Ask Me Help Desk - I want him back.is this a possibility?

I starting dating my boyfriend last June and in 3 weeks he put a ring on my finger. Within 6 weeks we were living together. Everything was great and he was the man of my dreams but I had one problem... I am an addict. I tried to stay clean but every month and a half or two months I went on binges and was gone for 2 to 3 days. The first 3 times it happened he was angry but agreed that I needed help and he would be there for me to help me accomplish this. But I did it again, the 4th time, and that was it. I understand that I caused this and I have to accept the consequences. He basically said that he didn't feel the same and brought home boxes... so that was his way of saying "you have to move". We slept in separate bedrooms for 2 weeks and I finally found my own place and have moved. He has help me with so much... giving me things for my apartment, buying me things but I am confused. I also during the 2 weeks found text messages to another woman. This was crushing and I found myself so depressed. My question is... does he still love me and maybe the reason he is being so standoffish is because he wants me to get better and stand on my own two feet, then maybe we could start over? Or is this his way of making hiself feel better about "throwing me out"? I still love him and if I could take all this back, I would... but I can't. I am thinking once I show him that I can stay clean for a good period and take responsibility in standing on my own two feet, maybe I can rekindle the relationship. Please tell me what you think... should I keep trying or move on?

The truth is that this shouldn't be about him but about yourself... Consider this a wakeup call. Do you see that addiction has cost you something valuable, something you may never get back? What you lost with this man was his trust. He trusted you to be the sort of person who would treat him with respect. All you were concerned with was yourself - the ultimate fact of addiction. You can be better than this and accept that other people care about you and that you don't need this drug (whatever it may be) to be happy. You can do it. I have confidence in you. But you must do it for yourself and not for him. If you can be successful, he may come back or he may not. That shouldn't matter because, at that point, you'll have your life a gain. And won't that be wonderful?

I totally agree with the last response. Your receovery is about you wanting to get better and doing it for yourself not him or anyone else. Be strong and get through this. I feel for you because I lost someone special and regret it. I thought of me and not him and I cannot get that back but I can learn for the next time and that is what you should be thinking of, when you meet the next great guy, be well in yourself. Best of luck with everything.

Quote:

Originally Posted by travisam1995

I starting dating my boyfriend last June and in 3 weeks he put a ring on my finger. Within 6 weeks we were living together. Everything was great and he was the man of my dreams but i had one problem...i am an addict. I tried to stay clean but every month and a half or two months i went on binges and was gone for 2 to 3 days. The first 3 times it happened he was angry but agreed that i needed help and he would be there for me to help me accomplish this. But i did it again, the 4th time, and that was it. I understand that i caused this and i have to accept the consequences. He basically said that he didn't feel the same and brought home boxes....so that was his way of saying "you have to move". We slept in separate bedrooms for 2 weeks and i finally found my own place and have moved. He has help me with so much....giving me things for my apartment, buying me things but i am confused. I also during the 2 weeks found text messages to another woman. This was crushing and i found myself so depressed. My question is....does he still love me and maybe the reason he is being so standoffish is because he wants me to get better and stand on my own two feet, then maybe we could start over? Or is this his way of making hiself feel better about "throwing me out"? I still love him and if i could take all this back, i would....but i can't. I am thinking once i show him that i can stay clean for a good period of time and take responsibility in standing on my own two feet, maybe i can rekindle the relationship. Please tell me what you think....should i keep trying or move on?

Get clean and see what happens. My ex fiancé is addicted to coke and clearly loves that more than me.yet pretty much the same thing happened,meet him June 2005 and was living with him by aug,had ring on my finger by jan.get clean, if you love him its got to be worth it.