I got dumped 5 weeks ago and was still in contact with my ex trying to work it out. She would come over and we would kiss and she would say om making her decision so hard. On easter Friday we had sex but she said we were still on the break. Sometimes I was ringingher and she still talks dirty on the phone last time I spoke to her last Saturday night she said have you got a hard and I said maybe and she said well I've got hard oobs if that helps you out. Im 28 she is 22 we were together for 3 1/2 years I want her back so bad I wish I hadof gone nc straight away she may have come bck by now do you think it is to late now for nc or should I just not speak to her again from now and hope. Our last time we saw each other I was at her house and she said to come to church with her, I then rang her that night and that's when she spoke sexually on the phone and I said I had a good night tonight but since we are on the break imjust not sure and she said well it was a it of a couple thing and I said do you like that and she said well its OK sometimes and I wouldn't of said to come to the church if I didn't want to. At times I think she's ust happy to have me around so she feels better and not all alone I am going no contact now and it may be too late kicking myself, I think this may be the best way to get her back. The first week she said I have missed you a bit at night bt habvent called cause we re on a break. I feel if I'm not in contact with her she may miss me but feel she's had a month to prety much get over me now and I think se slowly is. But she did say come to te church ad that was a couple thing and she spoke dirtyon the phone maybe se just likes to know I'm still there so confsed...

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Originally Posted by mckenzie134

I got dumped 5 weeks ago and was still in contact with my ex trying to work it out. she would come over and we would kiss and she would say om making her decision so hard. On easter friday we had sex but she said we were still on the break. Sometimes i was ringingher and she still talks dirty on the phone last time i spoke to her last saturday night she said have you got a hard and i said maybe and she said well ive got hard oobs if that helps you out. Im 28 she is 22 we were together for 3 1/2 years i want her back so bad i wish i hadof gone nc straight away she may have come bck by now do you think it is to late now for nc or should i just not speak to her again from now and hope. our last time we saw each other i was at her house and she said to come to church with her, i then rang her that night and thats when she spoke sexually on the phone and i said i had a good night tonite but since we are on the break imjust not sure and she said well it was a it of a couple thing and i said do you like that and she said well its ok sometimes and i wouldnt of said to come tothe church if i didnt want to. At times i think shes ust happy to have me around so she feels better and not all alone i am going no contact now and it may be too late kicking myself, I think this may be the best way to get her back. The first week she said i have missed you a bit at night bt habvent called cause we re on a break. I feel if im not in contact with her she may miss me but feel shes had a month to prety much get over me now and i think se slowly is. But she did say come to te curch ad that was a couple thing and she spoke dirtyon the phone maybe se just likes to know im still there so confsed...

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Please re read what you wrote?
You know why I wrote it and it sounds to me that the most important thing to her is to get some sex. As long as she has that she is happy.
Your not really on a break if you keep seeing her and having sex with her.
A break is no contact, set time to be a part. That is it in a nutshell.
So it is eighter a break or not a break. Either you want the relationship or you do not. You need to ask her of this.
There should be no confusion. It is very simple. It is a break and she needs to know that the break is a series thing. There is no guarantee after a break everybody will be back together eighter.

Joe

Until you figure out what you want, you will fall for anything, and you are. As long as you to are talking, then you will be confused. Disappear from her life, and get your head together, and figure what it is you want.

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Please re read what you wrote?
You know why I wrote it and it sounds to me that the most important thing to her is to get some sex. As long as she has that she is happy.
Your not really on a break if you keep seeing her and having sex with her.
A break is no contact, set time to be a part. That is it in a nutshell.
So it is eighter a break or not a break. Either you want the relationship or you do not. You need to ask her of this.
There should be no confusion. It is very simple. It is a break and she needs to know that the break is a series thing. There is no guarantee after a break everybody will be back together eighter.

Joe

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Yes you are right thanks I think se wants the break but ivebeen contacting her and se feels she has to talk to me cause she doesn't want me to be hurt and feels bad. NC straight away should have been the go one month of bugging her may have blown it. Although she still wants to talk but says its up to me she doesn't want to totally not speak but just is happy on her own...

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Originally Posted by mckenzie134

Yes you are right thanks i think se wants the break but ivebeen contacting her and se feels she has to talk to me cause she doesnt want me to be hurt and feels bad. NC straight away should have been the go one month of bugging her may have blown it. Although she still wants to talk but says its up to me she doesnt want to totally not speak but just is happy on her own...

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But she can't expect you to just half be there, half not..

Either she wants you or she doesn't. She is happy on her own? Then give that to her.

No Contact.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Until you figure out what you want, you will fall for anything, and you are. As long as you to are talking, then you will be confused. Disappear from her life, and get your head together, and figure what it is you want.

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I know what I want thanks for the reply. O want to be back with her I loveher. I just know that I need to do more in my life and not give her as much time and let her want to chase and think about me. Im just mad I didn't continue this cause it worked so well for 2 years but then I became to close asked to many questions wanted to know what was going on instead of the old me who just went with we will see how we go. But cause I was getting older I kind of wanted too know what direction we were heading in but that kind of pushed her away and I guess maybe if I want to know where we are heading I just hae to keep er keen and we will be staying together isthat right?? What if you want to know if she's thinking we are staying together do I justget her real keen and listen forany signs she says?? Asking makes you look needy and that's what it kind of looked, she is finishing uni this year and would say things to people like I might be moving next year and that left me wondering why was I sticking around if she's leaving,I questioned her and she said you could move, well I don't think that helps cause that's like she thinks ill move and she's got me, that slowly pushed er away but I wanted to know where I stood. Im guessing I went the wrong way about it and came across as needyyy when I should have let it go and got her keener on me so she would stay.

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

But she can't expect you to just half be there, half not..

Either she wants you or she doesn't. She is happy on her own? Then give that to her.

No Contact.

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Thanks I will give er that from now she saidshe is happy but she still likes to come when I call her but I will stopthat now she doesn't have a lot of friends so maybe better if I just leave her sit at home with her grandma on her own. She probably likes to come see me cause t keeps her in contactand she feels better. I will go nc started that today I hope she comes back I really do love her andshe is really nice its just she doesn't believe she knows ifits love or not and as I've said she says she needs to feel it all the tim,, Thanks for the ansewr...

In your case I would be inclined to suggest that giving her space would be the best thing and would give her the opportunity to decide what she wants. Space could be months but don't waste time waiting for her, get busy living!

Space for sure!
For you and for her start thinking about yourself as well and making you happy and go out and enjoy yourself. You will find it hard if you have sat there going over things so much that you have made everything negative.
She don't have many friends and maybe that's what she is needing at the moment can you give her that but make sure you hold yourself back before you keep getting hurt.
Can you sit and listen to her problems and find out where her head is at that might help you understand the situation more.

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

In your case I would be inclined to suggest that giving her space would be the best thing and would give her the opportunity to decide what she wants. Space could be months but don't waste time waiting for her, get busy living!!

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Cheers thanks for the advice she did mention months at one stage I told her I couldn't wait and she said I don't expect you to wait! I said I would give her some time and she said she appreciated that but its been a month and we are still going round in circles... I think your correct a real break without messages may give me some hope or at least she will know I'm not around. I don't like not replying to her messages but I suppose I can't just be here for her cause she has already hurt me amd given me the flick. I should have kept her keener but to do that I felt like it was hurting her cause she always wanted to ta;k at night and when I didn't answer she wanted me more but I didn't want to put her in that situation but now I think dam I should have not worried and made her feel sick in the chest like me ondering... cheers geoff

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Until you figure out what you want, you will fall for anything, and you are. As long as you to are talking, then you will be confused. Disappear from her life, and get your head together, and figure what it is you want.

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Agree with your answer. I know where I went wrong I was just to available for her and did not keep her missing me enough. Just liked her too much. Not a good ides as I know you've told me. But I was just being good to her. She hasn't got a lot of friends or a lot to do but then again for the first bit of our relationship I just said well if she hasn't got a lot of friends she will have to sit home and miss me...

I'm in my 4th day of no contact. Broke up with my girlfriend 1 month ago and bugged her for a while and then gave up. Have posted here before my story. Anyway I have decided nc is the only option I have left. Problem is I started that on Sunday it is now Wednesday but the problem is my sister is having a barbecue on Friday and she has invited my ex what should I be doing. Ive been told to go nc and my ex is going to be there should I tell my sister I'm not coming. If I do this my sister will say no way and will tell my ex not to come. Im not sure what I should do if I'm in nc that's going to ruin that. Im trying to stay away from her cause in the past when she misses you more she is a lot keener she does not have a lot of friends, but my sisters barbecue has ome up at this difficult time and cause my ex said we were on a break my sister still invted her.

Go and ignore her. Or better yet find someone there to flirt with.

Do you know she is coming, and how big of a barbecue is this going to be? I would go regardless, and have a great time, and even make the ex feel welcome and comfortable. No Contact does not mean be anti social.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Do you know she is coming, and how big of a barbeque is this going to be? I would go regardless, and have a great time, and even make the ex feel welcome and comfortable. No Contact does not mean be anti social.

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I do know she is going to be going and she may even ring me to get a lift as she does not really know many people excet for me and my sister and one of my sisters friends. I waqs in nc and this will stuff that but maybe it will help me out, she might have a great time and realise we have a lot of fun together and she has been missing out. Im not sure I think I will just go and take it easy. I don't believe things like this bring your ex back antway they need to feel they miss you a barbecue can not do much for you or what do you think?

Its an event that throws you both together at a social event. Have your fun. Don't expect much and leave all the baggage at home. She's probably as scared as you are, if not more. Have a great time with every one. Just me though, as back in the day I was a party animal and a bar-b-que? To hell with exes rock the house down. You are in your element , you know everyone there.

She's playing you player.learn to play or move on GODbless