Basically me and him met in college, which I am currently a sophomore at, and hit it off from there. After a bumpy start we were in a relationship and have been for about a year and a half. However, last summer he broke up with me and had sex with someone we both knew. Then later got in another relationship the SAME week and having sex with her. He ended up contracting chlamydia and passing it to me, but we got treated together. He then cheated on me with the girl we both knew last September. I broke up with him after that and was deeply hurt but he reassured me that it had happened weeks ago and that he only wanted me. Reluctantly, after a about a month I agreed to start fresh in our relationship. Fast forward to a month ago, my boyfriend confesses in a library while crying that he had sex with a girl during our breakup after he cheated and that she's ******* PREGNANT. And He knew a month before he told me. He barely knows her, he didn't use a condom, and he gave her chlamydia too! He swears he doesn't like her and that he's not even attracted to the girl (who he met in high school but didn't really know that well) but just wanted to "get over me"Now I'm ****** because I thought I would be carrying his first child and I don't want to be a step mom, this complicates things x100. He said they both didn't plan on it and were shocked that it even happened... in her car no less... real classy. He plans to be there financially but doesn't want to be there for the birth and only wants limited contact with the mother and insists on marrying me and starting a family with me which is what he wants. I used to want all of that but now things have been changed... drastically. Help?

He should have used a condom, or thought about that before. Sex often results in pregnancy.. . now he WILL be paying a major chunk of everything he earns for the next 18-21 years. It doesn't matter if he's married to someone else or has any other kids either...

What sort of help do you expect. He made his bed and now he has to sleep in it.

Just think, he might be handing by court order half or nearly half of everything he makes for years to come. Try living on whats left.....how exactly do you expect to pay for a family...I doubt he could afford to rent his own place now..and its going to be significantly harder after he gets sued for child support...and probably for a major chunk of her medical expenses before the child is born.

What he wants really has nothing to do with anything. His legal obligations to THAT child are legally more important than to any you have together.

SO you say..I'll get a job. well do you think you can work until the day you give birth? I doubt it. You aren't going to be able to work for some time afterwards either...and even if you do...have you tried to find out what child care costs every month. Many mothers find its almost as much or more than they make every month.

Time you wake up and smell the roses....living in the projects or a trail park because that's all you can afford isn't pleasant or desirable.

He breaks up with you, goes whoring around, then cheats on you, then gets another girl pregnant, gives you chlamydia, and another girl too, and you're confused about this relationship?

Seriously?

He's sorry because he got caught. If she hadn't gotten pregnant you never would have known about her at all. And you, really classy. He uses this poor girl for sex to get over you? Bull! He used her for sex because he wanted sex, and damn right he was attracted to her! He had sex with her! He's just a little horn dog that can't keep it in his pants.

You should have never gotten back together with him, he's nothing but drama, and this child will always be in his life, as will the girl he got pregnant. That's how it should be! It's not her fault, and it's not the babies fault, that he's a whore.

Dump his a$$. You'll thank me later.

' I used to want all of that but now things have been changed..'

See? Like many people, you answered your own question in the last sentence.

Here's the first line of a song I wrote: "I'm in love with a memory that never was you." Feel free to write the rest yourself.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

' I used to want all of that but now things have been changed..'

See? Like many people, you answered your own question in the last sentence.

Here's the first line of a song I wrote: "I'm in love with a memory that never was you." Feel free to write the rest yourself.

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Perfect reply. Would make a good country song after you add, Beer, Pickup trucks and maybe prison. Oh wait, that was Waylon Jennings!

Help with what? He went on a sex spree, cheated on you and gave you an STD. What is there to think about?
Dump him.

First, it would be wise of him to take a paternity test once baby is born to find out for certain if he is in fact the father. They didn't know each other well, used no protection, and had sex where convenient... there's the possibility of someone else being the father. He needs to make sure.

Next, how many chances are you willing to give him? What becomes a deal breaker for you? I've said this to others in your situation... What would you tell your sister or best friend if they shared the same story with you?

You bet things have changed and how much more evidence do you need to figure out he ain't a loyal trustworthy responsible partner?

There should be no confusion about that. Expect more of the same if you keep him around.

RUN while you can or suffer the consequences... like his other victims.

Count your luck stars that all you have to remember him for is, he gave you a STD.
Move on Sister, he is a loser, and be glad you are not also pregnant.

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Originally Posted by ma0641

Perfect reply. Would make a good country song after you add, Beer, Pickup trucks and maybe prison. Oh wait, that was Waylon Jennings!

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Damn, thought it was original

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Originally Posted by joypulv

Damn, thought it was original

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Actually I think it was David Allan Coe. "You don't call me darling"... He was kidding that the song he wrote wasn't country enough so he added this last verse. You Tube "You don't call me darling", it is at the end

Well I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison
And I went to pick her up in the rain
But before I could get to the station in the pick-up truck
She got runned over by a damned old train.

It IS original! You can't have it. I've been working on the first verse for about 25 years.