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-   -   Too much abuse what did I do (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=82985)

  • Apr 15, 2007, 07:47 PM
    jaxie
    Too much abuse what did I do
    I dated jim for 8 years. His son who is 22 has a girl living there at his house. I helped her out got her feeling comfortable and one day went upstairs looking for my fiancée and she went nuts. She told me ge t the F out you don't belong up here then verbally and physically attacked me. I told my fiancée I will not take this abuse he told me he's my son that's his girl well what about ME>? I told him she best apologize or Im out of there. That was 3 months ago and I never graced his door step again. I feel he should have kicked out the kid I mean I was his fiancée of 8 yrs we were getting married but he said its his sons girl he 'cant do that' I was like this is YOUR HOUSE. SO I told him until I get apology I won't go there and I haven't. He sent me a letter telling me how mean I am he loves misses me. He told me to come over I Didn't. What gives??
  • Apr 15, 2007, 07:51 PM
    Lillian42
    He should have kicked that girl out if she attacked her.But it his is son... but I can see him kicking her out not him maybe it just is not meant to be because I would feel the way you do I would not want to live somewhere if I felt threatened. It sounds like you would be better off I know it will be hard 8 yrs is a long time but if he is not going to stick up for you when you are being attacked then that's not love in my book.
  • Apr 15, 2007, 07:57 PM
    jaxie
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Lillian42
    He should have kicked that girl out if she attacked her.But it his is son.... but i can see him kicking her out not him maybe it just is not meant to be because i would feel the way you do i would not want to live somewhere if i felt threatened. it sounds like you would be better off i know it will be hard 8 yrs is a long time but if he is not going to stick up for you when you are being attacked then thats not love in my book.

    THE KID ATTACKED ME a 40 yr old woman who went out of her way to help her out.
    He could have told the son she can't live there no more yes I agree. IF Jim says BOO about his kids girl he goes nuts on his father if it were the other way around the kid would have made sure I WAS GONE for sure. I agree I won't live with VIOLENCE. He didn't stick up for me your right and your also right that's not love in MY book either. But to throw 8 yrs away my god. ANd I was so good to his son too. Sad. Now he sends a letter to come over what am I a dog? He telling me to come and I go running? NO I told him no apology NO going back to that nut house. Thanks hun
  • Apr 15, 2007, 08:22 PM
    jaxie
    Any other thoughts greatly appreciated
  • Apr 15, 2007, 08:45 PM
    Lillian42
    It is sad he threw away 8 years especially when you treated his family so good it sound like he was lucky to have you I commend you on sticking to your guns and not going back to a guy who dose not deserve you!! You are very strong!
  • Apr 15, 2007, 08:52 PM
    jaxie
    Thank you lilly I really appreciate it from the bottom of my broken heart. You are very kind
  • Apr 15, 2007, 09:29 PM
    Matt3046
    Do you want to see him? If you do someone will have to give (most likely you). If you don't then just walk.
  • Apr 16, 2007, 07:40 AM
    NowWhat
    I would have to ask myself if your boyfriend and the son's girlfriend have something going on?
    I mean - all you are asking for is an apology at this point. She verbally and physically attacked you - you are within your rights to get an apology - if nothing else.
    So, why is he protecting her and not you after 8 years.
    If that is a window into your future with this man - then you may want to turn the other way and find someone new!
  • Apr 16, 2007, 12:58 PM
    jaxie
    Matt thank you very much, hun I appreciate it. For 8 years I was the one who gave so I best walk like you said. NOWHAT I thought of that but see its like history repeating itself. His father did everything for him and it's the same here even though his son don't give him any respect telling Jim to F off and smashing 4 of his fathers cars and its just such a bad scene. Jim was not there much for his son when he was a kid so I know JIm feels that the more crap he takes and the more he gives well then he will 'win his son over' but hey it still isn't out of the question about the 2 of them. I mean I told him your 48 she's 22 are you going through a midlife crises with the way you dress like the kids and talk like the kids? He said no but I don't believe him and also when Jimmy was 25 engaged with his fiancée now his x wife 6 months pregnant he was having sex with a 15 and 16 yr old both of them. 15 HE was 25 and had a baby on the way weeks short of marriage. She bailed on him and she told me not to trust him. Well he stole all my money took a bank receipt AND SOLD all my gold and diamonds given to me over 30 yrs from family irreplaceable. TO the tune of over 12 THOUSAND DOLLARS for a crack habit. IF he could do that to me hell like his own mom said he did it to her too stole all her jewelry and money. I just felt like I put so much into the relationship I didn't want to bail I wanted it to work out. But a hole is an A hole and I hope to GOD what goes around goes around do you both know what I mean?? Thanks guys and any input comments very welcomed. I will keep checking to see if yas had to add anything. THANK YOU BOTH Jaxie
  • Apr 16, 2007, 01:01 PM
    jaxie
    ps now all i own is 2 charms from my kids and one gold necklace. And the memories from my family? Sold to a pawn shop see its not so much the 12 grand in jewelry it's the memories. And he did that to me i should have left then as for pressing charges i had no proof.:(
  • Apr 16, 2007, 01:35 PM
    NowWhat
    I would have to say - send the boy's girlfriend a thank you letter for her actions. They may have set you free.
  • Apr 16, 2007, 03:15 PM
    shygrneyzs
    You are far better off without this guy and his problems. He should have stood up for you. You were not being mean when you walked out the door - you were trying to preserve what sanity you had left. I am terribly sorry to hear you lost your family's heirloom jewelry. That is a very expensive price to pay for being involved with this man and his family.

    Keep looking forward and never look back. Let this guy and his son and other trash wallow in their mess. You have better things to do with your life. Congratulations for getting out!
  • Apr 16, 2007, 05:07 PM
    jaxie
    Shy Thank You So Much. You Really Do Understand, Yes Let Them All Wallow In Their So Called Lives. I Really Was Trying To Preserve What Sanity I Had Left I Ended Up With Severe Panic Depression Had To Go On Medication Ya Know New Years Eve At 11 I Up And Left. I Didn't Want To Start The New Year With Him And Them. Something Just Snapped. He Writes He Loves Misses Me No He Misses My Money The Jobless Loser And What Else He Could Have Sold Maybe The Tv! The Son Is Trash Too And That Was Great Insight With What Little Info You Had To Go On. Thank You For The Congratulations. I Look At It This Way I Did Plenty Good For Him And His Family So Screw The 8 Years Maybe The Good I Did Will Come Around Back To Me Just Like All The Bad They Did To Me Will Come Around Back To Them.
  • Apr 16, 2007, 05:08 PM
    jaxie
    Nowhat That Is A Great Idea! Hope Next Time She Snaps On Too Much Crack Its On Someone Her Age Who Will Kick Her Four Foot 6 Inch Azz. Hahah 4 feet 4 she has a complex she's like a little grinder monkey on crack her clothes fit my kid when she was 5 yrs old, I think she has a complex about her lack of height I don't and Im just 5'1
  • Apr 16, 2007, 05:12 PM
    jaxie
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NowWhat
    I would have to say - send the boy's girlfriend a thank you letter for her actions. They may have set you free.


    10 stars to that idea i only know her first name but she will get the letter. That house is not a home it's a nut house. They live like pigs i could have made a home but not under those circumstances and they don't deserve it. I helped her so much did so much and to disrespect a 40 yr old woman my god. She told me when i said we all have to respect each other and she said i have no respect for you i should have said you have no respect for anyone. 22 slept with 54 guys.. she told me... she don't even respect herself. Was i supposed to be impressed she's a pig?? :d
  • Apr 17, 2007, 06:41 AM
    talaniman
    Wel since you haven't discussed it rationally who knows what's up. All things can be worked out if those involved are willing and its obvious your not.
  • Apr 17, 2007, 12:41 PM
    jaxie
    I was always willing for 8 years I am tired of all the abuse. I did all I could for him he was never there in my time of need. 2 should make ammends it shouldn't always be one person to do so.
  • Apr 17, 2007, 12:43 PM
    jaxie
    Its under the heading harsh treatment let me see if I can paste some o fit for you
  • Apr 17, 2007, 12:46 PM
    LuvMyMaltipoo
    In my opinion, the biggest problem is that the ADULTS aren't acting like adults in the house. He isn't standing up for himself and you could have been more mature about the situation as well. I'm not siding with the son & girlfriend, but you let them get what they wanted by running away. You and him should sit down and talk about the situation calmly... and see what happens from there. Good luck!
  • Apr 17, 2007, 12:52 PM
    jaxie
    Shy thank you. Bravo yeah she was making fun of me because I have always been in long term relationships been with 4 guys she was like omg! I been with 54! Like I said I was NOT impressed. OH and hahah his father told me his son got crabs. Either she's screwing around again haha or he did and she bought the old got it from a gas station toilet seat. I JUST HADDA TELL YA THAT ONE! :)

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