In a Relationship, but its Complicated...
Hi.
So recently, I moved from Oklahoma to Colorado (2 months ago). I went from living on my own as an 18 year old working three jobs in high school, to living with my father and his family. Now I am not working, continuing high school, and am emotionally wrecked as of this moment.
Allow me to explain.
In my high school career, I was known to be a "player". I didn't try to be; I always strive to be a gentleman and treat girls with respect. But any relationship that I started only seemed to last about two months or so before ending abruptly. The longest relationship I have had was about six months and ended because I developed severe depression after one of my best friends committed suicide. We both knew that I wasn't capable of having a healthy relationship, so we ended it.
All told, I had dated 11 girls while living in Oklahoma. I do not know why I dated so much, but soon after breaking up, I would start finding other girls attractive and flirting, which led to more dating.
Fast forward to Colorado. Not three weeks after I had arrived at my new school, I started dating a girl. We had met two weeks before and she was a freshman while I am a senior. We dated for three weeks before I ended it. Now, three weeks later, I am dating my current girlfriend. And here is where my dilemma comes in to play.I have always been a very touchy-feely person; I like to hold hands, cuddle, kiss, etc... My current girlfriend has never really been in a relationship before, so I don't know if it is because of that, but she seems very distant all the time. Granted, there are times when she seems happy to be around me, but most of the time it is like I am the only one in the relationship. We just started dating, and I realize that she is new to this and it might take her time to grow comfortable with showing affection, but I feel like I am crowding her while at the same time not getting what I want out of the relationship (which is to feel wanted by someone else). I want to feel a real connection with someone. But I really care about this girl; she is beautiful, nice, extremely smart, and witty.
I am a sucker for romance movies and I want to feel that unconditional love for someone (yes I know that is cheesy and made up for the movie, but I know people who have that and I am extremely envious of them).
So, there are two questions:
1. Should I continue with this relationship in the hope that she will learn to show affection, or should I end it while it's a relatively new relationship?
2. Why do I always seem to have to have a girlfriend? I want to be independent, but when I am single I feel so lonely. But at the same time, when I am in a relationship, I can't keep it together longer than a month or two...
Any advice is welcome, just please don't rip my head off. ;)
Thanks,
Chase.