Ask Me Help Desk - I'm so confused

Ok, I'm 54 years young, divorced single parent (male) with a 12 year old son. I recently had prostrate cancer surgery and radiation which left me impotent, I can no longer get an erection. There are implants that are available but I won't be able to receive one for two years, if I'm a good candidate. My self-esteem is low and I'm not sure how to approach a women in this condition. I know that there are other aspects involved then having sex or making love, but I feel this a necessary part of a relationship.

Now, I'm open to doing anything to ensure that my partner is totally satisfied. Including wearing a strap on device and anything else to ensure her satisfaction until I get this problem resolved So my question is, if I do get into a relationship when should I bring this up and do you feel a women would be discouraged to continue the relationship, or think that I am weird for even thinking about using strapon and other ways to ensure her satisfaction. In regards to my satisfaction, if she is satisfied I will be. Or should I just stay alone feeling the way I feel.

Alone and hopeless. Please Help!

You would be very surprised to know how many women around your age really don't give a hoot about intercourse. So get over the notion you are less a man and lover because she won't be "sexually satisfied." Women want to be loved and cared for and be romanced a bit and share laughs and tears with you, share the kitchen with you, go on vacation with you, go to parties and weddings and funerals with you. They want someone who is honest and faithful and intelligent and fun and interesting. These are all what give a woman satisfaction. (In fact, many women will be relieved that intercourse is off the table. "Been there, done that." Love and even sexual love can be shown in so many other ways.)

Your low self esteem is what should be addressed to have a happy healthy relationship in the first place. Why even bring that other crap up, or worry about it until you actually have a healthy relationship?

Then you BOTH can discuss how best to deal with your mutual sexual satisfaction like any healthy couple. I find it odd even that you think sex is so important and don't have a lady to ask if she agrees. I mean what if she doesn't think it's a big deal as you make it out to be? She may have a better idea than a strapon that satisfies you both!

Address that low self esteem and things will fall into place when the time comes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feelinglow6101

Ok, I'm 54 years young, divorced single parent (male) with a 12 year old son. I recently had prostrate cancer surgery and radiation which left me impotent, I can no longer get an erection. There are implants that are available but I won't be able to receive one for two years, if I'm a good candidate. My self-esteem is low and I'm not sure how to approach a women in this condition. I know that there are other aspects involved then having sex or making love, but I feel this a necessary part of a relationship.

Now, I'm open to doing anything to ensure that my partner is totally satisfied. Including wearing a strap on device and anything else to ensure her satisfaction until I get this problem resolved So my question is, if I do get into a relationship when should I bring this up and do you feel a women would be discouraged to continue the relationship, or think that I am weird for even thinking about using strapon and other ways to ensure her satisfaction. In regards to my satisfaction, if she is satisfied I will be. Or should I just stay alone feeling the way I feel.

Alone and hopeless. Please Help!

I think it is a second or third date kind of conversation. When things start to get more serious. I don't think it is a first date kind of thing. That being said, you can't assume what a prospective partner will or will not want. It could be that they're done with sex and just want companionship. Could be that they want sex. A man's member is a huge part of their ego and this is rough for you, but looking beyond this you have to realize that it is a small part of a mature relationship. I think going out there and just meeting women will do more for your selfesteem then anything. That is what you need.