Its been 4 and a half year. I love him and he too feel the same. I didn't express before and in meanwhile he got married. I then decided to stay away but all in all because of our situation we came along again and again. At last we busted out our feelings as he was very upset with his married life and I too was really facing tough time. We got into a serious relationship.

Now its been more than a year that we are in relationship. we are having physical contact too. His married life is screwed and because of all this I had to abort twice. Now I'm facing the worst time as I know the divorce is not possible between them, but we both love each other a lot.

I'm having no doubts on him. He is very well loyal too me, but our circumstances are heading us behind and we can't be together because of that. We are dying to stay together as a married couple.

"His married life is screwed and because of all this I had to abort twice". Why isn't this your problem? Birth control perhaps?
"I'm hvin no doubts on him. He is very well loyal too me"?? He is married to someone else. He is using you for a booty call.
"We r dying to stay together as a married couple" You can't he is already married.

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Originally Posted by smartbudhu

Its been 4 and a half year. I love him and he too feel the same. I didn't express before and in meanwhile he got married. I then decided to stay away but all in all because of our situation we came along again and again. At last we busted out our feelings as he was very upset with his married life and I too was really facing tough time. We got into a serious relationship.

Now its been more than a year that we are in relationship. we are having physical contact too. His married life is screwed and because of all this I had to abort twice. Now I'm facing the worst time as I know the divorce is not possible between them, but we both love each other a lot.

I'm having no doubts on him. He is very well loyal too me, but our circumstances are heading us behind and we can't be together because of that. We are dying to stay together as a married couple.

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You are messing around with a married person and you know it.. what do you expect?

Ever hear of birth control? Doesn't sound like you use any. What would you expect there too if you don't use it?

Ever hear the term... Booty call? That's what you are to him or he would have already filed for divorce.

Just think..he fooled around on someone else with you....at some point he will be fooling around on you with someone else.

We call that Karma.

Yours is not a question, yours is a matter of fact. You seem to like to let your body be used. Time for you to wise up and move on unless you like to see children flushed down the toilet for such selfish reasons and if you don't, start using birth control.

Agreed. He's happy to have his cake and to eat it as well. There's no reason for him to change anything.

All he has to do is divorce his wife and he is free to marry you. How simple is that?

You forgot to ask a question.
Are you screwed?
Only if you let this continue.
You don't seem to have a good grasp of the consequences and responsibilities of your actions.
You blew it years ago, when you didn't express your feelings.
If he can't divorce in the culture you live in, then you move away so you won't be tempted. You can't even be bothered to use birth control, available anywhere internet is.

Why can't he divorce? I don't know of any country, or culture, even the most strict like Iran, that doesn't allow divorce. So what's keeping him from a divorce? Could it be that he doesn't want a divorce, that he doesn't want to marry you? And why should he get a divorce, pay alimony for his wife, when all he has to do is stay married and he can still have you whenever he wants, and then go back home to his wife.

You are screwed, but you're allowing yourself to be screwed.

Of course he can divorce, he has chosen his wife over you, and has given you some lies to convince you, he must stay with his wife, He may lose money, business and things but if he really loved you, that would not matter.

He most likely enjoys the sex and other company.
And it is apparent you do not use birth control but should, if you continue.

What do you do, either have him divorce and be with you. Or you walk away and never contact him again.

Being a man, he can get a divorce, there maybe places where a woman can't get a divorce particularly in countries where women are second class citizens of arab states.

When I said 'can't get a divorce in your culture,' I meant the intense familial pressure to maintain a marriage. Often the marriage is tied to a business, money, debts, obligations to support in-laws, and threats of being disowned by the extended family.

The OP is in denial, and uses "love" to justify bad decisions and bad behavior. The cultures are irrelevant when you chose to cross the lines of good behavior. Insanity keeps her from seeing she is being used by this married man.

Until she does she will wallow in her own misery.