I would also like to inquire about the fact that I have never had an orgasm with my husband. We have been married for ten years, but have been together for 12 years. I am unable to orgasm with him through oral sex, manual stimulation, or intercourse. I do not have any problem having an orgasm on my own. I have been faking it with him for twelve years. Could it be that he isn't any good, or could it be physical or psychological on my part? :confused:

Do you have problems excepting yourself? For example do you feel overweight? Not being rude of course! Woman to woman! Also a lot of women can give themselves orgasms because you know how to touch yourself!

I don't feel overweight or anything.. I only weigh like 105. Of course I have hangups about my body, but all of us gals do, right? I know how to please myself, and am very comfortable with my sexuality. I think maybe I am just not comfortable with [I]him.[I] You can't trust someone in that way and connect with them sexually , when they call you a and a whore, white trash, etc.. And degrade you all the time. I just can't let go with him. I know life was not meant to be this way!!

Wait. He calls you a whore and white trash? Hmm that is prob the problem.. Have you talked to him about that?

Yeah. I have talked to him about this-and told him I was going to leave him if he didn't show me some respect. It has been the same stuff for ten years. Nothing ever changes. It seems like things will be good for a while, then they just circle back around again. It is hard to trust him.

Hey teachermama,
As a poster from your older threads, I think that his abuse probably plays a big role. Your trust for him has been hurt and that carries over to the bedroom as well. Since you can achieve orgasm by yourself, I think that it is probably a combination of him not doing the right things and your mental state during sex.
And you're not alone about faking. :)

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Originally Posted by teachermama3

I would also like to inquire about the fact that I have never had an orgasm with my husband. We have been married for ten years, but have been together for 12 years. I am unable to orgasm with him through oral sex, manual stimulation, or intercourse. I do not have any problem having an orgasm on my own. I have been faking it with him for twelve years. Could it be that he isn't any good, or could it be physical or psychological on my part? :confused:

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Why don't you just use one of those little bullet vibrators while having sex with him and then you can have an assist orgasm...
Which are sometime's better than regular orgasms. I just started having orgasms with men when I met my husband so I just think it depends on technique...

Sex is not your issue. Your man is a disgusting selfish person. No wonder you don't climax with him-it's blatantly obvious, you deserve better than to be called horrible negative, belittling names as he calls you.

If you wish to stay with him-don't even bother faking it-one day he may wake-up, although I doubt it. Pleasure yourself as often as you need it, because until he (if he ever does) wakes up, you are going to tire yourself out with the faking business.

You need to gain and demand respect for yourself.

Love yourself first then see about him-if you can be bothered.
Best wishes.