I'd like to think that I've changed a bit over this year grow up a little anyway! I know I still have along way to go obvious by the stupid mistake I've made. Me da has started trusting me lets me go out and see me boyfriend. It's really hard to write what I've done I feel so shamed of me self. I went out with me boyfriend to a party I had a few drinks and took ecstasy, it was a stupid thing to do I can't even say why I did it. I've had a problem with drugs before I don't think I'll do it again and I don't want to ruin the relationship with me da but I'm not sure what to do. I'm disappointed in me self and a little scared. Do I talk to me da and tell him? He will be very mad and everything will be ruined and I'm not going to do it again would it be better to just not tell him he won't find out confused

How do you know you won't do it again and really be messed up? You were not ready. Talk to your father let him know what you did. He needs to know what he's dealing with.

Think, how do you know he won't find out? You probably have no knowledge of how many pictures or videos of the party were taken and where they might end up. Better you tell him than he finds out from someone else. Not telling also gives other people who know your past issues blackmail material. Do not allow that to happen.

You messed up. Again. It isn't the first time. It won't be the last time especially if you rely solely on yourself to not mess up again. You need your father's help and support especially when it comes to telling your boyfriend that you aren't going to tempt yourself by going to more parties or other gathering where alcohol and drugs are being used.

Before telling your father, write down a plan to keep yourself from making this mistake again. Look at ways to keep yourself from drinking and using drugs again. The plan should include telling your boyfriend that you will not be attending parties where alcohol and drugs are being used. You cannot afford to take the chance you won't be tempted or feel pressured into joining in again. If he decides partying is more important than you, then you walk away. If he understands and agrees, then he is one of the good ones.

The guilty feeling will only get stronger until you tell your father. He may be mad. He may be disappointed. He may be understanding. You can't know for certain what his reaction will be until you talk. I do know you will keep hurting yourself and spiraling downwards into messing up again if you don't.

Since you've had a problem with drugs in the past, you could share with your father that you have concerns that you aren't over the desire or temptation for them and that you would like to discuss receiving some help either through counseling, rehab, or both.

As was said, you now know where your temptations lie. Was it to be cool, fit in, go along with your boyfriend, simply a desire for the result of using? It comes down to you making a decision to get help, no doubt you have told yourself before that you wouldn't do it again, and making certain that you avoid putting yourself in situations where you will have to make those choices when you aren't ready to.

Maybe you have changed and worked hard at it, but you obviously have not changed enough to not stumble and fall back on old behavior, with the same old results. People, places, and things. You will never manage your life falling into the same old traps over, and over.

Should you tell your dad? I think you tell someone that can actually help you first to stop the insane thinking and backsliding. Go to AA, get a sponsor, and tell your boyfriend parties are out, and museums are in.

Trying to do this YOUR way has never worked well enough to keep you on the right path very long. Take responsibility for your own problem by taking my simple suggestion. Then at least you can tell your dad something positive besides you have screwed up yet again.

Thanks for the advice, I'm still not to sure about telling me da about taking the ecstasy but ill ask him about going back to counselling at the center. At the time I didn't think it was such a bad thing it's only a e not really addictive, now I just feel so guilty and ashamed of me self. No more parties or drinking.

You don't need to be taking any drug unless it is prescribed by a doctor. Stay away from parties and alcohol, anything that may tempt you do something you know you're not supposed to do. Go back to counseling. You are not ready to be away from close supervision and guidance yet. Good luck

Not really addictive? You are very naïve. Any addict, which you are, will tell you that you have to refrain from all substances of all kinds for the rest of your life. Any substance can cause you to backslide. Even using just once, and I'm willing to bet this isn't the only time you've done this recently.

You our need to get back into counseling and you may want to add addiction counselin as well.

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Originally Posted by J_9

Not really addictive? You are very naïve. Any addict, which you are, will tell you that you have to refrain from all substances of all kinds for the rest of your life. Any substance can cause you to backslide. Even using just once, and I'm willing to bet this isn't the only time you've done this recently.

You our need to get back into counseling and you may want to add addiction counselin as well.

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It was the first time I've taken drugs since I told me da about me problem and got help I didn't plan taking it it was just given to me I just didn't think.I thought drinking would be all right guess it just makes me not think things through. This is hard

Nobody with an addiction problem is "OK" with drinking or popping whatever their drug of choice is, ever.. in any amount. Besides... I remember your older posts... you aren't anywhere near legal drinking age anyway... so it still wouldn't be "all right" without the issues you have. And with addiction problems... it won't ever be...its something you have to live with and deal with...dealing with them means forever avoiding ANY amount of them for any reason.

Part of what goes with decisions to not take drugs, is the knowledge of how to recognize triggers, behaviours, and feelings that can become overwhelming if you do not know how to handle yourself. It is called a relapse. It is not the end of the world, and it does not mean you erase all that you have accomplished in staying off drugs. It does not forever damn you to a life of drugs, disappointments, failures, and ruin your future.

You had a relapse, and that is very, very common to anyone who has had a problem with drugs.

The key here is that you have acknowledged as much, and the flip side of recognizing what happened as you have, is to get the help you need, through drug counseling, to better arm yourself with the knowledge you need, to ensure greater, and more long lasting success.

I don't know how old you are, or if you have had counseling, or even if you have a family doctor you can talk to about getting further help. If you can start with your Doctor for suggestions on where to go to seek help, that would be a very good start.

When you have proven to yourself that you are actively looking for help by booking counseling, then I would tell your dad the whole story. When he sees you are mature enough to recognize the mistake you made, AND you have found a way to get help on your own, I see no reason why he should not trust you do exactly what you have said you would do. You may wish to ask him if he can come with you, or read some information on the nature of addiction, and the meaning of relapse, and how to help you, to avoid another relapse. If he is informed, he is also your first line of defense when you find yourself in another situation like the one you were in. You can call him, he will understand, and he will help.

Best of luck to you.

Thanks for the advice tried to make an appointment to do councilling but cause I'm a minor I need me da to do it. I was kind of hoping I could avoid that. It was just a stupid decision and I know I won't do it again I'm not going to drink anymore or go to parties. If I tell me da that I took drugs I'm worried how he will react I've pushed him pretty far with me behaviour and things are all good now I don't want to lose that. I don't really deserve his trust I messed up again I could just lie a little and tell him I need to go back to councilling because I feel like I need to. Anyway ill figure it out thanks for the advice lots to think about now