I'm going through a divorce and have 2 adopted children that we adopted together through the state foster system. I have the children living with me and we have received a monthly adoption subsidy for them. I've asked for child support to help me with the expenses and just to live. I have cancer and I'm unable to work right now and we where forced to move out if our home because he left for another women and her kids stopped paying any bills or helping us with any thing and the house is getting foreclosed upon and he left us the night I was released from the hospital after having my first surgery. I have had a second one but have 3 more I still must complete this year. My question is this my soon to be ex-husband believes that because we received adoption assistance from the state that he is not required to pay child support but is allowing me to keep the financial assistance and that should be considered child support.

If you both adopted those children.. legally they are the same as having had them yourselves. Meaning he is now their legal father and would be on the hook for child support payments.

So do not waste any time going after him for child support. He should be on the hook for alimony payments as well once the divorce is final.



edit: And best wishes for you with your Cancer therapy.

You need a divorce attorney. And you need to stop listening to the ex. Guess what they lie and guess what, normally they don't know the law.

If the adoption is complete, they are your and his children, just like you had given birth,
The amount you receive from the state may be applied as an adjustment and considered income for you, when the judge figures child support, but he will be ordered to pay child support, The amount will depend on many factors.

So you also need to apply for alimony, esp if his income is much higher than yours, and perhaps, requirement that he keeps your health insurance, if you were under his plan, due to current illnesses.

You as noted, need to contact and hire a local attorney

As noted, adopted children are legally your (and his responsibility).

You said you are "going thru a divorce". What is the status of it? Have you filed in court? Do you have an attorney?

Under your circumstances, you should be asking the court for temporary support. You should be covered under his health insurance policy for your medical care. He should be required by the court to continue paying the house mortgage.

I don't understand "her kids stopped paying any bills". What do her kids have to do with this. For that matter what does she have to do with it. The divorce court should be requiring him to continue to provide for you and your children.

I have a lawyer and we put in a motion for temporary child support and got it but his lawyer and he put in a motion to amend stop it on grounds that the $1380 adoption subsidy the kids receive was not disclosed to the court (that is not true but in any case they made it appear that way) the judge ruled that he did not have to pay in lieu of giving me the $1380 and I said it's not his to give and we did not include that in his income when asking for support. But they said the $1380 was more then the $872 she had ordered and I had to move with the kids and with no help and rent trucks and hire help pay deposits and well everything not received anything from him not a penny. He walked out stop paying bills for me and the kids the very night I got out of the hospital and he took the money he was paying on bills and our house and moved his girlfriend and her 2 kids into a bigger home for them to live in and spent the money on her and her kids that was our bill money and living expense money. He also took out 2 401k loans to ensure I wouldn't get anything and so he wasn't still paying into them.
So basically my lawyer now is like we'll go after him for alimony since he doesn't have to support our kids since they get some money from the state that we already got and still couldn't make it and I was working then and making some money. (Currently I'm not and can't and I borrowed $7000 from my Mom $2k was for my lawyer and rented a place and paid deposits and now I'm out of that money and he just walks away and has nothing to pay or no responxibiltitys to our kids and I'm responsible for them and he gets them 3 weekends a month and of course he can take them and do things and but them stuff as he has no support to pay but I'm running them to therapy and trying to keep food on the table and roof over there head while battling cancer!

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

As noted, adopted children are legally your (and his responsibility).

You said you are "going thru a divorce". What is the status of it? Have you filed in court? Do you have an attorney?

Under your circumstances, you should be asking the court for temporary support. You should be covered under his health insurance policy for your medical care. He should be required by the court to continue paying the house mortgage.

I don't understand "her kids stopped paying any bills". What do her kids have to do with this. For that matter what does she have to do with it. The divorce court should be requiring him to continue to provide for you and your children.

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This is the seamy side of divorce. I'm really surprised the judge acted the way she did, but I suspect its because you didn't mention the $1380. Even though not mentioning it is not the same as hiding it, you are almost always better off disclosing everything but judges don't like, even the perception, that you are hiding anything.

He is going to dodge paying as much as he can. Your attorney also needs to file a QDRO on the 401(k) because you are entitled to a share of it. I suspect, that, in the long run, he will be required to pay, but that doesn't help you in the short run. Work with your attorney is the best advice I can give.

Here is the thing. There should have been finincial statements from both parties before moving forward to determine child support. Now your stuck until you can be granted a modification. If he is not paying back 401k loans then he will have to claim it as income. When he does then he will be stuck with paying a higher amount of child supprot. Your lawyer needs to move on this right away and find out the status of any loans. Alimony can be good and bad. Alimony is good in that you can get some extra funds. But you will also have to claim it as income and he can claim it as a deduction. Child support is non-deductable. Also you dont have to claim it as income. The monies that you are curently getting from the state shouldnt be used against you as far as income (personal) but can be used against you as far as household income. Im not sure who dropped the ball where but this whole issue needs to be revisited. Those monies shouldnt be considered child support in any way.