Ask Me Help Desk - What to tell my parents?

I have friends (4-5). And they're only the people who I could hangout with and talk to whenever I'm down (and actually they help me whenever I have struggles) instead of my family. Because they wouldn't listen and they never understand and it seems like they don't care of how I feel..
And they cant help especially my mom whenever I have homeworks.

My parents keep saying "they're not true. they are not your real friends." how do they know?how could they say that thing without even knowing my friends.. they even barely see each other. They only see each other whenever I invite them and most of, they never talked.

And my mom has a problem with one of my friend's parents. Cant they fix it on their own problem and leave me and my friend alone? We cant see each other anymore because my guardian (which who actually ruined our friendship because of her wrong conclusion then telling my mom and there, my mom reacted and grounded me and keeping me away from my friend) almost all of my friend's family hates my guardian because of her attitude toward us and my mom cant see it because she's far from us. She's in another country with her husband and my 2 little siblings) we always fight because of my guardian. I requested to kick her out already -- she actually want to leave already but my mom doesn't want her to. She took the side of my guardian instead of her own daughter and I'm everyday depressed over it. I have no longer respect for my guardian and the love I have for my mother, decreased.

She's not here to take care of me but also grounded me, keeping me in a boring room- making me sterile and just letting me use gadgets (which parents shouldn't make us use it too much) and leaving me depressed, stressed--- which is already making me crazy. Is it cruel?

Oh, I went somewhere with a friend ( a place what I really wanted to see because I missed it. Old memories) and then after that, we went to a mall because it was one my friend's birthday and we had dinner there and invited us to go to KTV -- my mom grounded me because of that..

I only went there once and like I know it was a dangerous place they said (I only experienced going there once in my life. I don't even know how to cook, how to wash my clothes but I do know how wash dishes-- because my family don't want me to and they're not here to teach me and they're too busy even if they're here. And I didn't completely know how to go there and here, there here -- I only had the confidence to do that because I learnt it my friends). I told my mom I will never go there anymore. But still, she's keeping this way and locked in my room.. I explained my part again and again, but there. Still.

Why do I feel there’s more to this story that you aren’t telling us?

“Because they wouldn't listen and they never understand and it seems like they don't care of how I feel” Almost every kid feels this way but you are not doing yourself any favors not communicating with them.

“I only went there once and like I know it was a dangerous place” – REALLY? So I guess according to you it would be a better reaction if they were happy you put yourself in a dangerous place? Any responsible parent, including you when you have children, would be concerned about this. If it was one of my sons there would be an immediate and lengthy loss of privileges.

In any relationship communication is the key. If you hold back on the communication then the relationship is going to struggle. You didn’t say how old you are, I am guessing a teenager. As you grow older you are supposed to start making decisions on your own. Decisions and actions have consequences so hopefully you will start making the right decisions.

Yes, what is it about the "friend" you mom (or guardian) does not like. Normally my guess is that the friend is perhaps known to do things that may get you into trouble.

But you went to a place you know you should not go. So yes you should be grounded, that is normal of any parent.

Why are you not living with your mother ? Where is your father?

I think I need more information before giving any advice.

How old are you?

Why does your mother feel the way she does about your friends? Have they been a part of you getting in trouble? Do they encourage you to act against your family's rules and traditions?

What does your father think? In the title of the question you mention parents, but in the question you only mention your mother and her husband.

Why does your family not want you to learn how to do what many of us see as everyday chores? Are there reasons? Health? Cultural? Traditions?

What is KTV? This is a global site and KTV stands for different things in different places.

Why should your mother believe you over an adult who she put in charge? If you are disobeying her rules, going out when you shouldn't, going places you aren't allowed, etc., then it calls your truthfulness and trustworthiness into question. How much does your own behavior affect your mother's decisions?

What was the 'wrong conclusion'? Was it really wrong or was it a stricter understanding of the rules?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Yes, what is it about the "friend" you mom (or guardian) does not like. Normally my guess is that the friend is perhaps known to do things that may get you into trouble.

But you went to a place you know you should not go. So yes you should be grounded, that is normal of any parent.

Why are you not living with your mother ? Where is your father?

I didn't know I can't go there. My mom always let me go outside and hangout with my friends but that time, I had no idea

I'm studying in our country while my mom is living with my step dad in another country. My real father is in US with a new family

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oliver2011

Why do I feel there’s more to this story that you aren’t telling us?

“Because they wouldn't listen and they never understand and it seems like they don't care of how I feel” Almost every kid feels this way but you are not doing yourself any favors not communicating with them.

“I only went there once and like I know it was a dangerous place” – REALLY? So I guess according to you it would be a better reaction if they were happy you put yourself in a dangerous place? Any responsible parent, including you when you have children, would be concerned about this. If it was one of my sons there would be an immediate and lengthy loss of privileges.

In any relationship communication is the key. If you hold back on the communication then the relationship is going to struggle. You didn’t say how old you are, I am guessing a teenager. As you grow older you are supposed to start making decisions on your own. Decisions and actions have consequences so hopefully you will start making the right decisions.

I'm 18. (I know I may sound like a childish person but I just want to learn things on my own. ) I didn't know it could be a dangerous place, I mean the KTV. I wondered what is wrong with me being there, just singing in a private room..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

I think I need more information before giving any advice.

How old are you?

Why does your mother feel the way she does about your friends? Have they been a part of you getting in trouble? Do they encourage you to act against your family's rules and traditions?

What does your father think? In the title of the question you mention parents, but in the question you only mention your mother and her husband.

Why does your family not want you to learn how to do what many of us see as everyday chores? Are there reasons? Health? Cultural? Traditions?

What is KTV? This is a global site and KTV stands for different things in different places.

Why should your mother believe you over an adult who she put in charge? If you are disobeying her rules, going out when you shouldn't, going places you aren't allowed, etc., then it calls your truthfulness and trustworthiness into question. How much does your own behavior affect your mother's decisions?

What was the 'wrong conclusion'? Was it really wrong or was it a stricter understanding of the rules?

I am 18
I have no idea why my mom feels that way. She once said I'm getting bad influenced by them just because I went to KTV (Karaoke Television). I love singing yoou know and they never encourage me to act against my family's rules. I act on my own and I've never got bad influenced by the people I stick with. I know that and I completely avoid that.

I also have no idea since we're not really close and we don't talk much. I'm damn shy. He's my step father

When I was young, they wouldn't let me do the chores (idk why?) and that's why they hired a guardian and then until now.

I never disobeyed her rules and I don't do what I should not unless whenever I'm angry, I make it worst I don't know why I'm like this. I keep holding my anger for a long time and just trying to understand them but they keep on saying things again and again as if I don't understand them and listen to them. And they become judgemental to the simple things I did wrong and I just choose not to speak that's why what they thought, it is what really happened. That's why sometimes I'm losing respect.

And to be honest, there are times I want to say sorry, but whenever I hear things again that I don't like it, then never mind.

I went somewhere that I really wanted to see. Yes, I told my guardian about it. I also told her that I'm going to the mall because it was my friend's birthday and then when we finished having dinner at the mall, I sent my her a message that I was going to KTV. And when I got home, my mom talked to me and found out my guardian said I didn't tell her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

How old are you?

I am 18

Bad decisions frequently result in death.

Death is permanent, there is nothing to learn from it except when it happens to someone else.

Parents do their best to give you advice and punishment to guide you towards making better decisions.

A lot of things are common sense... going into a bad area at night is one. No matter WHAT the reason is.

Think I'm kidding... sit down and watch the news sometime. Plenty of examples of people doing the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong place. Sometimes just one of those, sometimes all three of them.

The reality of the world is people of ANY age... die every day because of it.

Your parents know this... you might be lucky enough to survive long enough to learn this yourself if you insist on learning lessons the hard way... yourself.

Sounds like sour grapes and teen angst at being told what to do by your elders. You acknowledge not knowing how to take care of yourself so until you can do so, on your own, do as you are told and learn to curb your anger, and bad behavior.

You are a dependent and be grateful you have someone to depend on... MANY do not enjoy the luxury that you do.