My best friend wanted to be offline for a while and when she came back online she didn't answer to my texts but I was able to reach her somehow and I knew something was wrong so I asked why but she said she didn't want to talk about it and it seemed like she was trying to avoid me but after a long time I was able to reach her again and she told me that its because she has fallen in love with me but she couldn't say so because she knows I'm in love with someone else (someone who was away for years that I still tried to contact her but eventually I asked for advice and they all told me to give up on her so I did).

So she then got a boyfriend and he somehow knew that she's in love with me and told her to block me even though she couldn't. Before I knew she was in love with me I felt like she wanted to avoid me so I told her to text me when it's the right time. I got sick of waiting and I got her to tell me about everything but now I don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin their relationship by being with her(her boyfriend think I want to steal her away from him but I wouldn't do that and I don't know if I actually love her as a friend or more),yet I can't live without her...

Isn't there anything I can do to solve this? Like convince her boyfriend or something... I cant live without her but I don't want to ruin her relationship either.

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Originally Posted by moshofao

My best friend wanted to be offline for awhile and when she came back online she didn't answer to my texts but I was able to reach her somehow and I knew something was wrong so I asked why but she said she didn't want to talk about it and it seemed like she was trying to avoid me but after a long time I was able to reach her again and she told me that its because she has fallen in love with me but she couldn't say so because she knows I'm in love with someone else (someone who was away for years that I still tried to contact her but eventually I asked for advice and they all told me to give up on her so I did) so she then got a boyfriend and he somehow knew that she's in love with me and told her to block me even though she couldn't, before I knew she was in love with me I felt like she wanted to avoid me so I told her to text me when it's the right time, I got sick of waiting and I got her to tell me about everything but now I don't know what to do, I don't want to ruin their relationship by being with her(her boyfriend think I want to steal her away from him but I wouldn't do that and I don't know if I actually love her as a friend or more)yet I cant live without her... isn't there anything I can do to solve this? Like convince her boyfriend or something... I cant live without her but I don't want to ruin her relationship either

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Do everyone a favor... find someone else... someone local to you that you don't have to rely on them being online or texting to communicate with. Its clear that's what she wants... respect her wishes. You can't force yourself on someone or force yourself into their lives.

I don't see or hear ANYTHING healthy about you and her. In fact you are dangerously close to being a a stalker.

And stop being a drama queen....you can live without her. You did before you knew her..and you will after.

How old are you both...sounds like an early teen crush or infatuation.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Do everyone a favor... find someone else... someone local to you that you don't have to rely on them being online or texting to communicate with. Its clear that's what she wants... respect her wishes. You can't force yourself on someone or force yourself into their lives.

I don't see or hear ANYTHING healthy about you and her. In fact you are dangerously close to being a a stalker.

And stop being a drama queen....you can live without her. You did before you knew her..and you will after.

How old are you both...sounds like an early teen crush or infatuation.

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1.You don't know anything about me and how I handle myself with people in real life, to which I say I cant communicate with people in real life. 2. That's not her wish and she doesn't want me to be away from her, she misses me everyday and she couldn't block me from everything and kept talking to me instead 3. No I cant force myself into her life I've told her I'd want her happy no matter what even if it means for me to leave her, yet she said leaving her won't make her happy. 4. I don't see that any of what I said makes me a stalker or even close to one. 5. With the way you said all this you seem like your insulting both of us, which gives me the right to report you for it. I asked for an advice not stating ''facts'' that make no sense.

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Originally Posted by moshofao

My best friend wanted to be offline for awhile and when she came back online she didn't answer to my texts but I was able to reach her somehow and I knew something was wrong so I asked why but she said she didn't want to talk about it and it seemed like she was trying to avoid me but after a long time I was able to reach her again and she told me that its because she has fallen in love with me but she couldn't say so because she knows I'm in love with someone else (someone who was away for years that I still tried to contact her but eventually I asked for advice and they all told me to give up on her so I did) so she then got a boyfriend and he somehow knew that she's in love with me and told her to block me even though she couldn't, before I knew she was in love with me I felt like she wanted to avoid me so I told her to text me when it's the right time, I got sick of waiting and I got her to tell me about everything but now I don't know what to do, I don't want to ruin their relationship by being with her(her boyfriend think I want to steal her away from him but I wouldn't do that and I don't know if I actually love her as a friend or more)yet I cant live without her... isn't there anything I can do to solve this? Like convince her boyfriend or something... I cant live without her but I don't want to ruin her relationship either

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After reading this and your response to smoothy, I am going to be blunt. You are confused and making it worse by entertaining any thought of getting back into her life.

You are showing some signs of stalking if you keep contacting her even when you admit you know she wants to avoid you. From what I am seeing, you have forced contact when she has tried to stay away. She may not be blocking you, but that doesn't mean she wants you to contact her. If she does, then she is being foolish because she isn't taking care of her own business. Instead, it looks like she is waiting for you to take her away from the mess she is making. Which is the worst case scenario for both of you especially if it turns out you are only interested in friendship.

If she has feelings for you, then it is up to her to get her life in order and decide to leave her current relationship with no input from you. If she decides to stay with him, she should tell you to get lost and break off all contact. She should not even try to be your friend because it isn't fair to the man she chooses to be with if she keeps longing after her "best friend". Her mess, she has to clean it up.

Back to you, you want your friend back. Understandable. However, she isn't a toy that you can play with while you decide if you want to keep it. She may have feelings for you. You may have stronger feelings for her. However, she is not free to explore those feelings.

For now, leave her alone. Let her work out her own life. Get out with other friends and work on your own life. Have fun. Someday, she may be single and the friendship can resume. For now, though, focus on things other than her.

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Originally Posted by moshofao

1.You don't know anything about me and how I handle myself with people in real life, to which I say I cant communicate with people in real life. 2. That's not her wish and she doesn't want me to be away from her, she misses me everyday and she couldn't block me from everything and kept talking to me instead 3. No I cant force myself into her life I've told her I'd want her happy no matter what even if it means for me to leave her, yet she said leaving her won't make her happy. 4. I don't see that any of what I said makes me a stalker or even close to one. 5. With the way you said all this you seem like your insulting both of us, which gives me the right to report you for it. I asked for an advice not stating ''facts'' that make no sense.

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You stated EXACTLY what I said in your own words... in fact that's EXACTLY why I quoted you. You need to see the points I pointed out before you find yourself in far worse trouble than just losing a friend. It's time you wake up... I have DECADES more experience with people and relationships than you have. What you describe is a scary and unhealthy obsession with an individual.

Cripes... if you have all the answers, then why are you asking us for advice. You got honest advice.

One day you are going to see I was 100% correct. Hopefully before you find yourself in trouble.

What I stated was facts.....I don't have to know either of you...what you told us was enough to understand pretty clearly when you went wrong.

Also...one day you might find yourself in the reverse situation...you have someone expressing the same obsession as you are showing and you aren't going to want it. THEN you will understand the points I was making. Odds are you like most people will at some point.

Personally I think she sees this as well and she is trying to get you to make the decision to leave because she is afraid of what you might do if she was more direct or blunt. A lot of people will do that if they want to break a relationship off without being direct and saying it directly thinking they are being nicer doing it..when it really only drags out the inevitable and makes it more painful and embarrassing for the person that was slow to realize it. .

You have to be old enough to have been on both sides of that situation to really understand and appreciate the point I made. Because I have been.

In the end its your life and your choice.

You seem to only want people, who you can not have, perhaps it is a way to not have anyone and a defense method you do mentally without knowing it.

Next a online "dating" or romance can only last so long, a few months at most and normally not that long, without meeting in person, and at some point, one person or the other must move and make it a real, inperson relationship.

Long term online "dating" first is not real dating, and second never last.

If you have emotional issues and can not do real relationships, get professional help.

Some "friend" you are! She is struggling with confused feelings of love for you, and wants to ease the pain by staying away. All you care about is what you want.

There are countless movies about sacrificing oneself in love.
Start with Casablanca.
Be a man.

Is this friendship an online one? Do you meet in person, or ever have met in person? Is her new boyfriend just online too? How old are you both?

The fact you cannot allow your friend the space to heal and make her own decisions makes me think something is very wrong with the dynamics of this friendship, and YOU both need a break to put things in proper perspective. The fact that you cannot live without her, and think talking to her boyfriend will get you what you want and you ignore the confusion this online love triangle causes all of you means YOU, her, and him may be oblivious to reality and that's NOT healthy at all.

This friendship has gotten too unhealthy to survive, or make healthy decisions that will work for you both. You really need to back WAY off so maybe you both can see this online stuff has gotten you both confused.

Didn't you learn from your last online distance relationship that failed so miserably? What makes you think this will be any different especially since you and maybe her have become so miserable because of it? You sound so desperate and needy that you can't see what you should do, and cannot at least respect her relationship, and stay away.

Stop this drama and get your head together, and let her get her own head together so you can both get healthy in mind. Not what you want to hear I know, but a real friend would not want to add to the confusion and bring more drama to another friend would they? Step aside and get your stuff together man.