Hi all,

Here's my story

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Since breaking up a month ago I have tried to implement NC and it does work, because I had not seen her since being dumped I tried to arrange meeting up a few weeks ago, she said yeah then on the morning of the meet she told me she could only see me for an hour because she was meeting up with a bloke for a date! (made me feel awful)

I left it for a week then phoned her and picked her, I said to myself to be jolly and seem happy and this did work but she seemed so distanst although I did think it went OK. As I left her she gave me all of my old things back from her house which made me feel even worse. Since then I haven't heard from her (9 days) and I have not contacted her.

I have tried to forget about her by keeping busy etc and have even started arranging dates with other girls, but none of this seems to be maing me feel any better. I think about her everyminute of every day. I don't know but I am sure she has a new guy and that hurts even more. The majority of me wants her back but part of me resents her so much for the way she has treated me.

I really want her back should I contct her and try and intiate contact? Or should I just carry on with NC and try and move on and have the hope that one day in the future she will return?

Yours and confused

Inthecrowd

Its time to accept the harsh truth and start the transition to single life. Its hard but whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? More wary in the future and aware what we are looking for in a relationship and a person.

Treat your relationship as a life experience, you might not be able to treasure the memories you had right now but one day you will. Do not regret but learn and move on, as someone much better is just around the next corner.

You must try follow these: (be strong)

1) Abide by no contact, ignorance is bliss so don't go near the 'grape vine'
2) Work on yourself entirely - hobbies, work, gym
3) Ever wanted to do something in your life? Nows the time
4) Spend more time with your friends and family and renew old social ties
5) Box every memory away and stay away from your fav songs for now - when you can look at it without feeling ill - Ur halfway there!
6) Time does heal :P It just takes a god dam while, but don't mope at home, go out, party, exercise - helps a hell of a lot

She is obviously trying to move on, perhaps she had emotionally detached along time ago? So she has a head star there, maybe she misses having someone around - a lacking in herself I think - You don't need anyone to be happy.

The best revenge is to be happy yourself :]

Accept she is gone, and get your mind around the idea she will not be back. Have your own fun, and do not contact her for any reason whatsoever. I advise you to not take her calls either.

Broken hearts heal with time, if your girlfriend really loved you, she would have not
Return the staff you gave her, we do end relationship but that was not necessary for
Her to do that, try to accept what happened you cannot forget her over night. She never deserved you it's not easy but every pain does pass away. Do not be too hard on
Yourself, if you keep on trying to contact her she will play
With your emotions because her actions are obvious that loving you was not enough
For her. Do not boost her ego by making yourself venerable to her, I'am a woman
And I know how their minds works, believe me it's not worth it to purser this relationship.

Good luck.

Subconciously we try to conjure up thoughts of the past and not allow us to be the person we truly want to be. It is a harsh and cruel world out there and it isn't for the weak. Whatever she is doing has no bearing or effect on your life at all. She is living her life and so should you. She is 1 person and one person should never have this much power and control over your OWN life. You may have lost her but don't let her take you too.

You need to understand that breakups happen every day, you are not alone and this site is an example of that. I know she was great and you loved her but that doesn't mean you can't find someone else. You don't need to force being with other girls to move on until you are ready. You just need to go out and have fun and do things you love to do outside of women. It will make it that much easier and as time goes by you will think about her less and less.

You need to do NC and stop pretending like you are really doing no contact. 1 month is nothing in the big scheme of things. If you want any chance of reconciliation which I think you don't anyway you need true NC of a long period. I have been doing it since November of last year and she may call me once in a while to check up but you know what I still care about her and love her, but I am living my life the way I want to live it and I think the world of her and no hard feelings but life goes on. I am not going to sit around and waste precious time thinking of someone that isn't there now. We have a past together but that is what molds you into the person you are. You now know the type of person that you are looking for because she was great but had her flaws but at least you have an idea and it makes it that much easier to find someone better because I am telling you it only gets better from here. Just let it.