I've posted several times but can't find posts. My 9yo sons father is hell bent to file Enforcement of visitation orders against me. Saying I don't allow him to see him. However he gets him every other weekend and his holidays. In fact he's legally not supposed to start 2-week summer visitation till AFTER memorial day but I usually allow it to start the Friday after school let's out. He gets extra time, however in 2014 on labor day weekend, he became irrate at a pick up/drop off because I was to have my son 3 weekends in a row due to labor day weekend ( even years I legally get him) so I said I didn't want to confuse my son ( he has autism so schedule is my #2 priority with him ) this year comes along, labor day weekend fell on what would have been my weekend and going off our agreement from last year, he stayed home with me. Last visitation weekend (Sept 26-28) I arrive at pick up/drop off at 5:02 (I drive 30 minutes) and he goes off on how late I am, starts trying to pry stuff out of me, making accusations about me and furthermore calls me worthless. I tell him repeatedly how I won't argue in front of my son and I'm walking away . He yells that's all I'm good for. Then thanks me for everything because he'd recorded everything at the exchange. I am at my wife end with this "man" . So far he lives with his parents, walked away from his 4 month marriage because "it was hard", all the while calling me a whore and a and I'm a horrible mother. As I've said my sons autistic, on medication, when he sees his father, his father tosses his meds in the trash and says this illness is in my head. I'm lost!! Help!!

First off what is it you want to accomplish ? Second it helps to know the general area that you live in. Not the city but the state so we can tell you what laws may apply to your situation.

If he is tossing the meds then he needs to be reminded how important they are through the courts as the child is your primary concern. If he continues then his visitation may be cut back to where it is supervised.

Also in telling us the State that this is happening in then wwe may also be able to direct you to laws that show what he is doing is illegal. Taping without consent varies by State.

I live in Oklahoma. I want the manipulation towards my son to stop and for him to realize he's not helping my son by doing this crap, especially with my sons disability.

First... you really need to stop the attitude... this is his father... be the bigger person even if he can't, particularly since you have him most of the time. He has a court ordered visitation. If you are in compliance... then you don't have anything to lose it he does take it to court. Just show the proof you are in absolute compliance.

Besides... that court order is a MINIMUM you have to hand the child over... BOTH of your incessant bickering is only going to hurt your child. Autism comes in many degrees, they aren't all equal... and even a severely handicapped child is fully aware when their parents are going at each other like cats and dogs.

Even if you don't do it openly in front of him... kids are smart enough to see through the words and into the emotions behind them. And autistic kids are every bit as sharp as other kids, they see what's going on, they only have trouble associating with other people around them.

First there should be a order for visitation. And to get a order of enforcement, he would have to go to court and prove you are not proving the child at the times of the court order.

He has every right to expect the child to be available at the specific dates and times on the order. He should hope to get the child extra time, but at least the time in the order.

If you are proving that, then there is nothing he can go to court for. If you are not proving the child when the order says, then yes, he should take you back to court

And it takes two people to argue, Perhaps you should arrange pick up at a "safe location" like a police station, fire house or other place like that.
Also perhaps arrange to have a neutral third party do the exchange.

When I used to exchange my kids, I never saw their mother, I went to the outside of the house, honked the horn, kids came out, I drove off.

I'm not sure where I was having attitude... and there's way more to autism than inability to associate with other people. Earlier this year his father accused me and my husband of having an inappropriate sexual relationship in front of my son. His therapist ruled that he'd been coached to say stuff by his father and uncle. We already meet at the police station and as far as arguing, no I don't. I have told him, if he is going to yell and scream I'm getting in my truck and leaving. Arguing is pointless and solves nothing.

Also in 2011 we had a guardian ad litem on our case who mentioned in the courtroom that his father needed a Psyche eval done.

Tppsy

Was that psych evaluation done?

Can you prove he throws the meds away?

Why hey are you looking for advice from strangers on the internet rather than from your lawyer?

Eval was never done. And no longer have a lawyer. I do have an appointment to talk to a new lawyer next week now. And yes my son has said countless times he couldn't take them because they were thrown away.

I assume you hand the meds over when your son has visitation. Are they given back to you at the end of visitation?

Yes and I counted pills for a long time. But when pills were coming up to be the correct amount missing but he's acting like he hadn't taken anything, I asked both son and his father, both said meds were tossed in trash.

OK, first, you probably need to get another GAL appointed. This business of not giving your son his meds needs to be dealt with.

It also sound like the father is more bluster than reality. You claim he is "hell bent" on filing enforcement. But have you seen anything? Are you in compliance with the court order and can you prove it? If so, why are you worried about it? Let him take you to court. Show your proof that you are complying with the order and ask the judge to dismiss and issue an order to stop him harassing you.