I am suffering from depression and I have my entire life. But it has gotten progressively worse over the years. As well as suffering from depression I have self esteem issues. I'm always feeling like I'm not good enough, like I'm a failure at everything that I try to do. Like all I do is run and destroy everything I touch. It really sucks. I really want help but I'm so scared to tell anyone around me how badly I'm suffering, I don't want to look weak to them and I don't want the people in my life to become weird when around me as that will make things so much worse for me. I have an amazing boyfriend I've been with for 8 years and he's always been my rock and has helped me keep my head up despite what my mind is telling me to do but he just informed me that he wants to leave in 2 months for the Marines for 4 years. He's not only my boyfriend but my best friend and my rock I'm so terrified on how things will be from this point on I'm so depressed and I really need help how do I go about getting put on anti depressants I feel like I'm downing and life is Un rivaling even more now. Please someone help me

I am amazed that you have suffered with depression all of your life, and it has become nearly unbearable from what you've said, in recent years, and you have never had professional help. Please correct me if I'm wrong about ever having seen a therapist, and if you have, were you actually diagnosed with depression and/or any other disorder for which you've received treatment.

It is time to get help. I get the impression that with your boyfriend heading off for four years, you sound like you're about to fall apart. He has been your rock as you said, and supported you, and kept your head above water.

Now you need help to take care of your business, on your own.

You need to be assessed by a Psychiatrist to have a footing on which to receive treatment. That may be prescription medication and therapy. Without a professional assessment, you have no clear direction on how to proceed to get better.

That part is called the beginning. Building a foundation of knowledge and active participation on your part, to build on that foundation, to become well.

There are no magic potions, or over the counter medications or guesses from anyone here, to improve your situation. You need professional help.

You would be absolutely amazed at how quickly you will feel better, once you get your foot in the door, and take charge of your own life.

Please get help- today, and post here again, when you have taken that initiative. Many will back you up- including me.

What Jake said! Yes, be sure to let us know how life improves.

A personal physician can guide/refer you to the help you need. Do you have a family doctor?