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-   -   I am unable to make friendships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=828530)

  • Nov 2, 2016, 07:44 AM
    Hiwatari_yuki
    I am unable to make friendships
    I have transferred schools this year and I have difficulty making friends it's not like I am shy or anything and it's not like I am rude and they don't hate me it's just that I am considered a classmate not a friend. I have friends from my previous school with me in the new school but they have been avoiding me lately and I have no idea why. I do have friends from my previous school whom I am still contacting them but it's me who always calls. Or texts... they don't contact me until I do. Does that mean they don't like me? And you can't say they might be busy because they do reply when I text or call them. I am really starting to get depressed I have told my mom but she told me they are not people you should make friends with but I don't understand why and does she think this would make me feel better? The fact that they know me only when they need something is seriously getting on my nerves.
    What should I do? I can't just not have friends. It's difficult! Please advice me
    Any advice appreciated and thanks in advance
  • Nov 2, 2016, 08:15 AM
    smoothy
    You don't force people to be your friends... it comes naturally once they get to know you enough.

    You focus on your work, the friends thing will happen in its own time with the right people at the right time.
  • Nov 2, 2016, 08:58 AM
    talaniman
    The process of making new friends, and making adjustments to new environment can be frustrating, but be patient, and be patient with your old friends, as they to are trying to adapt to their own new reality. The whole point is learning to be happy with yourself, and not depend on "FRIENDS" to be happy.

    Growing up ain't easy when you are young and inexperienced I know, so just focus on your school work and being a good person when you get a chance to. NO!!! Your mommy can't make you feel better.....that's YOUR responsibility!

    LOL, moms will try their best though... no matter how old you get to be or how mature you think you are!! Be grateful for that, understand?
  • Nov 2, 2016, 04:24 PM
    dontknownuthin
    The best way to make friends in school is to get involved - sports, theater, clubs, band - and you naturally get to know people better. Otherwise, just be friendly - don't force it but smile, say "Hi" to people.
  • Nov 3, 2016, 02:50 PM
    joypulv
    I doubt that your old friends are avoiding you as much as they are just busier than you are making more friends and getting involved in activities (which as just said above, is how you make new friends).
    They don't want to cluster together in a little group of old friends.
    I'm not saying you have to plunge head first into making friends with everyone. That's fake. That's where activities come in.
    So.... what have you joined?

    You can also make new friends with the people sitting next to you in class. I simple hi, a little compliment about hair or clothes, a little question about liking the teacher or work... not forced, just friendly, and slowly it develops. If it goes 'wrong' with someone, you accept it as a fact of life, and continue on with the ones who it works with.
  • Nov 4, 2016, 12:58 PM
    Hiwatari_yuki
    Thank you all I feel better now that I know what's got to be done. Yes! I do understand now that I must be happy with myself... I guess hating myself would make me hate others too right? I perfectly get it now and I will try my best to make new friends while also trying to keep my old ones. I am really grateful, thanks a lot

    Thank you all I feel better now that I know what's got to be done. Yes! I do understand now that I must be happy with myself... I guess hating myself would make me hate others too right? I perfectly get it now and I will try my best to make new friends while also trying to keep my old ones. I am really grateful, thanks a lot

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