I have been married for 8 years. Married my high school sweetheart. Never dated someone before him nor during our time together. We have three beautiful little kids that I love to death but my husband is just annoying me.
He does not do anything at home. Is lazy in the sense of staying asleep until two o'clock like it is nothing then has breakfast for an hour before he goes to work at four o'clock to get home at ten.

We do nothing together. I am sitting at home the whole day without doing anything because we are renovating I do not even have a kitchen to cook.
We just moved to this house one year ago and I do not have friends close.
He has driven me crazy with his laziness. When we got married he was funny, caring and we would stay for hours on end on the phone. Now we sit next to each other with the laptops on our laps and have nothing to talk about. I try to talk to him but I am getting tired of being the one to start every time. I try to show understanding although I do not understand a lot of things he thinks are hard and are normal for me. Sex is almost nill. I loved to cuddle and kiss with him. When we weren't married we did a lot of things beside the deed itself. We both wanted to wait until marriage so we did. And although I always have tried to let him know what I like it is as if he forgets the next time around. And I am getting embarrassed of telling him always I do not like it like this or use my fantasy to feel something so he won't hurt me when we have sex. I sometimes want to divorce so bad but am scared that I am just thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. And what should I tell my parents?

He does not smoke, drink, hits me or cursed at me he never screamed at me is a great dad I just isn't in love with him no more. But my parents are really traditional, and I have three kids. Should I let them go trough this because I am selfish in wanting someone else?

I am desperate and tired of playing the happy couple every time. What should I do?
Give up or try longer I already am fighting for our marriage for three years.

Can this marriage be saved? I'm going to guess that it can, based on the little bit you write.
You would both benefit from couple counselling, but if he won't go, or you can't afford it, you can work on this yourselves. It is 'work!'
3 quick questions:
- When does he go to sleep? He can't possibly be sleeping from 12 to 2. He must be staying up til about 5 am? Online, TV, what?
- What's this about sex hurting?
- Have you asked him for a time when you can sit down together and talk about your marriage?

There's a study of married men I am fond of quoting that showed that the most important thing for them is their job, career, bringing home the bacon. If they hate their jobs, that can easily ruin everything else. Just wondering if his work ever is part of the conversation.

In addition, even a mother of 3 young kids can start to think about a way to get out of the house - a course, a part time job, a business of your own, a group of mothers you started. It's amazing how the things lacking in a marriage don't seem as important when you get out more.

And lastly, I can't tell if you are stuck in the romantic past instead of moving into the various changing phases of marriage, or if he is as withdrawn as you say, and has his own problems with the way marriage changes. Probably both?

He sleeps late. three oclock at night. When I tell that he needs to sleep earlier to get up early he tells me he can decide for himself if he is tired. I feel more like his mother then his wife. I feel like I have four kids then three. I am trying to be girly. More a wife then a mother but he is so iresponsable. I am the one who takes care of the bills and what come in and out of the house. And I am getting tired of it.
I asked him multiple times for him to take responsibility but nothing comes from his side.
I have worked full time and just stopped six months ago. Eaven when I was at work it was nothing at home I could laugh make jokes and cry with my colleagues but stopped evantually because if I have stayed working I would have done something really stupid that would make me break my vows during marriage and I ain't that kind of girl.
When I say hurting I mean I do not have pleasure in sex I do it to pleasure him, so he will not have to go look for it outside the house.
And I have talked about our relationshp numerous times and every time he begs me to forgive him to stay. Tells me I am the love of his live and he does not want to lose me. Thenit will all go fine for a week or eaven two. He will talk to me. We will go out. He will try to listen when I talk. Help me in the household. But just like it will go great and he will be the man that I fallen for it will all change and it will NEVER be longer than two weeks after me crying and threatening to leave.
And then the story starts again. And I am tired of it. I stay because he lets me see the man that I have fallen for and I reject him for becoming the hardheaded after two weeks.
It is like the cat playing with the mouse as if he gives me what i need and retract as if it is nothing.
I try not to be disrespectfull towards him.I try not to hurt him with mean words. eaven if I would mean them and I feel it. Because my parents have always learned me disrespect is the begin of the end. But I am so tired. And I start feeling it physicly.
He wants another baby now as if having children will solve the problem. Sometimes it feels that the world has turned upside down. When first it was a female trying to keep a man with a child he is trying to keep me with a baby because he knows for me they go above everything.
Ps he does not want to do counceling. Does not believe in it. He honestly started laughing when I tried to talk about it. Telling me if we can not fix this after knowing each other for more then half of our lifes a counceler will do s***.
I am 30 he is 32 and like said before we met when I was 14 and he was 16 and dated when I was 15

Dear Abby used to say in situations like this; you have to ask yourself are you better off with him or without him?

Are your kids all in school? Did you ever work? What have you done to make friends in the new neighborhood?

He will never be your high school sweetheart again, and to compare him to the pre-marriage days is unfair to both of you. You are expecting more from the past 'him', and that person has grown up. What you have, is a grown man, working shift work, supporting a wife, and three children.

Life is hard, marriage is hard, raising children is hard. Marriages do not last when one party (you) blames the other (him) for all that is wrong in your life, and it is all because of him that you feel the way you do, which is miserable, because he is giving you nothing that resembles the past.

Making demands that he cannot keep, and threatening him with leaving, as you have learned, only results in temporary fixes that last a week or two until things change to as they were before your threats. You stew and stew and then decide to leave, and there is nothing between the stewing, and the threat to go. It's like going from zero to 60 and ignoring all the stop signs along the way. All or nothing. It's all about you.

What would you be like in his eyes, if you stopped complaining, and threatening, and instead accepted that change takes BOTH parties. Instead of life revolving around only you, take a little inventory, and see what is good in the marriage, and work to make that part better.

He is a good father, brings home the bacon (enough for a kitchen reno- and you complain about that too), and he is employed. The more you complain about how miserable your life is now, compared to how your life was before you married him, will only push him away. You sound bitter and self centered to me.

You cannot go back in time. Accept that ALL marriages are very, very hard work. Hard times happen with unemployment, deaths in the family, illness, etc. Life will happen whether you like it or not. And love is different, and changing in that emotionally, physically, and psychologically you will be challenged, and he will be challenged, and it is impossible to meet your partner's needs and wants ALL the time. But, the core is the marriage, and the children are a priority, and changing your life to find 'greener grass on the other side' as you said, is immature, and unrealistic, and cowardly.

You are a good example of why half of all marriages fail. And the reason why so many children come from broken homes with all that entails. You want what you had, and that ship sailed a long time ago. It isn't all about you, there are five people in your family.

Instead of threatening to leave next time you get all tied up in yourself, get off your pitty pot, and go and see a counselor. Don't threaten him with consequences if he doesn't go as well. Find out why you are unable to keep your commitment, and why you are stuck in the past, blindly thinking that a new man will change everything for you and you'll get what you think you need and want. (lot's of 'you's' in there huh?). Figure out what is missing between your unrealistic expectations, and what you can do about it. One of those things may be him attending counseling, which is a better suggestion than threatening to leave all the time. Change will happen, but it has to start with you.

So quit your b****ing, and get a grip on what you need to do, to improve your marriage, in this, the year 2015, not the high school years, and not the pre marriage years.

Instead of b1tching about what you want and don't have, try being grateful for all you do have. Maybe counseling on your own, without him is what's needed to change your attitude and help you grow up, so you can make some mature rational adjustments to the realities of your life.

I find it really disgusting you would quit a job because you are afraid of cheating because you cannot control yourself. That's as selfish and immature as it gets. Sounds like an excuse to blame him for your own misery, and while you do nothing for yourself nor take responsibility for your own happiness.

Is it asking too much for you to build a life that you enjoy around what you have and not be so self centered over what you want? You sound like an impulsive, spoiled lazy brat (the same thing you accuse him of being) who expects this fellow to work hard and make a life while you enjoy the fruits of his labor. You don't sound like the high school sweetheart he married either.

Wake up, and grow up, as the honeymoon is over, and the work of building a life that you enjoy is at hand, so stop blaming him for the things you should be doing for YOURSELF. Sorry to be harsh, but you do seem to need a wake up call.

Let me state this. Before you are calling me a b**** and someone who is self centerd.
When he wanted to start something for himself I have had two jobs while he had gone and accomplished his dreams what failed by the way.
While I was pregnant with my children I was going to school. Worked part time and had the house clean and tidy while he at that time unemployed was sitting on the couch and telling me it is oke if the house is a little messy do not worry about it while sitting behind the laptop and I had to come home at six and had to cook while he had done nothing all day.
When my parents did not want this marriage for me I fought them to get married with him. And When he wanted a car I lived on spaghetti for six months to be able to afford this for him.
When he decided we should buy a house I told him that it would take time and renovtion to do so. Certainlly if he wanted to buy a fixxer upper. Sins we bought the house he literally done nothing to it besides tearing down a wall in the living room.
It is until I save a bit of money to get someone to do it for me.
Or our kids would still be living in a fixer upper house.
I work my but off every single day to run the household, work full time, taking care of three children with one who has a disability.
And Never ever have complained to him while I took care of the kid who he did not want to see as disabled.
because he could not handle it.
So for three years it was my job to take the kid to every single docter, medical center and then finally when age appropriate to a special needs school.
For him not eaven bother to see me as a woman any more but just someone who does every single thing for him wearies down a person.
I do not ask for much. I do not ask for diamonds or a new car. I do not want him to pull me down a f*****g star just sit the down with me and have a conversation instead of watching a movie on the laptop.
Put your arms around me when everything has become too much for me and I start crying instead of walking to another room because you can not handle the crying.
Jut to hear from him afterwards I tought you wanted to be alone.really!
Take me out ones a month or f****g buy me a one dollar Rose once every two months.
I feel like the nanny and cleaner in one.
Working my off ouside the house and inside the house. I have to put on something sexy, I have to clean and cook I have to put the kids in bed and get them from school while he does what else exactly besides working five hours a day every couple of months?
I have been with this man for 16 years have never had any other man besides him. Have loved him and stood by him.
And he knows this othewhise he would have left already eaven his best friends tell him this when they are sitting downstairs and do not think I can hear them. If he askes them if he is being selfish
Life is tough yeah tell me something new. You do not know of what I have been true with him or in my life.
So stop making stupid accusations just because I tell you he has became ing lazy in the last three years and thinks everything will get to him on a silver platter.
So if you do not have real advice, solid advice silence yourself please. Because if the world in my mind did just turned only around me I would have left ten years ago when my parents argued against my marriage with him.
So again if you have advice besides he will never be 16 again. Well hell i figured that one out when the sixpack disapeard and the belly became bigger.
But like I said before I ain't stupid I have matured to, changed to.
BUT I will still give him the time and love he needs what kind of marriage would it be if you ca not talk with your partner or feel loved. Him telling me that does no do a lot for me.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Instead of b1tching about what you want and don't have, try being grateful for all you do have. Maybe counseling on your own, without him is what's needed to change your attitude and help you grow up, so you can make some mature rational adjustments to the realities of your life.

I find it really disgusting you would quit a job because you are afraid of cheating because you cannot control yourself. That's as selfish and immature as it gets. Sounds like an excuse to blame him for your own misery, and while you do nothing for yourself nor take responsibility for your own happiness.

Is it asking too much for you to build a life that you enjoy around what you have and not be so self centered over what you want? You sound like an impulsive, spoiled lazy brat (the same thing you accuse him of being) who expects this fellow to work hard and make a life while you enjoy the fruits of his labor. You don't sound like the high school sweetheart he married either.

Wake up, and grow up, as the honeymoon is over, and the work of building a life that you enjoy is at hand, so stop blaming him for the things you should be doing for YOURSELF. Sorry to be harsh, but you do seem to need a wake up call.

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I have worked all my live. While he was unemployed I was the one working and bringing the food on the table. Me quiting my job was not sellely because I was finding myself attracted to someone els but I have allso thee kids and worked until 10 oclock at night in shifts and my babysitter quit when I moved and could not find someone els.
It would be better for me staying at home than having a babysitter because it cost me half of my salary every month.
So this was a desicion made by us two together.

Now instead of just reading what you want to read. Do not read between the lines and look at my other post.
I quit my job but am still a freelancer from my home or I would go mad sitting the whole day at home while he sleeps upstairs.
And i try every day to make myself happy. but call me naief but i tought a marriage consisted out of two people loving one another and supporting eachother if it always have to come from me. if i am the one who should support him in everything and he in nothing. if i am the one who's job it is to make my familly happy what i am doing for the last 16 years. is it so hard to wrap your head around the fact that i want that to?
That i want that devoting side of him that i want to feel loved?
And not just feel as a maid in my own house?
You think i likemaking the desicions you do not think i feel embaresd for asking my husband to give me some time. if he was working all day oke. but if he is sitting next to you behind the laptop doing nothing. come on that is just heartbreaking.

Sorry for striking such a nerve Jessica, but give us a break, as you left out all those details in your original post, that are so important and just well... B!TCHED about HIM without context. For example, that he is disabled, and hardly works. So the reaction you got from the picture you painted is

You still should recognize the part you played in allowing things to get where they are, as it's puzzling how a disabled, lazy guy makes such decisions about finances with no money? Or you expecting him to be something he is obviously NOT. I mean what were you thinking when you went along with his cokamamy schemes to hide his disability (Which you never mentioned at all, or even the nature of it), and going along with this move to a new(?) house that you are now overwhelmed with.

So please explain how your thinking could have been as flawed as his was, and you find yourself in this unhappy dilemma. You both must share the blame, and work out a reasonable solution, and that starts with YOU being the responsible one of the house and making better decisions than going along with his program.

Because he is disabled doesn't mean he cannot support you in the household chores if you are working, since he cannot, or live within your means. There is obviously a role reversal here you both are handle badly, and that has to be resolved.

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He does not smoke, drink, hits me or cursed at me he never screamed at me is a great dad I just isn't in love with him no more. But my parents are really traditional, and I have three kids.

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So he isn't all bad, nor are you all good, and you both have 3 kids together, not just you, and really do need to put your heads together and resolved the crap you both have created. It's not about YOUR needs and frustrations or HIS, but how you resolve it together.

Maybe seeing this as rock bottom and no where to go but up is what you have to accept and work for. If you cannot, then let him sit in his own crap, while you build a happy life for you and your kids, without his input.

Going forward, more facts, and not just hurt feelings, would paint a more accurate picture, and yield better suggestions.

I have been brough up verry traditionelly. With the moto how you threat your husband and how people view him reflex on you.
Well we wanted a house maybe naief I tought he is older now more mature maybe now he will understand the full responsibility.
I am tired of having to do that by myself but I do love him and seeing him coming from a broken house with no selfestime and finding himself threw the years made me happy but having him stop and not growing further in the last years while I have moved on and became a grown up just hurts.
I do not want to put blame on him or me nobody is perfect I just want a solution and if there is not just want to know is there something better out there or am I just going to change one man for the same man after a couple of years does the grass really is greener or just looks like it.
Before I do break up my marriage just to find myself after sixteen years in a same one.
And having let it go that far aint really dificult if you are with a person when you were still a child.
I do not know if you remember how you were when you were 15 but we tend to worship our first boyfriends/grilfriends and do anything for them just to see them happy.

Firstly... take a really deep breath... Seriously. I haven't dealt with exactly what you are dealing with but most of us know what it's like to be up to HERE in frustration due to an unhealthy marriage...

It is CLEAR... you are angry, irrational, not really focusing on what you 1) want to convey 2) what you need to hear 3) need to address and 4) need to do.

There's too MUCH going on right now and this needs to be minimized to some degree (emotionally and in your head) first. You already said he won't consider counseling. You said this problem has been going on forever. Your parents didn't want you two together in the beginning but are they supportive of you as their daughter? Will they give you SOUND advice now or just bicker and frustrate you even more? If so, forget them. You can't go to them... You don't have friends around. So, I'm suggesting... you start WITH YOU...

This is NOT an attack. Sometimes, we were in the thick of things, we need to step outside of the situation for a few days/ weeks and not even bicker about what's occurring... so that we can figure out some bottom line issues and then determine what our plan of action may be. I'm not sure how old your kids are. You say you have three, one who is disabled. Obviously, that's a hand full but I'm hoping/guessing at least 1 or 2 are in school part of the day?

If so, TAKE SOME TIME for you. You may not think you can but you can. I'm a single mom of twins working out of a home. My schedule isn't like yours but I am also doing it 98% alone. Is your situation so dire that you would rather be alone? Seriously... think about that and let that marinade for a while. Don't answer yet.

Back to the YOU time... If you like to run, go for a run/walk during a certain time in the morning/evening. If you must take one of the kids with you, so be it. If you love baths, set aside 20 minutes EVERY DAY with your tablet/phone/whatever and music and a glass of wine, scoop of ice cream and the door closed for 20 minutes a day. I usually do this around 10pm when the girls are sleeping heavy. If you like laying out in the sun with a glass of cold ice tea, do that and get some fresh air for 20 minutes. Do whatever YOUR THING is for a week... no complaints, no bickering with him... Just do YOUR PART... raising the kids, taking care of the home and LEARN TO Pick THE BATTLES DURING THIS TIME... Nothing has changed in years and likely nothing will change during the 1-2 weeks while you are focusing on YOU TIME.

In a week or two's time... figure out what the real questions/issues are. Can they be mitigated? What can you do differently? What do you want differently from him? Realistically. You both need alone time and together time but right now you need to figure YOU out.

Come back in a week or two and then see if your perspective about YOURSELF has changed and what the bottom line issues and points are and take it from there.

Good luck.

I see you didn't address my point about being better off. But that is really the bottom line here.

You made a big mistake by marrying someone when you had no experience with anyone else. I suspect he is suffering from a similar feeling. But in his case, he doesn't want to go back on the market. But know you have to live with the consequences of your mistake. You need to decide whether you can support yourself without him (and I wouldn't count much on child support) and also how your children will feel about it.

Until you make that decision, you are still going to feel trapped and unhappy.

You are overwhelmed and it's hard to find solutions from your frustrations under those conditions. Yes stepping back is needed, a break from him, at least for a weekend. Maybe letting the grandparent see the kids for a day or two while you relax and do something good for yourself.

It helps no one that you are isolated and alone at this time, so I don't blame you at all for your rant/vent posts. That's perfectly understandable as well as looking for greener pasture, having nothing else to compare true happiness with. Bet you dad is a solid dependable type, and betting you are NOT American as are those that are responding to you.

So where are you in this big old world as your command of English is excellent if different. Right now you do need a friend and a HUG!!

>HUGE CYBER HUG<

Your real solution is how to put a boot in your husbands arse to kick start a wake up call and have him follow a much more realistic plan of action and put his ego aside. That's the solution when traditional roles (man/breadwinner-woman homemaker) are reversed as yours have been.

Your problem has been overindulging in his program that has been a disaster, so direct that anger and frustration at the true cause of your dilemma, and have a better plan. Once you realize his plan is not realistic, logical, or sustainable, you can get the approach that reflects a better path forward, whether he likes it, or NOT.

Give it thought, and stand firm in your conviction to right this rocky ship. Now figure out how to take that 3 day break that you badly NEED!!!

Married 40 years and trust me that such breaks are needed from each other every now and then just to clear your head, and let the emotional dust settle.

1- Be sure you don't get pregnant. Pill or patch.
2- Go back to work. That bit about you'd do something stupid is a terrible excuse. He can go to bed at midnight and get up at 8 and take care of the kids til he goes to work.
3- Save tiny bits of money regularly. A woman should have her own money.
4- Don't order him to go to bed early, as though he's one of the kids (even if he acts like it). If you want a husband, you have to never EVER order him around. Use your brains and make it a decisions you make together, for the sake of more income, and so on. He needs to feel like a man. Which happened first, he gave up man status or you turned him into a child? What about you? Did you turn into his mother, and did he help that? Both are very common!

IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO. He's lazy and boring and you do all the work, but it took two of you to get there. Look at yourself as you work this out. Let him have his complaints too.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You are overwhelmed and it's hard to find solutions from your frustrations under those conditions. Yes stepping back is needed, a break from him, at least for a weekend. Maybe letting the grandparent see the kids for a day or two while you relax and do something good for yourself.

It helps no one that you are isolated and alone at this time, so I don't blame you at all for your rant/vent posts. That's perfectly understandable as well as looking for greener pasture, having nothing else to compare true happiness with. Bet you dad is a solid dependable type, and betting you are NOT American as are those that are responding to you.

So where are you in this big old world as your command of English is excellent if different. Right now you do need a friend and a HUG!!

>HUGE CYBER HUG<

Your real solution is how to put a boot in your husbands arse to kick start a wake up call and have him follow a much more realistic plan of action and put his ego aside. That's the solution when traditional roles (man/breadwinner-woman homemaker) are reversed as yours have been.

Your problem has been overindulging in his program that has been a disaster, so direct that anger and frustration at the true cause of your dilemma, and have a better plan. Once you realize his plan is not realistic, logical, or sustainable, you can get the approach that reflects a better path forward, whether he likes it, or NOT.

Give it thought, and stand firm in your conviction to right this rocky ship. Now figure out how to take that 3 day break that you badly NEED!!!

Married 40 years and trust me that such breaks are needed from each other every now and then just to clear your head, and let the emotional dust settle.

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I am from Europe, and yes I have been brought up differenty. My father was and is the bread winner. And we as his children have never needed anything we were/ are a middle class family.
I go with his plans mostly because for most of the time our roles are reversed and I do not want him to feel less a man if I take over every decision because I mostly make the money.
And to be honest I am tired of taking all the decisions.certainly if I have a husband next to me.
That maybe does not sound verry feminist and I am a strong woman but I just need someone to lean on to and to take the driversseat sometimes to let me breath. I feel I need to do eveything and in return I get nothing.
Because i could handle everything if he would just show some morelove and support.
Certainly now we moved.
In answer to spicywings my parents are oke with the marriage. They like my husband. they did not like his family and told me they will eventually be the one coming between us.
Well they tried but he chose for me and has not have the best contact to them sins then.
That is why i say we are all he has.
That is why I could not go to my parents for help because they would say one of two things.
divorce him or my dad would want to have a man to man talk with him and all do he frustrates me to deathat this point and sometimes want to take my bags and just leave everything behind and leave.
Letting him get a talk would my dad would not be the smartest thing because he would curse him out for what he does and until now they think we are perfectly happy so they would curse me out to for keeping the problems silence for so long.
My kids are 2/4 and 6 years old. I tried giving time for myself but it is hard to do with three kids, the household and a job and because he works when I get home or for now finished work I have the kids the whole evening and after they sleep I clean the house, get thing ready for the next day before my husband comes home.
But I can not relax to be honest being in the house and seeing everything still isn't finished makes me every time more angry. I know not healthy.
Maybe I should go on vacation if I knew he could handle all three kids alonei probably would have called my friends or sissters and gone to Paris for a weekend. Maybe I should do this and divide the kids between my sister in law and my parents.
To scottgem: child support seems to bea bigger issue in america then in europe we do not get a lot from our spousels eaven if he is a millionair. I can take care of my children and myself fine without him but to be honest am afraid to make that step. What if I do and everything I think I will find when we both moved on is not that what I think it is.
I called and old friend of mine he told me it is better of to maybe just ask him to rent a apartment for a couple of months somewhere els and if he wants me he should curt me like he did years ago and I could see for myself if the feelings could come back.
But I have seen friends taking a break not like what he suggests and it is like a free card to do what you want. And not one off them came back together.
Or maybe this is the smartest move. That if we trully isn't fitting anymore the first step would have already been taking. Yes I am rembelling, confused irritated and heartbroken by the thought of given up the person I imagined to spend my live with because he isn't just my husband but my best friend the one who have been true everything with me from family drama to given birth to our kids.
Maybe I am really just a b**** and should settle for what we have.

Not settle, wrong word, try dealing with what you have for what he is, and don't compare him to your dad. You ARE the breadwinner, and MUST step up, as he must LEARN to LISTEN, and check his male EGO. Maybe you both don't grow at the same pace, and that's okay if one of you has a bit more patience while the other catches up.

You are not a beetch, just a driven female trying to emulate the only healthy relationship you know, that of your parents. LOL, few of us can envision our parents as they were young, and frustrated with each other, in THEIR 30's. It took them a lifetime to be "perfect". Expect the same timetable for you and your mate.

As you see trying to compensate for his failures, and shortcomings is a frustrating endeavor. You need a girlfriend to rant and vent to, and that is so obvious. Just as obvious that you have tried feeding his ego and the success was extremely limited.

So quit doing it. And stop expecting him to do the housework to your expectations MOM!! CHILL OUT!

You need a break, as was mentioned... some time with friends or family. Then let him know that you'd like to talk when you return. If he is sleeping as much as you say, then spending the majority of his home time on the laptop, it needs to stop. There is no question that the technology can be addictive. When it impedes a great deal on your family time, it is a major red flag. That is not a marriage. So he works... big deal, so do you! Working does not make it okay for him to ignore his other responsibilities.

Look into counseling for yourself... you may learn of some ways to better approach him with your needs, which in reality likely are not much more than to feel appreciated, receive a little attention now and then, some conversation, and occasional help around the house.

Try to get involved with other mothers of young chilfren. Having kids can make it easier to build friendships. It will help tremendously to have a couple of friends to satisfy some of the need for fun and conversation. It might help you feel less stressed when you aren't getting as much of that from your husband.

ultimately he needs to realize that in order for the relationship to flourish, it needs to be tended to from time to time. You need to find other means... counseling, time with family, friends, joining a group for young mothers, etc, to fulfill some of your needs.