Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   How do I break up with my girlfriend before I move? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=821343)

  • Feb 3, 2016, 06:08 PM
    The 20year old
    How do I break up with my girlfriend before I move?
    I need help. Me and my girlfriend is dating for 4 years she lives with me and we are young. I'm moving to a place 500Km or 4 hours away for work and I feel we should break up but I love her. I'm not happy and she has no respect for me. I know I'm a very soft person that's why she walks over me. We have good times but more bad ones. She hurt me onces very badly, we were together for 2.5 years when she went out with friends and started dancing with a guy very close like close! They hugged but did not kiss, but there was something there because I was also there but she did not know it and yes I spied on her that night and I'm glad I did.

    We did talk about it and I wanted to break up with her then but she changed my mind so I'm still in this. I never got over it. And one of the worst things is she was my first lover and I was hers, so we have a connection. I need to know what I should do because I know you should feel happy and in love but I lost that feeling that night. I think the first sign for a break up is when your asking people online for help lol.

    Please help me I need your help before I move away!
  • Feb 3, 2016, 07:40 PM
    talaniman
    Harshness warning

    You have two choices, get some courage and do what you have to do, or drown in your own crap. There is always the cowards way out... runaway... disappear!

    I recommend you find some courage and be honest.
  • Feb 4, 2016, 08:19 AM
    CravenMorhead
    I think the first sign was that night when she danced with that fellow. You were not secure enough in your relationship to accept that she was dancing with another person. You did not trust her enough. You don't have any faith or trust in her, ergo you don't have a healthy relationship with her. You need to realize that when you're with someone you need to trust them. I have seen it so many times that the one we love the most is the one we trust the least and it is because we love them the most that we trust them the least. They have the greatest ability to hurt us and to hurt us bad. Even know we know that they won't intentionally hurt us, we set up guards and as such our trust in them is less and less.

    You need to have faith in your partner.

    You have given a number of reasons you don't want to be with her. We're not going to provide you with reasons to stay. You've made your choice and all you need to do is man up and tell her. So what you need to do is sit down and talk with her, start some good old fashioned communication, and say to her:
    Phylis (I know that isn't her name but I needed one.), we've been together for a while and we've had some good times, but I don't think this is a healthy relationship and I don't believe we can sustain a long distance relationship. So I am breaking up with you. I hope and wish the best for you.

    Some variant of that will do. You can't hide from emotional trauma, because it will be worse the longer it goes. You need to do this and do it quickly.
  • Feb 4, 2016, 08:25 AM
    ma0641
    "I'm not happy and she has no respect for me" . As Shakespeare said, "therein lies the rub".
    "And one of the worst things is she was my first lover and I was hers, so we have a connection." The connection appears to be gone. Make the move and be your own man.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:31 AM.