Our 32 yr old daughter has been married and divorce will be final next month has a 3yr old daughter. She has gone off to live with a boyfriend and left the baby with us for about 8 months sometimes going weeks without calling and even longer without seeing her. She moved back in the end of Jan. She had changed and wanted to raise her daughter. Thursday night she left again to go 3 hours away to visit a new boyfriend for two weeks. She was going to take the baby this time but we refused because of the situation she was going into. She met the guy on line and has only met him 1 time in person. Do we have any legal rights to keep the baby from her and how hard would it be to gain guardianship of her when it is pretty obvious she is an after thought with her mother.

I think you have a moral right to protect your grandchild, but she has a legal right as an adult mother to do as she pleases whether you like it or not, and a LEGAL right to call a cop if you deny her that right.

Getting custody, and legal guardianship is quite a process though, unless you get child protective services involved, but you better give that course of action some serious thought before you even do it. You may be too emotionally close to this at this time.

Big difference between what you think is obvious neglect, and her taking her baby on her "vacations" with her. Poor behavior is often subjective in the eyes of the law.

You have no legal rights to stop her from taking her child. In fact she could bring the police to your house and force you to give the child. You could even face legal issues for doing this, if she pushed the issues with the state.

You can go to court and attempt to get custody or guardianship of the child. But in stopping her from taking the child, and if trying court action, you risk pushing daughter away for life and perhaps not seeing the baby again.

And I will agree, what is "obvious" to you, will not be so obvious to the courts. She will show she knew her weakness and you helped, she will show she changed and that you were "kidnapping" her child from her. She will be dressed nice in court, and she will perhaps even cry that you have keep her child from her.

You "refused" to let her take her own child?
Time to learn how to see your daughter as an adult, even if she makes bad choices. Remember - you raised her. That means giving gradual responsibility, starting at a young age, so that by the time they leave home they understand what it is to be an adult.
Hopefully you can sit down together and negotiate calmly. The only ultimatum you should give her is that she can't have it both ways, taking her child, leaving her child. This new man probably won't work out either, but don't tell her that. Work out a maximum and minimum and some other ground rules, on paper, talking calmly over the dinner table. If you don't both work on this, you both lose.

I have to ask that in all of this mix what is going on with the father of the child? Maybe he should have custody at this time.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

You "refused" to let her take her own child?
Time to learn how to see your daughter as an adult, even if she makes bad choices. Remember - you raised her. That means giving gradual responsibility, starting at a young age, so that by the time they leave home they understand what it is to be an adult.
Hopefully you can sit down together and negotiate calmly. The only ultimatum you should give her is that she can't have it both ways, taking her child, leaving her child. This new man probably won't work out either, but don't tell her that. Work out a maximum and minimum and some other ground rules, on paper, talking calmly over the dinner table. If you don't both work on this, you both lose.

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All good, except OP actually has no bargaining power from which to negotiate. If OP's daughter wants, legally she can take the child. So OP should first seek court appointment as guardian. Then entertain requests to enter into negotiation with the daughter.

I think the daughter is manipulating the grandparents anyway.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I think the daughter is manipulating the grandparents anyway.

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Gee, you think so? [/irony]

AK lawyer, I do think the GPs have one bargaining chip - daughter assumes she can drop off her child any time she wants and for as long as she wants.
GPs need to call her bluff, but do it with finesse, so that she doesn't just say 'fine' and stomp out.