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The house pump is controlled on discharge pressure by a grundfos controller.
Grundfos controller would be another name for a built in pressure switch.
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3) There is no pressure gauge.
Would be helpful if there was one but you already know that you have lost pressure.
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One line has a doohickey with a knob of some sort in it. I am guessing to regulate the flow.
Are you sure it's a dohickey? Could it be a thingamajig or maybe a whatchamacallit?
Show a picture.
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When running the pump is noisy
It is hard to quantify what you mean by noisy. Generally you should not hear anything on a Grundfos except the hum of the motor. And that should ot be very loud. How does the sound of the house pump compare to he sound of the irrigation pump?
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the inlet to both pumps has a stud in casing
By stud I assume you mean plug. Yes that would be to prime the pump.
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The Stud in the house pump has been wrapped in lots and lots of ptfe tape.
Suggest removing the tape and see why its there. If it is the source of an air leak, that would cause the pump to loose its prime.
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It is possible that the tank gets drained down
Running the irrigation pump when you have a pressure loss in the house would eliminate that possibility.
Post some pictures.
To post pictures,
Upload pictures to computer n JPEG format, reduce to reasonable size.
Make a post, click on "Go Advanced".
Click on "Manage Attachments".
Browse for picture and upload To AMHD.