My ex husband has not seen our kids in over 5 years and I never went for child support or received any money. My kids now want my maiden name because they don't even know ANYONE with their last name. I asked my ex husband (who is now in prison) for permission and he said no. Is there a way to go around him?

First, with any legal question, you need to include your location, as laws vary by area.

You have bigger concerns than a name here. How is it that child support was not ordered as a part of your divorce decree and why have you not pursued in five years? Is there a custody order? You can pursue a name change without his permission if you'd like but I see it as unlikely to be granted without the father's permission. If you do decide to do this, a judge will consider the well being of the children, and likely the term of the father's prison sentence (If he is in prison for life for instance, you are far more likely to get what you want than if he is gone for a couple of months)

What a name change will not do is affect a support obligation, or formalize custody of your children if it were ever to become an issue. It will not allow you to remove their father from birth certificates or legal documents. It will not allow a new spouse to adopt if that is in your future plans. What it WILL do is support the father in a parental alienation case if he ever gets himself together and tries to be a parent.

I have been in this situation, and I can tell you from that perspective that you need to really consider what you are trying to accomplish with a name change, and pursue court orders to help you do that instead of a cosmetic change.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Fallon Pate

My ex husband has not seen our kids in over 5 years and I never went for child support or received any money. My kids now want my maiden name because they don't even know ANYONE with their last name. I asked my ex husband (who is now in prison) for permission and he said no. Is there a way to go around him?

---

Why do they have to know 'anyone with their last name'. This is silliness. Your last name is unique. I don't know anyone personally with my last name.

We can't predict what a judge would do, but I would be surprised if a judge would look at the fact that their father is incarcerated as a good reason for a name change.

My suggestion is to approach a local attorney who is familiar with the local family court. They can best advise you of the probability of a court overriding the father's objections in this case.

Who's fault is that the father has not seen the children? Have you made any attempts to visit him? Has he asked for them to visit? If you refused visits, that could work against you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ScottGem

We can't predict what a judge would do, but I would be surprised if a judge would look at the fact that their father is incarcerated as a good reason for a name change.

My suggestion is to approach a local attorney who is familiar with the local family court. They can best advise you of the probability of a court overriding the father's objections in this case.

Who's fault is that the father has not seen the children? Have you made any attempts to visit him? Has he asked for them to visit? If you refused visits, that could work against you.

---

OP didn't indicate how long the father has been in prison, or how soon he will be out. But apparently he was not in prison when OP asked him for permission to get the name-change.

This is not really abandonment. He does not owe any child support, if you never went and got a child support order. But? At the divorce, what happened with Child custody, who has legal custody ? Does anyone? Why was there never any child support ordered ?

With that said, you will have to petition the court for them to change their names, your ex can protest and dispute. If he is going to be in prison long term, it is possible in some locations, but if not, then it is totally up to the judge

Quote:

---

I asked my ex husband (who is now in prison)

---

This could be taken either way as to when he was asked. So we just have to wait for the OP to clarify.

Quote:

---

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/images...quote_icon.png Originally Posted by Fallon Pate https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/images...post-right.png My ex husband has not seen our kids in over 5 years and I never went for child support or received any money. My kids now want my maiden name because they don't even know ANYONE with their last name. I asked my ex husband (who is now in prison) for permission and he said no. Is there a way to go around him?

---

Quote:

---

Why do they have to know 'anyone with their last name'. This is silliness. Your last name is unique. I don't know anyone personally with my last name.

---

I read it to mean that the children don't know anyone else in their family with the same name...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by aliseaodo

I read it to mean that the children don't know anyone else in their family with the same name...

---

Obviously. Either OP she didn't take his name when she married him, or her name was changed in a divorce.

And they also don't know any of his parents, siblings, cousins, etc. with that name.

But what's your point?

That's exactly what I meant. Tickle had mentioned that the OP's comment about the children not knowing anyone with the same name was silly, that she herself has an unusual name and doesn't know anyone with the same one. I was saying the OP probably meant the children don't know anyone in their immediate family with the same name, not that they don't know anyone in the world with the same name. I don't think that's silly at all. I would imagine it makes them feel a bit like outsiders. That was my point. I should have elaborated.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by aliseaodo

... That was my point. I should have elaborated.

---

No, you didn't need to. It has no legal (or practical) significance at all.

You asked me what my point was, and I told you. Thank you for letting me know that you find my response has no significance. Your opinion of the significance of my response to Tickles response is terribly significant to me.

It goes to the mother's motives. Contrived or not.