Ask Me Help Desk - How can I tell her?

How can I tell her?

Me friends at school gave me some stuff to look after for her, I didn't really want to have to look after anything but she's me boyfriends sister so I kind of felt like I didn't have much choice. I've been looking after her things for a while now and am kind of nervous if me da was to find out it wouldn't be good. I've tried to give her stuff back but she makes me feel guilty every time I try to give her stuff back. I don't know what to do I kind of feel very stuck on what to do! I don't want me da to be involved I just want her to take her stuff back. Any suggestions on what to do? How can I tell her?

When you say stuff, do you mean "drug stuff"?

Does it really matter what it is don't want to sound rude so sorry if I do but I just don't want to look after her stuff but I don't want to upset anyone either.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thinkaboutit

Does it really matter what it is don't want to sound rude so sorry if I do but I just don't want to look after her stuff but I don't want to upset anyone either.

Well, don't be rude "Rudey". Give her, her STUFF back period.

With your history, yes, it matters.

What are you "looking after?"

You need to "thinkaboutit". Looking at all your posts, you go from 1 issue to another-I know I'm probably wrong cause I always am but...

Quote:

Originally Posted by ma0641

You need to "thinkaboutit". Looking at all your posts, you go from 1 issue to another-I know I'm probably wrong cause I always am but...

I am glad you said it because if I had said it, I would have been in big trouble on here.

Think, if this is something that your father would get upset about, then tell her she either takes it back or you are throwing it away. Be firm.

You need to stand up for yourself. You should not risk getting yourself in trouble to keep her out of it. She is making you hold her stuff because she would get in trouble for it, isn't she? Time for her to take her own risks.

Maybe her brother would like to hold it for her?

Yes it does matter, because if it is something that would upset your da, then it is something you shouldn't have in your possession. You need to think of yourself, not someone who would put you at risk to hide stuff for her. On the other hand if it was just some clothes or something equally innocuous, then our response might be different. So it does matter what the "stuff" is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ma0641

You need to "thinkaboutit". Looking at all your posts, you go from 1 issue to another-I know I'm probably wrong cause I always am but...

Yeah I know I have issues but I thought I've getting better I've been staying out of trouble and trying to improve me relationship with me family.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

With your history, yes, it matters.

What are you "looking after?"

It's drugs some money and a phone I know I shouldn't be holding it for her and it does make me feel horrible having it I'm scared if me da finds it then it will ruin everything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Think, if this is something that your father would get upset about, then tell her she either takes it back or you are throwing it away. Be firm.

You need to stand up for yourself. You should not risk getting yourself in trouble to keep her out of it. She is making you hold her stuff because she would get in trouble for it, isn't she? Time for her to take her own risks.

Maybe her brother would like to hold it for her?

I know your right I should just tell her to take it back, I have tried already she just makes me feel guilty then I give in. I don't want to make her get angry and tell her brother. But I don't want me da to find out either I feel very torn.

Why would you feel guilty when you ask her (TELL her!!!!) to take it back?

Why not tell her brother?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Why would you feel guilty?

Why not tell her brother?

I feel guilty cause of what she says to me " If you were me real friend you would hold it for me you know if I get caught I go to Juvie this time" "you just pretend to be me friend to make me brother like you" and heaps more but I won't write it all.
So I feel guilty I do like her but I don't want to be like really friends if it wasn't for her brother I would stay away from her. But he asked me to hang out with her at school so I am. I'm not even sure if he knows probably not I don't know if he will get mad at me. She is really good at twisting things so I'm a little scared of her

I really just want to ditch the whole lot of it I don't like holding it I don't want to be around any drugs at all feels like its constantly in me face

It IS constantly in your face! And if you are caught, guess who gets in trouble???? (Hint: it won't be her.) Get a spine and dump it all back in her lap!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thinkaboutit

I feel guilty cause of what she says to me " If you were me real friend you would hold it for me you know if I get caught I go to Juvie this time" "

If she were really your friend she would not ask you to risk getting caught with that stuff! What she said was being manipulative and laying a guilt trip on you. Obviously she isn't your friend and is just using you.

I am willing to bet that if you get caught with the "stuff" you are going to be the one who is going to "Juvie" as you call it. As a side bet, I will also bet you friend will not step up and help you by saying that it is her stuff. Also, you are taking a chance that your da will be just as happy as can be when he finds out you got caught with "stuff". Bottom line you will be back at square one with your family. Take that to the Bank.

Tell her to take her stuff back. She is not a friend. Friends don't do that to each other.

If she was a friend, which she obviously isn't, she wouldn't ask you to do something that will get you in to trouble if you get caught with it.

Think of your own well being for a change. You know it's wrong, so either dump the drugs, or give them back to her.....personally, i would get rid of them; not worth the chance of being caught with them. Put the money and phone into a bag and just hand it back to her. Ignore her whinging about being a friend and just walk away. The last thing you need are friends like that.

If your boyfriend has a problem with you not being friends with her, think carefully about whether his behavior and attitude helps you or hurts you.

You need people in your life who help you move in the right direction to make positive choices.....not people who lead you astray, and potentially lead you to more trouble.

How can I tell her?

"Here's your stuff, go find another chump!". Walk away and have a good day! K.I.S..

Thanks I guess it's pretty simple I don't want to hold the stuff and I don't want me da to find out either or get caught with it. I am trying really hard to move away from how I was in the past and if me da finds out I really don't think I'd get another chance he would just send me away. I was just to worried that she would say bad stuff about me to her brother. When I think about it he's just a boy me da will always be me da I'd rather not mess up our relationship over something so stupid. Just have to tell her she needs to get it or ill get rid of it. Thanks for helping me see how stupid I've been and what I'm risking just for some girl I don't even like

IF it is drug things, and you already tried to give it back, I just toss it out, sorry but drug things need to be gone, not given to anyone.