Recently I have had a heartache that really hurts me to the core. Not to long ago my older sister got into trouble and was arrested for possession, not to mention that she was using Meth. After she was released my mother offered her to stay with her until she got better.
The thing that hurts me is that a year ago I was in a similar situation but I didn't get arrested but was using. Like my sister I too lost everything, I had to ask my aunt to care for three children until I got better.
At the time I was staying with my father, who was a user as well. I wanted to get out of my dads because I knew I wasn't going to get better if I stayed. I asked my mother for help, and she told me she couldn't help me. Didn't even offer her support. Ignored me and acted like she didn't know me. Thankfully I got better, got sober, got a job my place, and importantly I got my kids back. I've been sober for a year now and going strong. I even had communications with my mother.
But now with all this that happened, and now that my sister is staying with her, my mother doesn't want me to call her, go see her. Even after telling her that I wasn't going to bother my sister. She even went with my sister to a spa, when I'm always being rejected when I ask her if I can go spend time with her. She even called me and treated me like a lowlife when I finally had the courage to tell my family about my drug use. I got better I even work with people who have a problem with addiction. I can't seem to understand why she rejects me.

Just as you went through hell with your issues before, just imagine that your mom and sister are going through hell now, and you should back away for a while and not take their "rejection"personally. Accept they cannot help you with YOUR feelings, and you have to deal with them yourself and pray they get better and the relationships between you can improve, but obviously NOT NOW.

Don't make this about YOU, keep it about THEM, and what they are going through and do nothing to force yourself into their hell at this time. Be grateful YOU got through your hell, and pray they do too.

Good Luck.

My problem isn't her helping my sister nor meant to sound greedy and self centered. My problem is that why is she treating me the way she is now. It got worse ever since all this happened. But other members of my family do tell me, that I should be use to it. My mother left my sister and I when we were still babies. So in my opinion she doesn't know how to show affection.

So she hasn't changed much has she? Maybe that's what she was taught, or she has been going through her own hell longer than you know.

We are helpless to change others, or even understand them sometimes, even if we love them.

Maybe it is out of guilt, and not wanting to face her past, particularly with you and your sister as babies, that keeps her at arm's length with you. Maybe you are the one that, for her, triggers the behavior of pushing you away, instead of dealing with her shortcomings as a mother. Now, and then.

If any of that is true, she may not trust herself to be 'motherly' with you. Maybe it is easier for her to deal with your sister, and the feelings are not the same, or quite as strong, with her. Maybe she rejects you because you remind her too much of herself. Maybe she even feels threatened because she sees you as the one who would be more likely to challenge her behavior- even if you have no intention of doing that. Perhaps your sister is simply a person she finds easier to manage and help (in her own mind).

That being said, I have to disagree that this isn't about you. This is indeed about you. As you've described things, she has been a really rotten mother, and to me, it sounds like she has not taken responsibility for quite possibly contributing far less than she should have, as you were growing up. It is just more obvious now.

Ignoring you, and not offering any support, especially when you were living with your dad, also a user, is not acceptable for a mother of any age. Even enough honesty to say that she couldn't accept having you in her home, but she would help you any other way she could, would have been better than total rejection.

However, all that being said, no matter what her reasons are for rejecting you, and obviously favoring your sister far more, even though the circumstances are nearly identical, no two adult relationships are the same, regardless of what the connection is, be it mother/daughter, or daughter/daughter, etc. Your mother has a different relationship with your sister, than she does with you.

I feel badly for you that both your parents come up on the short end of good parenting, and neither were able or willing to help you through a very dark period of your life. But, despite that, you have survived, and you are going strong, and you have a bright future ahead of you. You are setting a very good example for your children, and dealing with overcoming all that put you into the addiction in the first place. THAT, takes courage, and you surely get three stars from me.

You may always have a more superficial relationship with your mother, and there is nothing you can do about it. Your path in life won't include her, nor can you have her in your life for support. Very sad, but that is the reality, and believe me when I say, you may never, ever have an answer as to why that is.

It may help you to journal, if you aren't already. When these blows hit, write them out in a quiet time when you won't be interrupted. Start, and finish the experience you need to get out. Then close the book. The 'event' is over, you have dealt with it, and you have much more important things to deal with than that which will never be yours- the love and support of your mother.

I truly wish you strength, and continued success.