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-   -   Father cannot spend time with his son (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=81704)

  • Apr 11, 2007, 07:37 PM
    cjurju79
    Father cannot spend time with his son
    My boyfriend of 8 yrs. Has a son with another girl. He is paying child support and is suppose to have joint custody. The child's mother has a boyfriend of only 9 months that she has him call dad. The mother and her boyfriend will not allow his son over so that they could spend time together. The only time he can see his son is if he goes over there,while the whole time she's literally on his rear and won't let them alone. Its getting worse now. The child all of a sudden wants nothing to do with his father- when they were starting to get along really good. We know that it is because of the mother and her boyfriend downgrading my boyfriend to him. We need to take it to court, but we really don't have the money for it right now. What can we do? Especially when the mother could be proven unfit. She just got her children back from child services about 2 months ago. Please help
  • Apr 11, 2007, 08:08 PM
    Clough
    If you go and speak with an attorney concerning this matter, the initial consultation is usually free of charge. I would try that first. Have a lot of questions already written down, like why you think the mother could be proven to be unfit and what is happening in the relationship as far as how the boy is being affected by what the mom and boyfriend are dong. You probably will get some good ideas from the attorney. Write them down. Bring with you any legal documents that you have concerning custody and visitation rights to show to the attorney.

    Many cites have attorneys who like to work with people who do not have much money. You might like to contact a social service agency for children and families. They would be able to help you to find an attorney.
  • Apr 11, 2007, 08:37 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Yes, you need an attorney to file in court ( and try to bill her for the attorney fees for doing ti) If you have a court ordered visitation, she has to allow it, or you can take her back to court for contempt. My son has done this and any time he is not allowed his visitation, she has a fine to pay to the court now.
  • Apr 11, 2007, 08:48 PM
    Lillian42
    Yes he needs to speak with an attorney or get out he's custody papers to see what they state. If he is paying child support and has never been found unfit he should get to see his child on a joint custody agreement. Only the court can tell the father he has to have supervised visits
  • Apr 17, 2007, 01:49 PM
    lacuran8626
    There is a national organization called the Legal Assistance Foundation. This organization is a clearinghouse for lawyers who do work "pro-bono" (unpaid) for people who cannot afford it. Another organizatino to look into is the National Center for Poverty Law.

    Legal assistance is available free or on a sliding scale.

    If a custody arrangement is already in place, a lawyer may not be necessary. Your boyfriend may just need to enforce his rights to visitation by advising the child's mother that if she does not comply with every visitation appointment and permit him to take the child with him and return the child at the appointed time, he will come with the authorities to enforce the order. Of course, it is best not to involve the police if it can be avoided, as it creates a lot of drama for the child which can be damaging.

    It is important in exerting his rights that your boyfriend play by all the rules without any slip-ups regardless of what the child's mother does. Pay child support on time, don't put the child in any inappropriate situations (aroudn drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc.), pick him up and return him for visits reliably and predictably at the appointed times and so on.
  • Apr 17, 2007, 09:11 PM
    Matt3046
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  • Apr 17, 2007, 10:11 PM
    vlee
    You don't need an attorney to file a contempt charge, although it makes things easier. If they have joint custody the dad has as much right as the mom to have the child HALF of the time. If he doesn't try to enforce his rights, he could lose them or have them diminished. Also, remember it is mom who sets the tone for her new boyfriend. He didn't walk in saying "your dad's a jerk", he was led by mom. If your husband wants a relationship with his child, he needs to take action NOW. The longer he waits the more repercussions he will face from court, and the more resistance he will meet with his child.

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