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-   -   Should I keep hope or just move on? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=81935)

  • Apr 12, 2007, 12:27 PM
    LostandHoldingOn
    Should I keep hope or just move on?
    My boyfriend and I had been dating for 7 months. I know that's not very long but we we're perfect for each other and very in love. He's 41 and I'm 22. We had normal silly couple fights once in a while but nothing serious. Well, he broke up with me Monday almost out of the blue. We had gotten in a fight Friday night. He was going out of town that weekend so we decided to just take a few days apart so he could think about things. He said he loves me very much and loves so many things about me but he doesn't know if he's in love with me. He doesn't even know if he's ever been in love or what love is. He also had family issues as a child that he's still dealing with. He said there's always the same cycle in his relationships. He starts getting distant and working all the time and his girlfriend at the time either leaves him or cheats on him. He said he's only broken up with two women. His ex-wife and me. He's starting to go to counseling/therapy whatever you want to call it, which is great! He obviously needs to figure out how to be happy. He said he cares about me too much to bring me into the middle of this and that it would just get ugly if we stayed together right now, that's why he ended it now. So at least, if anything, we can be friends. His exact words to me were, I don't expect you to wait around for me. I can't say we'll be together after this and I can't say that we won't. Whatever is meant to be will be. I love him so much and know that we could be happy and have an amazing life together. Should I keep the hope that we'll someday get back together? Or do all I can to just forget that idea?
  • Apr 12, 2007, 12:43 PM
    hurricane
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by LostandHoldingOn
    My boyfriend and I had been dating for 7 months. I know that's not very long but we we're perfect for eachother and very in love. He's 41 and I'm 22. We had normal silly couple fights once in a while but nothing serious. Well, he broke up with me Monday almost out of the blue. We had gotten in a fight friday night. He was going out of town that weekend so we decided to just take a few days apart so he could think about things. He said he loves me very much and loves so many things about me but he doesn't know if he's in love with me. He doesn't even know if he's ever been in love or what love is. He also had family issues as a child that he's still dealing with. He said there's always the same cycle in his relationships. He starts getting distant and working all the time and his girlfriend at the time either leaves him or cheats on him. He said he's only broken up with two women. His ex-wife and me. He's starting to go to counseling/therapy whatever you want to call it, which is great! He obviously needs to figure out how to be happy. He said he cares about me too much to bring me into the middle of this and that it would just get ugly if we stayed together right now, that's why he ended it now. So at least, if anything, we can be friends. His exact words to me were, I don't expect you to wait around for me. I can't say we'll be together after this and I can't say that we won't. Whatever is meant to be will be. I love him so much and know that we could be happy and have an amazing life together. Should I keep the hope that we'll someday get back together? Or do all I can to just forget that idea?

    I know it's hard, but the best chance you have right now of keeping him, is not to have ANY contact - don't return his calls, etc, and do NOT contact him. That way, if he is messing you around you'll know. But, he might being honest, but you are a prize worth having, that he has to decide if he wants - if not, he'll lose you. He has to see it like that, so, behave like you're valuable and be distant, even if you feel like you're dying.
  • Apr 12, 2007, 12:58 PM
    whiteladybug2002
    Move on! There are more popsicles in the box!
  • Feb 7, 2008, 02:51 AM
    Spiker2008
    Time has passed, and I'm sure you came to a good conclusion... which is leave the guy. It's obvious he played the old... confused victim role on you. It's pretty simple... how MAN thinks... If we break up now... I can cheat on you while I'm away, then get back with you when I return. Heh Heh... I used to love doing that.

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