So here is the confusing situation. As long as I could remember I loved my best guy friend. Since I was like 12 the feelings just grew and became something real. We were always close. Then when I was in senior high we slept together a few times but never really became boyfriend/girlfriend. But this guy is not an ordinary guy. I don't know why I fell in love with him. He is a really big player and sleeps with all kinds of girls. But he means so much to me because we were friends since diapers. I always went to my best girl friend with my troubles with him. Endless nights crying on how yet again slept with him but he don't care about me. She always tell me he was so dumb and I deserve so much more. I have been best friends with this girl for 16 years. She is like a sister to me. Then I moved about 3 hours away and left my hometown.. away from my best guy friend and my best girl friend. My 2 friends missed me so much so they decided to just hang out together. I always told them if anything had to happen between them id die. Because she knew how much I loved him and he knew that she was my best friend.. confusing I know. Anyway, last night she confessed to me and told me that she slept with him 4 times. I thought that it would be a huge deal if they kissed. For one she was a virgin so this is a big step in her life. And secondly.. likee its so wrong. And I'm putting a lot of the blame on her because I know my best guy friend would try to get with her. That's just the way he is and always will be. But I never think she would do that to me. She swore to me she never kissed him nothing happened whatsoever. And now I don't know where to go from there. I don't want to mess up the 16 year friendship but she makes me so angry. Why did she have to sleep with the guy I loved my whole life.:confused:

You are completely right, that is a very confusing situation and one that a nice girl like you SHOULDN'T be in the middle of! If your right in saying that this guy is a player, then easy up on the girl that u've had a 16 year relationship with, cause that guy probably knows the right things to say to get a girl in bed. I have a brother who's the same, they're all very sneeky about sleeping with people. And I think you need to find out if they're sleeping together, or are they in a relationship, or... and here's the more realistic but hard one, is he promising her a relationship but really just in it for sex... again.. something my brother would do.
If they're in it just for sex then, I suggest (if you want to still be friends) getting her to make it up to you, and then complaining about it for a year :P (funnest option).
If they're in a relationship, one of two thing could happen 1. They could be the happiest couple ever and go get married, in which case you are stuck being happy for them, or 2. They will eventually break up and you can both hate him for ruining your lives etc...
And if he's deceiving her into having sex by getting her to think she's special to him, then you're going to be hating him anyway when she finds out.

Good luck, hope I helped!!

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Originally Posted by Heathey

soo here is the confusing situation. As long as I could remember I loved my best guy friend. Since I was like 12 the feelings just grew and became something real. We were always close. Then when I was in senior high we slept together a few times but never really became boyfriend/girlfriend. But this guy is not an ordinary guy. I dont know why i fell in love with him. He is a really big player and sleeps with all kinds of girls. But he means so much to me because we were friends since diapers. I always went to my best girl friend with my troubles with him. Endless nights crying on how yet again slept with him but he dont care about me. She always tell me he was so dumb and i deserve so much more. I have been best friends with this girl for 16 years. She is jus like a sister to me. Then I moved about 3 hours away and left my hometown..away from my best guy friend and my best girl friend. My 2 friends missed me so much so they decided to just hang out together. I always told them if anything had to happen between them id die. because she knew how much i loved him and he knew that she was my best friend..confusing i know. anyways, last night she confessed to me and told me that she slept with him 4 times. i thought that it would be a huge deal if they kissed. for one she was a virgin so this is a big step in her life. and secondly ..likee its soo wrong. and im putting a lot of the blame on her because I know my best guy friend would try to get with her. thats just the way he is and always will be. but i never think she would do that to me. she swore to me she never kissed him nothing happened whatsoever. and now i dont know where to go from there. i dont wanna mess up the 16 year friendship but she makes me so angry. why did she have to sleep with the guy i loved my whole life.:confused:

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It is time for you adapt. I admire your devotion to your friends, even though they don't deserve it. Your relationship with them is confusing you because you're being faithful to the memory of your friends.

Forgive the mistakes your friends have made. Remember the good times you have had together. Decide if your future with them will make you a better person.

Only you can continue to give them permission to your heart. Perhaps loving them from a distance for awhile will give them the time to make the necessary changes in their lives.

God Bless

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Heathey

soo here is the confusing situation. As long as I could remember I loved my best guy friend. Since I was like 12 the feelings just grew and became something real. We were always close. Then when I was in senior high we slept together a few times but never really became boyfriend/girlfriend. But this guy is not an ordinary guy. I dont know why i fell in love with him. He is a really big player and sleeps with all kinds of girls. But he means so much to me because we were friends since diapers. I always went to my best girl friend with my troubles with him. Endless nights crying on how yet again slept with him but he dont care about me. She always tell me he was so dumb and i deserve so much more. I have been best friends with this girl for 16 years. She is jus like a sister to me. Then I moved about 3 hours away and left my hometown..away from my best guy friend and my best girl friend. My 2 friends missed me so much so they decided to just hang out together. I always told them if anything had to happen between them id die. because she knew how much i loved him and he knew that she was my best friend..confusing i know. anyways, last night she confessed to me and told me that she slept with him 4 times. i thought that it would be a huge deal if they kissed. for one she was a virgin so this is a big step in her life. and secondly ..likee its soo wrong. and im putting a lot of the blame on her because I know my best guy friend would try to get with her. thats just the way he is and always will be. but i never think she would do that to me. she swore to me she never kissed him nothing happened whatsoever. and now i dont know where to go from there. i dont wanna mess up the 16 year friendship but she makes me so angry. why did she have to sleep with the guy i loved my whole life.:confused:

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The thing is: If you don't mind! What do you expect from this guy? Do not even think about doing your life with him. You know what will happen. Unless you like drama. As for your Girl friend, shame on her. But she is your friend why don't you forgive her everybody makes mistakes even if it is hard for you but it looks like this guy would sleep with everybody around you anyway and you knew it.
Sorry but the lady is a best thing you have compared to this guy regardless.

Okay the way I see it is all you were was a best friend. You might have strong feelings for him but you two never connected that way.

So this other friend that slept with him, why should you be mad at her. It is not like you were going out with the guy. Your girlfriend or guyfriend did nothing wrong.

Joe