I got dumped (this time). Four years, long distance, very volatile relationship. Without going into the details at this time, I want either validation or disapproval that trying to understand through the whirlwind of emotions what exactly happened Friday & Saturday as I was explained to why I was getting dumped. I feel that the analyzing is part of my healing process and it keeps me from making any contact with him. I have heard that almost 100% of what you are told during a "dump" are lies. On a healthy note, I have taken this opportunity to make changes for the better in my life, eating better, exercising, moisturizers, teeth whitening, etc. I am feeling better about myself but I still want to try and figure some of it out without asking him.

Believe it or not you'll do better letting the answers come to you rather than trying to figure it out. Usually when people try to analyze things they fill in the blanks with stuff they feel and not facts.

I wouldn't assume that almost 100% is lies, that is really situation dependent.

Trust me, over analyzing is not good, as I have wasted a lot of time doing it. Filling in all the blanks with insecurities and doubts will do nothing but drive you mad... Trust me, I know!

Don't fill in the blanks I got dumped (well she said a break) probably to let me down lightly after a 3 year relationship which was great and no arguments, she doesn't have anyone else just wants to be on her own. I tried to fill in the blanks for 5 weekks thinking maybe this bit maybe that, we were good together but I must say you can't fill them in I just went mad analysing every little thing. When if I think clearly the reason she doesn't want to be with me is she just doesn't like me as much as she used to or she would be with me. Don't fill the gaps in it will tear you apart and you will just keep beating yourself up like I have. This is the first week where I have told myself she lost a good guy and that's her fault. If she comes back I will be more happier with myself and that may help our relationship in the end. For weeks I was thinking I should have been doing more of my own stuff things like that but when you love someone you love to be near them but that over love can push them away. Let it go and really try to be happy on your own and hopefully you will be a better person and when your ex is ready they will see what they like. Thinking about it will not help I've thought for to long... good luck

Seems to me that we can all say don't think too much but I think that it's the thinking too much that makes you realise by yourself that thinking isn't helping.im doing the thinking at mo,and think its somethink that needs to be done to move on. Yeah it hurts like hell but its got to be done for you to draw your own conclusion.

If that makes sense