Hi I really could do with some advice from others.

I am a 28 year old female and am a lesbian I have been seeing a girl for just over a month. But problem being I told myself before hand that I would not get in to a relationship.
As I know that I need to get myself sorted first.

I find it hard to show effection to her and have what normal relationships have at first. I sometimes feel smovered even when just having a cuddle I like my own space.
I know that with the way I am will end up effecting her.

I have told her that I like my space and that I was never going to get myself in to a relationship just yet.
I feel that if I end it I will hurt her as I know she has strong feelings but I also know that if I don't do something I may end up hurting her more do I end it? I know its my choice at the end of the day but would like to hear someone else opinion on it
Thanks for listening.

That is the thing. If you do not feel as strongly for her then she does for you. If you just stay with her to keep her happy because you do not want to hurt her, you yourself will be miserable. It is not fair to her because if she knows now that you can not commit and your feelings are not as strong it is better that she knows that now. So she won't get hurt more in the future.

At the same time you have only being seeing this girl for a month. Many people say that it will not develop into more, but you just never know when the love bug will bite you. True love takes time and it is up to you if you want to continue seeing her or not. It might surprise you? Eighter way like you have said it is your decision.

Joe

I think your reacting to moving to fast, as JH has pointed out. Another thing is communicating to your partner how you feel and why. A month is not a lot of time to know someone, so I can understand wanting to go slow and have your space, and any one who deals with you must respect that. Seems she is a lot more into this than you are, and you do need to express that, and tell her to slow down. Be honest with her. A month does not make a relationship and this is the time to have fun getting to know each other. Let her know she is moving to fast, and pushing you away.

I honestly think this person did not want to read my advice. She posted it twice, I responded to it twice but no response. I guess the name Jesushelper scares some people and some people assume they are automatically be judged. Which obviously is not the case, but I am curious on why the poster has not responded yet?

Joe

It's just like my signature says below:

Thank you for your advice.
I didn't know if my first post would stay on for the next day for others to see and help me.

I am thinking that I should give myself time for me and to sort me out first.
Im not being much of partner when I can't even give her a cuddle first.
It's a bit sceary when the other side is sailing in front and my sail isn't even up if you no what I mean.

Oh, when you post it stays up for a long time. People. Other people will notice it.

It is your decision and I wish the best for you in the future. Good luck and I hope you decide to stick around on the site.

Joe

I feel its for the best I really do I feel bad for not being able to show her the effection that she should have in a relationship. And really am worried that I will hurt and upset her when telling her but I know it would hurt more if we carried on.

Yes, it is important to tell her now how you feel. Letting her know might be hurtful but like you said if you just let it go on it might be worse later on.

Hope one day you do find that true love that you can live your life with.

Is it everybody you felt like that with or just this person? I am curious if your just maybe not a touchy feely person? Some are and some are not. You know what I mean?

Its been for a while now that I've not been able to show effection I used to love my cuddles and having that closeness.
But then I have been distant from everyone really I've not been very positive about things lately for things happening in my life.
I really need to sort myself out first without feeling preasured and I know that she don't mean to make me feel that way.
I now have the mission of getting myself togeather and getting the will power in myself to sort things.
I have a low opinion about myself and don't like the way I look waight wise but I can tell myself and picture everything to do in my mind but when it comes to it there's no ummfff there I think helping myself loose some waight I will have more confidence in doing other things.

I hope this is not brought on by what other people say to you? Many people are self concience about different thing about themselves. Each person deals with it differently. Some learn to be happy with themselves the way they are which is very important. Or some really truly feel they need to make changes and positive ones for themselves.

If your truly thinking about losing weight, I have tried myself on my own, it does not seem to work that well and it is hard to stick with a routine without a support person.

Why not try to join a group, or a gym and they will have personal goals that they set for you and give you programs. This will help you greatly in my opinion.

Best wishes always,

Joe