Hey all,

Im hoping that this post might help some of those who are in a similar situation to mine, or have had some of the same thoughts. Any corrections/suggestions would be appreciated as well..

I have noticed that a lot of people seem confused/scared to begin the no contact part of a breakup, or even unable to decide if it is the right thing to do. I know that I am/was. What I have recently discovered in my own mind is this:

1) The fear of pushing her away/ruining any remaining feelings your ex may have for you is irrelevant. It took me a VERY long time to realize this.

2) Also, the decision to go NC is up to you. A lot of people are afraid to make the first step in that direction, for reasons like that above. Personally, the choice to keep contact with an ex, or when to reinitiate contact with an ex, should depend solely on your feelings. This decision should have NOTHING to do with your ex's feelings or emotions, it should be all about you.

I know a few people are going to yell at me because I have been told this over and over, but I never understood it until recently. I was hoping that by putting it in this perspective I might help other people who are having a little trouble understanding, most especially the second point.

If anyone disagrees, please let me know why, as this is just my rationale.

No one will yell at you for taking a little while to understand it because it took us all some time. In many cases longer than you. I know I just couldn't understand how having no contact with someone would actually be the best thing for both of us. It is hard to fathom but it is so true.

Plus it gives us a time to settle our emotions, think a little more rationally and begin our healing. Contact does not allow that and I won't have anyone tell me otherwise. Sadly it is just the hard reality of what happens when you lose someone dear to you. You pretty much lose them all together!