Hi,

I have a 3 1/2 year old fixed male golden retriever. My problem is he is become increasing dominant aggressive with my and my teen boys. (Never with my husband though). He will take things (usually a remote or phone) and run behind a bed, couch, TV etc. When I reach in to try to get the thing out of his mouth he growls really bad and now snaps. He has progressed from lighlty growling to now showing all of his teeth and snapping. He really is scaring me! It's very difficult in that it's usually just an arm and hand that can reach him when he is behind something so that gives me a definite disadvantage! He's never actually bitten me but he has hurt me. When he snaps it's usually when I have pulled the item out of his mouth and he is trying to get it back. My hand has gotten in the way a couple of times and he's really hurt me. As soon as I have a full hold of the item his attitude changes and he licks my hand like crazy - like he never was being bad at all. If he does hurt me (and he has) and the few times that I've started crying he starts licking me like crazy and gives the item up right after that. When we aren't involved in this "situation" he is incredibly sweet. Loves to cuddle. People costantly tell me that have never met such a sweet dog. I'm afraid this situation is just going to escalate and someone is really going to get hurt. Any advice would greatly be appreciated. I have to emphasize this is the only time he acts out. He can eat something from his bowl and I could pull it away or pull a treat out of his mouth and he never cares. It's just when he's hiding behind something and I'm trying to get something away from him.
Thanks!
Mary:confused:

You are right, this situation will escalate and someone will get hurt. Your first sentences tells me immediately what the problem is. You and your children have not asserted your dominance/leadership position with your dog. He recognizes your husband as the alpha. You and your teens need to do the same thing. Dogs are social animals and live in packs. You and your family are his "pack." He views you and your kids as being on his level in that pack. Not a good thing. All of you need to work with him to get him to recognize that he is at the bottom of the pack. It is the only way you will curb this escalating aggression towards you.

labman has information in his sticky at that top of this forum. Please read through it fully and review his suggested reading list. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dogs/i...tml#post251804 Although it seems to be missing from his list, The Monks of New Skete covers this topic very well and we both recommend their book.
Raising Your Dog with the Monks of New Skete

If you cannot afford to find a good trainer in your area, who can guide you all on how to assert yourselves with your dog, you need to find a guidebook, such as the one suggested above, to help you with this problem. Please do this as soon as possible. Your dog needs all of you to help him find his proper place in your pack.

I am sure labman will stop by at some point to add to this thread.

Ruby and I are on the same page as often as any 2 knowledgeable people ever are.
Not that we never disagree.

It is very common for problems to develop around that age as the dog matures. Many dog guides have to be replaced around the that age because they want to take over.

There isn't a lot in my stickies on this issue. Adding more is on my round tuit. Part of the problem may be an attempt to get attention. Even so, demanding attention is one form of aggression. Do you give him a belly rub when he comes and sprawls on his back? There is a big difference between him rolling over and demanding a belly rub, and you choosing a time to roll him over and rub his belly. The latter cements your place as pack leader.

The key to most behavior problems is approaching things using the dog's natural instincts. Dogs see all the people and dogs in the household as a pack with each having their own rank in the pack and a top dog. Life is much easier if the 2 legged pack members outrank the 4 legged ones. You can learn to play the role of top dog by reading some books or going to a good obedience class. A good obedience class or book is about you being top dog, not about rewarding standard commands with a treat. For more on being top dog, see Establishing and Keeping Alpha Position There is a link to a page on dogs and children there too.

Perhaps rather than take the object away from him, make eye contact with him and tell him ''Drop!'' in a quiet, firm voice. Do not repeat it, but silently hold eye contact. The first one to look away loses.

Neutering usually reduces such problems, but as in this case, it is no cure all.