I am a postdoctural scientist. I am my fourth year of postdoc work at my third university. I have recently moved abroad from my country of origin. This move has caused a lot of upheaval and my husband is currently still 'at home.' I am currently trying to decide if this career is worth dragging him around the world for.

I do love the work, the travel and the people. The freedom at work I have is fantastic, I enjoy being able to set my own agenda and follow whatever happens to interest me. I enjoy writing and have been told I have a talent for it. Also, to my own surprise, I relish teaching and interacting with students. However, although I have a handful of publications and more on the way, I currently have no independent funding. It is hard to judge if I 'have what it takes'. I worry I might have already missed important milestones for having an academic career and that I cannot sustain the energy required for the number of hours needed.

I worry I am making a mistake asking my husband to move out here. I have already taken him away from his home town and now I am asking him to leave his first real job. I find it difficult to talk to him about this as he does not react well to indecision.

I am also scared to leave this path, the one I have doggedly followed this far for the unknown. I have many talents and skills so I believe I could transition to another career. Whether I could find it in my husbands current location I don't know.

I need to make a decision soon, we cannot sustain living apart (emotionally or financially). Any advice on how to decide?

How much school do you have left?

I'm finished with school, I graduated from my PhD 3.5 years ago. Postdocs are jobs, just not secure ones, they rely often on fixed term contracts and your supervisor getting grants to pay you. My current position I have been told can have funding for 3 years, although I am free to leave at any time.

I have been applying for fellowships but haven't had any success yet. My latest feedback didn't dismiss me as too weak a researcher, so that's some progress. My supervisor thinks that I do have potential, although there is so much luck required these days. Last I heard only 3.5% of PhD graduates get permanent academic positions, although how many are pushed and how many jump I don't know!

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Originally Posted by Valpollicello

I'm finished with school, I graduated from my PhD 3.5 years ago. Postdocs are jobs, just not secure ones, they rely often on fixed term contracts and your supervisor getting grants to pay you. My current position I have been told can have funding for 3 years, although I am free to leave at any time.

I have been applying for fellowships but haven't had any success yet. My latest feedback didn't dismiss me as too weak a researcher, so that's some progress. My supervisor thinks that I do have potential, although there is so much luck required these days. Last I heard only 3.5% of PhD graduates get permanent academic positions, although how many are pushed and how many jump I don't know!

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Thanks for the explanation! What are the specifics of your PhD? Where is "home"?

Where is 'home' argh hard question! For the purpose of this it's where my husband currently is (I don't want to dox myself). Although we met at uni in another country to that and I have lived in many different places, I'm a bit of a nomad. The moving around doesn't phase me at all, but my husband really hates it. We thought long distance might work but it has been hell, my life has no colour without him and I believe he feels the same without me. We have been together for over a decade and in a strange way the distance has been good, it made me realise how I had been taking him being there for granted.

My field of research is in biophysics/biochemistry so I am in a life sciences medically associated area. I also have some experience in computer science. So my other career options could be software engineer (with a little retraining), medical communications, any sort of management role, industry (working for a pharma company) or if I went crazy perhaps dentistry (high risk, high reward strategy). Roles I am not keen on but would be possible are high school teacher and medical doctor.

I do have a lot of options, but I also fear unemployment. The recession hit just as I graduated from uni and I know many talented people who have ended up un- or under-employed.

The 'home' city is medium sized with three universities, some industry and within commuting distance to another major city. We currently own a lovely apartment there (bit of a mistake in retrospect that). Typical wages are good vs the cost of living so the standard of life is good there. It is somewhere I feel I could live permanently, although we have no real roots (close friends or family).

You have an amazing educational background. If I were you, I'd work at "home" in a research situation or even teach secondary school or elementary school or at a teaching hospital or in a corporate setting until what you really want opens up. You will probably have to do something not at the top of your list just to get your foot in the door, make connections, and figure out what you really love.

I wove together threads in teaching, library work, psychology, and writing -- and made a lovely tapestry. You can do that, too, with your education and skills.

How about private school teaching (if that's what you call schools not paid with tax dollars)? I live in the northeast US, where many of the most famous ones are.
It would be less stressful, I think, and you could spend a few years around your husband, getting to see how you have each evolved, and really communicating in tiny moments here and there about your futures alone and together.
It keeps you around academia and somewhat around all the exciting changes in your field.

The teaching at PhD level is tough, as you know most schools today do not hire full time for many positions. And finding funding for projects is even harder. I am working at a school in China, funded by a University in Holland. So basically two sets of bosses both with very different agenda. But never tenure, never full Professor, and it is a year to year contract.

The issue is, what is the family dream, not just yours, not just his,
Maybe he is happy with traveling the world, while you are young, and doing other work, following you.

In a marriage it takes two to build a life you both enjoy, and it seems during this uncertainty you bring your partner into the mix of decision making. If nothing else for stability while you work through this. After all he has supported you for a decade, so at least find out what he wants, and how you can put your heads together to be together, and enjoy a life together.

Betting he has friends at home even if you don't. It's an intriguing challenge to balance a marriage and an ambitious career(s), but no reason it can't be a rewarding one. Honest communications are your keys here I think, so no need to assume when you can get facts by merely expressing your hopes and dreams and fears to your husband, as you plot a course for your futures.