viewed her profile(s) from yours. Not that you know her passwords and are going onto her account and snooping. That is a sign of lack of trust and surely a sign that there are troubles in this relationship.

Before concentrating on this problem you should probably take a step back think about a few things. For example. She's not with her ex any more, she's with you. She's been with you long enough that you've decided that you want to spend your entire life with her, come kids, mortgage, dogs, cats, and all that stuff. So, she's committed to you, and you're committed to her. Barring a serious fracture in the relationship, you're on the way to spending eternity together. You and her. Not her and her ex.

A person can, and will, love many times in their lives. Each time is different and you take different things away from that. I have been in love many times. I am married to the love of my life. I was married for a brief period to what I thought would be the love of my life. I dated a couple girls who I thought were the loves of my life as well. I took away something special from each relationship. I don't have any photos of them up on my social media, but that doesn't mean that there aren't fond moments I reminisce about from time to time.

It could very well be that he dumped her, and she isn't over it yet. It could be that the photos remind her of some good times. Those memories you have NO right to take away from her. They are NOT signifying that she's dissatisfied with you but that she had a good time at that point. It is your hang up here that is the problem. She might have stuff to get over, but you're the one obsessing with the past.

Leave it alone, and pay it no mind. Stop snooping, stop trying to get her to change her past. It isn't worth it and will end up tearing the relationship apart because you don't trust her. Just remember how deeply you were in love with her before you saw the pictures. That is the person you're spending the rest of your life with. That hasn't changed.