My name is Adam, I'm a freshman in high school and I have been dealing with depression for a few years now. I used to be so happy and always went out, had fun. Was always smiling. I played baseball and football, I was one of the top 5 pitchers in the state of Washington and I was a captain on my football team. These past few years have been so bad. I gained so much weight, I quit my sports. I take online schooling now. I'm always alone in my room. I have a girlfriend who gets upset with me when I tell her how I'm feeling inside because I make her feel like she's not doing anything to help me. I am just a pest around my family. I'm always bringing them down. I cant seem to stay happy no matter what. Whenever I am alone all my bad thoughts flow through my head. I feel worthless and I'm just a headache to everyone around me. I feel that if I was gone that I'd help everyone around me in the long-run. I hate myself so much, I have done so much that I regret. I am failing all my classes. I haven't done 1 assignment or anything in weeks. I do not have any motivation to do anything at all. I stay in bed all day. When I'm not in bed I am talking with my girlfriend that lives across the world from me. We play games together and watch movies. I just want to be gone. I know I am not going to go anywhere in life. I am not going to be successful. I am just a bother to everyone. Help

If you are facing some trouble in present situation, it doesn't mean you are not going to do good in future. What you are experiencing now, every person in life have experience the same thing in their life too. So, You don't need to quit. It happens. Life is a journey full of expected and unexpected things. Seek help from any therapy! or talk to a councilor. And get up ad help yourself, to face bravely every situation of life and learn from it. Move forward always. You have to believe in yourself first, when none else does. Success is achieved by doing small stuff every day. Never Give up! Great Things takes Time!

What happened this past year with you that you feel like this?

That's a friend that happens to be a girl. If you can't sit across the table from her and hold hands... then you are cyber friends. Nothing more.

I see nothing where you talk about getting treated for this. If you aren't you need to. This is imminently treatable. IF you seek treatment.

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Originally Posted by TheNameIsLee

My name is Adam, I'm a freshman in high school and I have been dealing with depression for a few years now. I used to be so happy and always went out, had fun. Was always smiling. I played baseball and football, I was one of the top 5 pitchers in the state of Washington and I was a captain on my football team. These past few years have been so bad. I gained so much weight, I quit my sports. I take online schooling now. I'm always alone in my room. I have a girlfriend who gets upset with me when I tell her how I'm feeling inside because I make her feel like she's not doing anything to help me. I am just a pest around my family. I'm always bringing them down. I cant seem to stay happy no matter what. Whenever I am alone all my bad thoughts flow through my head. I feel worthless and I'm just a headache to everyone around me. I feel that if I was gone that I'd help everyone around me in the long-run. I hate myself so much, I have done so much that I regret. I am failing all my classes. I haven't done 1 assignment or anything in weeks. I do not have any motivation to do anything at all. I stay in bed all day. When I'm not in bed I am talking with my girlfriend that lives across the world from me. We play games together and watch movies. I just want to be gone. I know I am not going to go anywhere in life. I am not going to be successful. I am just a bother to everyone. Help

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Why did you start gaining weight? Just because of life/depression or is there a biological reason behind it?

It isn't your girlfriend's responsibility to help you. It is your therapist's responsibility. That is something you need to explore. You're in a dark place right now and you can get out of it. You're starting to realize where you are and where it is going. This is a good thing. A good first step. Now you need to get help. You've realized you have a problem now you need to fix it. Talk to your parents, if you're educated at home, and get them to get you help. Quicker is better.

Exactly how have you been dealing with your depression? How did you go from school star to being home schooled? Same girlfriend who saw porn on your computer? Did she move or what?

Life is just starting for you. Setbacks happen. Perseverance really helps. I'm sure you know that from all your achievements in sports. Believe that you can be successful. That's what a lot of successful people do. As they say, fake it till you make it. Talk to your parents about your troubles, too. Let us know how you're doing.

You sound young Adam, so listen to the advice of everyone here trying to help you. Life isn't about how you feel today, it's more so about tomorrow and the future. Everyone goes through trials and tribulations, its actually this time in your life that will help you appreciate all the good things that will happen to you in your future. Take a step back, analyze your life, go see a psychiatrist and get a professional opinion.

"Life isn't about how you feel today, it's more so about tomorrow and the future."

I don't understand that statement. First how can life not be about how you feel right now? Second what good does it worrying about how you feel tomorrow and in the future? You are not guaranteed tomorrow and the future so living in the moment is what life is about. It's like a 20 year old worrying that he might go bald in his 60s. There's no point or value to that.

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Originally Posted by Questionair

You sound young Adam, so listen to the advice of everyone here trying to help you. Life isn't about how you feel today, it's more so about tomorrow and the future. Everyone goes through trials and tribulations, its actually this time in your life that will help you appreciate all the good things that will happen to you in your future. Take a step back, analyze your life, go see a psychiatrist and get a professional opinion.

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Well everyone's view on life is different. Personally I live for the future, that's why I work, so I can be financially secure. That's why I educated myself, so I can understand things. That is why anyone does anything. If you end up living only for today, then you will be following the tone set by today's addicts, schemers, and bums. Those are the only people that live for today, everyone else is most likely living for tomorrow. The emotions you feel right now are temporary, that is why they do not matter...

My uncle was always clinically depressed and took meds for it. He lived in the past (regrets -- "I should have....") and in the future ("Will I be able to....?"), but never in the present, in the Now. He never enjoyed life and what he had and where he was, but was always looking backward or worried about the future.

I agree. Living in the moment if done correctly is less stressful and leads to a happier life. And I am quite sure I am educated and not an addict, schemer, or a bum. Well, the last time I checked anyway.

And my three cats are masters at living in the Now.

You guys are missing my point here. To live in the now completely is pointless, it will not get you anywhere. I agree with living in the moment when the moment presents itself, but that is rarely. There is a time and a place for everything. Dwelling on the past is something I do not do often, but it is good to always remember where you came from. I guess what I'm saying is that a balance should be distinguished between the three. No one is stating either of you are wrong, just that other methods of living are suitable as well. You may live in the moment today, but if that isn't done properly you will regret it tomorrow, and dwell on it in the future.

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Originally Posted by Questionair

You guys are missing my point here. To live in the now completely is pointless, it will not get you anywhere. I agree with living in the moment when the moment presents itself, but that is rarely. There is a time and a place for everything. Dwelling on the past is something I do not do often, but it is good to always remember where you came from. I guess what I'm saying is that a balance should be distinguished between the three. No one is stating either of you are wrong, just that other methods of living are suitable as well. You may live in the moment today, but if that isn't done properly you will regret it tomorrow, and dwell on it in the future.

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I somewhat agree. I have re-invented myself in my 70s, have put the past behind me because part of it is not to my liking and I am enjoying living in the here and now. I do regret some things but do not dwell on this; I have my own home, still working a full time job I absolutely enjoy. So, my here and now is quite palatable. There isn't very much I am afraid of now (except my coyote problem, but I am not afraid of them per se).

What is more important is to live in present and enjoy every present moment and also as you live, hope for good future and learn from present and past and prepare for your future and all your life goals and plans. Progress every day. Do it for you and the people in your life.
Don't get stuck in the past. And remember whatever you going through in present shall also pass and become past.