Greetings all,

It's been 15 months since my girlfriend of three years left me. I still find myself missing her. There isn't a day go by that I not think about her. Memories just keep playing in my mind of her. I keep having dreams about her. I miss everything about her, from the way she smelled to the way she acted in certain situations. I haven't seen her since the breakup but I do know she is in a relationship and has been since the beak up. She has moved on, so why can't I? Why is she still living in my head? I'm trying so hard to move on, and sometimes I feel like I already did. However there are setback days where I REALLY miss what we had. I know there are other people out there but I feel as if they won't compare. I feel VERY lonely at times. It really hits me at nights and on the weekends. I see people my age (19) in serious relationships, having kids, etc.. That's what I wanted. Can anybody please help me? All of your words are appreciated and are VERY helpful. Thanks guys..

I would like to hear what EVERYONE thinks, so please give your input!

Well 3 yrs is a long time, so give yourself some credit!

Are you keeping yourself busy?

One thing I can tell you... don't ever compare her to any girl you meet because I can guarantee you will never be happy!
We are all individuals and comparing her will only make you feel worse.

If you are really in love with someone in a deep way, it can be forever. I am not talking about a superficial crush or the kind of love that only comes from romanticism, like thinking desperately that you have to have or need someone.

I have had many girlfriends in my life. I have been truly in love with several of them. Even though the love may have been mutual between me and with the few, does that mean that we would be perfect for each other as far as living together? Not necessarily.

When I eventually got married to a woman many years ago, I even invited a couple of former girlfriends to the wedding. One of them actually showed up. I was in love with both of them that I had invited. Things just did not work out that I would be together with either of the two, former girlfriends. Sometimes people just take different paths in life.

Just because you think that you are not "fully over" someone does not mean that you cannot love someone else just as much.

It's just another way of looking at things. That has been my experience and I thought that it might help you if I shared it with you.

I do miss a lot of things that I had with some former girlfriends, or shall I say "lovers?" Even to this day, when I and one of the former girlfriends that I invited to the wedding see each other, she will say that she has discussions with her now husband, but they are never like the depth of discussions that the two of us shared. I know that there are many good things with her husband now that are very important to the "glue" that keeps the two of them together.

People get married or are together for many reasons. Without going into the good and/or bad of it, I would say that it boils down to "is it a good "fit" in terms of relationship in all points to consider."

Like you, my ex loves still live in my mind. It is okay. Being "over" someone, does not mean that you are still not in love with them.

You just move on with your life.

As krs said, "Are you keeping yourself busy?" I hope that you are. Lots of things to choose and do in life! It's not all about relationships with other people.

You can stop beating yourself up. What you are thinking is normal if you really loved the person.

Three years together is a long time. I would never be able to forget it if the relationship had been a good one.

Another thing that krs mentioned, and that was concerning making comparisons. I would follow her advise.

You will find another relationship with someone if that is the thing that you seek. There are lots of fish in the sea, and many are looking for the same thing that you are.

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Originally Posted by randomguy19

Greetings all,

It's been 15 months since my girlfriend of three years left me. I still find myself missing her. There isn't a day go by that I not think about her. Memories just keep playing in my mind of her. I keep having dreams about her. I miss everything about her, from the way she smelled to the way she acted in certain situations. I haven't seen her since the breakup but I do know she is in a relationship and has been since the beak up. She has moved on, so why can't I? Why is she still living in my head? I'm trying so hard to move on, and sometimes I feel like I already did. However there are setback days where I REALLY miss what we had. I know there are other people out there but I feel as if they won't compare. I feel VERY lonely at times. It really hits me at nights and on the weekends. I see people my age (19) in serious relationships, having kids, etc.. That's what I wanted. Can anybody please help me? All of your words are appreciated and are VERY helpful. Thanks guys..

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I completely relate to what you are going through. My ex left me after 3 years and it was for me an important part of my life. It has been 7 1/2 months now since the breakup and I still get some bad days but I am (I would say) relatively comfortable with the situation and have accepted that it is over and she is gone. That thought really was hard for me to grasp 5 months ago when I was in complete denial and all over the place. I don't think it all completely dies though, you spent 3 years with her and just because 15 months have passed, does not mean you will forget. The only thing you need to do is try to move on with your life now, perhaps think about dating someone new who can help lift these feelings.

I don't mean a rebound because at this stage, something like dating someone else may help you. It may not but there are other things you can do that I am sure you have heard before. Engage in a new hobby or project, find new friends, whatever it takes to take your mind off her. Have you removed things around you that remind you of her? If not, do so.

Have you considered counseling to help you work through these feelings? Nothing wrong with this. Personally, I have not done this up to this stage because I thought I would be okay battling through it alone but it is not something I have dismissed altogether. Like I say, we all have our ups and downs no matter how long has passed.

One thing that stuck out in what you said was that most of the people you know who are aged 19ish are all in serious relationships and having children. This is way to young in my opinion to be thinking of raising a family. I am 27 and I have not started that process yet... You have to live life first, enjoy your youth, find yourself before choosing to settle down. I know age is just a number but you really do have a whole life ahead of you, much like I do and 19 is way too young to be hung up on the idea that you are missing out on things like raising a family.

Wanting these things are okay but give yourself some years to live a little. Don't compare yourself so much to others. The grass is not always greener on the other side!

Take Care!

We all get those feelings stirred up in us for whatever reason. The main thing is not to just want a relationship, but to want one with the right person. You've been given some very good advice, and all you have to do is get out and have fun and enjoy your youth and friends, because 19 is a little young to be looking for a wife. Find the girl first, and have a lot of fun along the way. Dating does not mean marriage, and if your not ready for a relationship that's okay, just enjoy the moment.

Your in love man no questions ask because that's how I feel to and I know what your going through but my ex is pregnet with this guy that left her and I want to get close but I know what she would do to me but you should try to find her and tell her how you feel about her and see what she says to you iight

[F]Ok I know how you feel. I think I just broke up with my Boyfriend (I am Gay, and honestly wouldn't you rather have some Gay guy telling you how to get your Girlfriend back when we are all about romance, well anyways,) and I want him Back so bad. As my auntie veda(Vee-Da) once said "It is hard obeying the laws of love." (Just for your information my auntie veda is my uncle vern, he is a drag queen) Any ways, ha ha ha ha ha I bet you think I am crazy, but any ways to tell you the truth, you are just gonna have to live with it, and someday to be "Happy"

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Originally Posted by randomguy19

Greetings all,

It's been 15 months since my girlfriend of three years left me. I still find myself missing her. There isn't a day go by that I not think about her. Memories just keep playing in my mind of her. I keep having dreams about her. I miss everything about her, from the way she smelled to the way she acted in certain situations. I haven't seen her since the breakup but I do know she is in a relationship and has been since the beak up. She has moved on, so why can't I? Why is she still living in my head? I'm trying so hard to move on, and sometimes I feel like I already did. However there are setback days where I REALLY miss what we had. I know there are other people out there but I feel as if they won't compare. I feel VERY lonely at times. It really hits me at nights and on the weekends. I see people my age (19) in serious relationships, having kids, etc.. That's what I wanted. Can anybody please help me? All of your words are appreciated and are VERY helpful. Thanks guys..

I would like to hear what EVERYONE thinks, so please give your input!!

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Your not alone I miss my ex very much to,he is the only one I ave ever been with, my first love,only love.I dream we are still together and when I wake up I'm on my own.im trying to move on to.I say I want to get him out of my head and to stop thinking of him but no matter what I do I cant. When you have worked out how to do it let me no.I will do the same.

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Originally Posted by kazzz

ur not alone i miss my ex very much to,he is the only one i ave ever been with, my first love,only love.i dream we are still together and wen i wake up im on my own.im tryin to move on to.i say i want to get him out of my head and to stop thinking of him but no matter wot i do i cant. wen u have worked out how to do it let me no.i will do the same.

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My first real love broke up with me 5-6 times. And each time I still can't get her out of my mind, even when I know she used me and treated me like garbage. Best advice I can give you is read other posts because it helps me a lot. And listen to the advise they give you. I just wish I found this site 4 yrs ago

Thanks and I am reading other post to help me but mine is really different to most of these on relationship. He split with me in jan and its because he loves cocaine much more.we never had argument and worshiped the ground I walked on.then out of blue he said "think we shud go our seperate ways babe coz ive got a coke problem" I still very confussed but I ave got a lot of advice of this site and am avein no contact with him and just hopein and prayin that it will all b OK in the end.

What will be will b!
If it does it does,if it don't it don't!

I believe life has a path for us all and wots meant to be or not, will b.

I completely understand how you feel. My ex-fiance of 5 years just left me and I constantly think about him. I'm still in the beginning stages though it's only been a week. I cry myself to sleep every night ( that is, the nights I can go to sleep ) and I can't get out of this depressed mode. But I have made up my mind not to give in to these feelings because all they do is cause me pain. Of course you are going to have your good and bad days but it's very do-able. I'm trying to find things that make me happy, I lost myself in this relationship and now I'm trying to find myself again.

Do things that make you happy, hang with friends, pamper yourself and just enjoy being alone. I know that it's easier said than done, but again it's very do-able. I wish you all the best in your journey. I know it's hard. When you love someone the way you probably loved this girl, that love will never die. It may get easier to bear but it never dies.

I feel for you dude. We've all been there in some sense. And it takes a lot of self searching and coming to closure with the situation. At times it seems impossible like you will never get those thoughts out of your head, but if you start turning your attention elsewhere and keep doing that, those thoughts will fade. You have to find a way to get closure in your own mind. Keep working it buddy, you'll make it!

I can truly say that I can relate. What makes some of us want to hang on to the past so hard? We see people around us moving forward, but yet we dwell on what once was. I, too, have a person in my past who lingers in my mind. Thoughts of that person run through my head, too, on a regular basis. I never really got over him. For you, it has been fifteen months- for me it has been many more. The one thing that I can tell you is that for the first three or four years after we broke up, I thought of him every day, several times a day. Now that more time has passed, I seem to think of him less and less. It has been a difficult road trying to face the fact that it was over. Just when I thought I was doing well, I would see him out at the store or whatever, and have to relive the pain. I know that it is a cliché, but time does heal all wounds.. With time, you will think of her less and less. When you meet that person who is intended just for you, that person will make you forget all about your ex. Make room in your heart and mind for the good things to come...

I posted 2 weeks back about my ex, and how I still miss her even after a year. My question is, why do I keep dreaming of her? The relationship was more of an addiction and sexual then anything else. She left me for another guy, and to this day I still wonder if I truly loved her or if I was addicted. I guess I dwell on that sometimes. We never really worked out our issues, instead we were sexual. The dreams I have always have a happy ending, that she is happy, and I am in relief because she took me back. 90% of the dreams are however sexual. What could these dreams mean? Could they mean anything?Should I take action on these dreams?

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Originally Posted by randomguy19

I posted 2 weeks back about my ex, and how I still miss her even after a year. My question is, why do I keep dreaming of her? The relationship was more of an addiction and sexual then anything else. She left me for another guy, and to this day I still wonder if I truly loved her or if I was addicted. I guess I dwell on that sometimes. We never really worked out our issues, instead we were sexual. The dreams I have always have a happy ending, that she is happy, and I am in relief because she took me back. 90% of the dreams are however sexual. What could these dreams mean? Could they mean anything?Should I take action on these dreams?

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Maybe your confused about these so called dreams... alls it seems is that you miss her. You can't stop thinking about her. Not even in your sleep. But when you wake up you must realize she did not take you back and that she is indeed gone and it is about time for you to move on. Or you could keep living in the past and dreaming of what you had instead for going out and seeing what you could have. You should come to the realization your dreams are also a nightmare holding you back.

I have dreams about my ex. It just means I haven't quite got over her yet. I see it being about 2008 that I will be totally over her :p Doesn't mean I am not fulfilling a fun life with lots of stuff planned, the dumping gave me a kick up the and so it should for everyone else. A certificate to get out there and enjoy life! :)

19! You're so young! I know it's hard, but try to enjoy things while you're young- don't get wrapped up in kids, family, etc. You have so much time to date, go to school, build a career, and much more.

I can tell you right now that even if you find your true love tomorrow you're STILL going to miss the things about your ex for a long time. If you had a connection it's impossible not to.

Two of my best friends dated for a long time and she's moved on but he hasn't. He's dating someone else right now, but he's still in love with my friend. It's really hard to see him so upset for so long, but he's getting along fine now that he's accepted it.

I've also always believed that if things are meant to be, you'll be together in the end. Just have faith. You're bound to be lonely sometimes, but things will work out.

You are 19...

"I see so many people my age in serious relationships and having kids.."

I am sure that you will also see many people of your age who are going through a rough time because they are having kids so young...


You are 19 years...
Live.
Enjoy.
Experience.

Love can hurt, but you have to move on.

Life is too short.

Good luck.

Hello all.

It's been 15 months since me and my ex has broken up. Mostly because of my doings. I wasn't the best boyfriend and I fully regret it. To show that I'm truly sorry I want to send her a letter but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. I haven't talked to her since we broke up. Does this letter sound like it can do any harm?

"I just want to apologize for everything. Looking back I was very foolish, selfish and immature to say the least.

I just became something I wasn't. I accept full responsibility in my doings. I've grown up and changed a lot since

then. I'm not sure if we will ever talk or be friends again in the future but if not I fully understand and I just

wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry. You don't need to respond, and I hope this letter does more good then

harm. I wish you the best of luck in life and want to say that you are a very nice girl and deserve the best.

Thanks for everything."

Thanks guys.. I just don't want this turning into something negative

Do it, and do it TODAY,

I wanted to tell my ex I was sorry, and waited, she died, and I had to tell it to a tombstone, So don't ever wait to tell someone you are sorry.

Don't expect them to accept it, just know you admitted fault and told them you were sorry.