I've been dealing with depression (clinical or major) for some time now and just have a general question, perhaps others who have dealt with the same issue can answer it. How have your relationships been with other people? I don't just mean romantic relationships I mean any kind- friendships, work relationships, etc. Anything outside of familial relationships. I ask this because I don't have much support from my family and I want to build good relationships outside of the family, but I would like to know if others have had similar experiences to mine. Any feedback is welcome.

A long time ago in a far away place I had depression that ruled my life. It was caused by an environment that I was placed in from childhood. I had two tiny kids and a wife. One day I woke up and chose not to be that person any more.

Relationships regardless of what kind are exactly what you make of them. In my opinion you shouldn't let depression rule your relationships. If you want to be friends with someone or close to someone then choose that path. It's totally up to you.

I am a little confused. I can want to be friends with many people but if I am trying to talk to you and genuinely ask how you're doing and you're not responding that's not on me, that's on you. But I feel like most of the interactions I have with people are of this nature. People sense either that I am not friendly or they look at the emotionless look on my face and recoil back. In all honesty, I isolate myself from others most of the time but not always. There are days where I feel super chatty and want to talk to anyone. I do and have let my depression control my life in this aspect, it's something I need to personally work on. I don't think I will ever "wake up and get over it", I've had depression for a very long time. It has gotten better with therapy, etc. But I don't feel that it has gone away nor am I sure that it will. It has gotten only gotten better with time.

Control is in your hands, assuming it's not clinical depression and I'm not sure all diagnosis is correct on that point. I saw a video tape of a professional speaker once who said we are totally in control of the way we feel minute by minute. We are in control if we have a good day or not. He taught me to tell myself I was going to have a great day every day. It's a struggle at first but once you get used to it, wow does it work. Let's say someone is angry and cusses you out. Can you control that person? Nope. Can you control their reaction? Nope. What you do control is your reaction. If I have the choice of a great day or a bad day, I'm choosing great day every single day.

Thanks Oliver- this I understand. Didn't really answer my question but I like this response better than the first. Appreciate it.

It all depends on how serious your depression is, and how the treatment is going.

A person, I used to be, a long time ago. Was depressed, I did not want friends, and shut everyone out, Friendships failed because I had no interests in life, and seldom wanted to do anything.

So, you can not judge you, by others. My ex wife, had destroyed my will to live. If you can make friends, a good friend will (or may) understand or help you.

A wife or a romantic relationship is nothing more than a close friend (with sex) in the real aspect of life.

I have had depression most of my life. I grew up feeling unwanted and worthless. Other people get around that and find their own sense of self and worth.
I'm curious about your wish to have a lot of friends. I value the friends I have, no matter how small the number. I rarely reach out to new people to ask them how they are, and I don't like it when people I don't know very well ask me how I am. How would I answer that? 'How are you' to my mind is a meaningless opening question meant to be answered with 'Fine' and not much else. I prefer a more gentle way into a conversation, about the food or music or event or mutual friend or something happening in that moment.

I'm also wondering about this remark: 'if I am trying to talk to you and genuinely ask how you're doing and you're not responding that's not on me, that's on you.' I don't agree. It isn't on either of you. You are the one who engaged that person in talk, and their reasons for responding in a less than positive way are their own reasons, so you give up the attempt, and let it go. The fact that you want it to be 'on' someone says a lot. It almost sounds like what you have learned in therapy about not letting other people determine your sense of self and your mood is getting somewhere, but not totally, because you want to place 'blame' on someone. Most if not all of us struggle with some form of this, and I know I have. I still 'blame' my mother, and she died at age 89, 9 years ago! Then there are ex wives and ex husbands we want to blame... when we realize that we can't really blame anyone, we blame ourselves, and get depressed.