What do I do if I can not do anything for 3 years and my ssi isn't mine when it reaches this house its hers. I don't even own my car when its in my name what do I do.

Explain how that happens. Does she think you are incompetent? Are you? Why do you allow it? What have you done about it? Who pays for the car? Does she work?

It is common in many cultures, for the man to give his money to the wife to manage and pay the bills. I live in China, husbands almost always merely hand wife entire pay and allow wife to manage resources.

Your car, if it is in you name, it is your car, how and who uses it, is your choice. If you allow, (and this is the real issue) if you allow others to tell you what to do, and you do it. The answer, just say NO.

You need to first lose the attitude, you are not a slave, you are merely a man who has not discussed or has avoided issues and allowed this to happen.
So if you need to sit down and your wife and see if there is any extra money for you to use or do you need to find a part time job, to earn more money to have? I work about 5 hours a week extra to have personal spending money because of a tight household budget.

What is the nature of your disability? And, what is 'her' relationship to you? How old are you?