There's this guy, we have been getting to know each other for 10 months now, and we have had our ups and downs. We have never date, and have never been on a date, but we both like each other... alot!
The probs arise though, as I cannot bring myself to be with him. I do like him I think about him all day everyday, I wait for his texts at night, and he is the first thought in the mornin.
I feel this way because of his history, I know of one girl he treated quite badly, but that was her fault, he also has a different way with people (cocky, but in a funny way, but people don't always realise he is jokin)
I think one of the biggest problems is that I am absolutely petrified of committing myself to anything, as I think wel what if this happens, or what if its alla cover and he just wants sex or something? I also hate the way I am I have no self esteem and I worry aboout looks, weight etc etc, as I also have bad stretch marks, even though I am by no means fat I feel I am
Does anyone have any suggestions? Another reason its all like this is because I told my mum hoiw I felt and she cannot understand why I would like him because of the stories she has heard about his cocky sense of humour, and he smokes which my mum totally disapproves of, but he has actually or is trying ot quit smoking which makes me feel well maybe he does really like me if he will give up smokin, and he shows all the signs of liking me, but I want to know how you tell if someone really does like you, and its not all about sex? Help help help

You can only get a better understanding of someone by spending time with them. It takes at least a year to get to know someone, and even there may still a ton of things that you don't know.

If this guy really likes you, he will tell you. If you really like him, you could hint it at him I guess. Sometimes in life you just need to take some risks, you might end up getting hurt badly, but there could always be a possibility of a great reward. You can't gain anything if you're too scared to take the risks.

My advice is either take some action or stop wondering if he likes you or not. Because no matter how hard you wonder you'll never really know what's going on in his head.

I have discovered your post, and cannot quite believe how two people can be is such the same position. Even down to timings! Its pretty freaky, but maybe we could help each other out?

I really would like to get with my lad, but like you I am petrified of commitment, but I know from the situation that if we went on a date we would end up getting into each other, and then there's commitment.

I often think to myself well I obviously don't like him if I don't want to commit myself, but its not that its my mind playing games, I know others judge him and I think that people will judge me, and I also very image conscious and my fella is thinner than me which doesn't help situations, I also have bad stretch marks and I fear him running a mile if he was to see me naked, but at the same time I really fear sexual relationships and that worries me that I am not normal for my age, and I'm scared if I committed myself he may force stuff upon me, but then if I never try I will never know.

Its on my mind 24/7. I think about him every second of the day, I wait for his texts, I'm happiest when I'm with him but then when it starts getting serious I freak out.

Can anyone help me please?

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Originally Posted by loverissues

theres this guy, we have been gettin to know each other for 10 months now, and we have had our ups and downs. we have never date, and have never been on a date, but we both like each other...alot!
the probs arise though, as i cannot bring myself to be with him. i do like him i think about him all day everyday, i wait for his texts at night, and he is the first thought in the mornin.
i feel this way because of his history, i know of one girl he treated quite badly, but that was her fault, he also has a different way with people (cocky, but in a funny way, but people dont always realise he is jokin)
i think one of the biggest problems is that i am absolutely petrified of commiting myself to anything, as i think wel what if this happens, or what if its alla cover and he just wants sex or something? i also hate the way i am i have no self esteem and i worry aboout looks, weight etc etc, as i also have bad stretch marks, even though i am by no means fat i feel i am
does anyone have any suggestions? another reason its all like this is because i told my mum hoiw i felt and she cannot understand why i would like him because of the stories she has heard about his cocky sense of humour, and he smokes which my mum totally disapproves of, but he has actually or is trying ot quit smoking which makes me feel well maybe he does really like me if he will give up smokin, and he shows all the signs of likin me, but i jus want to know how you tell if someone really does like you, and its not all about sex?! help help help

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Get to know him for yourself!-Best Wishes