The Problem With Fast Food
The big problem with "fast" food is that it slows down when it hits your stomach. And it just parks there--and lets the fat have time to get off and apply for citizenship.
Custom Software
My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software usually came as source code and was executed through an interpreter. He started a small business selling his custom software.
One day at a scientific meeting, he noticed another company was showing the software with 'remarkably' similar functionality as his own. He wandered over to watch the demo and the longer he watched, the more familiar it looked.
Eventually, when the sales gerbil had gathered a good crowd, he asked in a rather loud voice, "Are you using my copyrighted copy for this?"
"Of course not!" the sales gerbil replied.
"So, what happens if you press [key combination]?"
"Nothing."
"Well, humor me. Do it for me."
"Ok, sir, but I can assure it you does.. . " and upon pressing the keys.. . the large screen popped up my boss' copyright notice.
It was widely accepted as the biggest laugh of the show.
Running Away
A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, "I'm running away from home!"
The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. "What if you get hungry?," he said.
"Then I'll come home and eat!," bravely declared the child.
"And what if you run out of money?"And what if you run out of money?"I will come home and get some! " readily replied the child.
The man then made a final attempt, "What if your clothes get dirty?"I will come home and get some!,"Then I'll come home and let mommy wash them," was the reply.
The man shook his head and exclaimed, "What if your clothes get dirty?"
For The Kids...
What do you call a bull who tells jokes?
Laugh-a-bull!
What is the most faithful insect?
A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them!
What insect runs away from everything?
A flee!
What is the difference between a flea and a wolf?
One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie!
