How do you pick yourself up after you have fallen so deep into this hole.
I have become the lowest of the low. Myself confidence is lost... I don't have a grasp at anything anymore. I feel as if I have lost my ground, no I don't have a ground anymore... It's like I am floating.
I've completely messed up my relationship with pushing the person I love more and more away from me. I don't have the confidence to give space in my relationship. I just don't know. What am I doing? I'm so needy and lost and confused right now.
I CAN'T GET MYSELF TOGETHER... and I keep pushing the person I love away from me more and more with each phone call I make. I hate myself! I just hate myself so much! I want to be happy and I want him to see I'm happy and free and confident, bold, beautiful perfect... everything someone could want in another person. Lets face it I've realized today that a emotional reck of a crazy girlfriend not being able to coop with giving space calls her boyfriend every other day while she is suppose to be giving him "space"- is not cute! I know I'm the lowest of the loooow right now. GOSH I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE MYSELF. What am I going to do now.. is it too late to make things right? Can I still make things right? I don't know. Can I still show him I'm capable to giving him space? Can I still prove to him he's right in having a relationship with me? Or have I blown it all away.
:(

How do I get back my confidence and pride?

No you have not blown it all away. Instead of showing "him" that you are capabale of giving him space, you need to prove to yourself that "you" are capable of giving space. Each time you make that phone call, you are only letting yourself down. If you stop making those calls, you will soon get your pride and confidence back. Unplug the phone and take your cell phone and give it to a friend for a week, or ask a friend if it is possible to call them instead of him whenever you have the urge and your friend will be able to talk to you and tell you to stay away. Write little sticky notes to yourself and post them everywhere. Write down all the reasons you do not need to call him and look at that every time you have the urge. You can do this!! You need to realize that while you are not going to be calling him, he will not be calling you and you have to face that. I have been in this exact situation and with each passing day I felt better and better. But you have to STICK to it. Phsyc (sp) yourself out and make yourself believe that you are the one that needs the space and when you think about it you need it anyway. I guarantee he will be grateful and you might even realize that he is not worth it anyway. Time heals all wounds.