I am 17 year old girl (in grade 12) and the sports team I am on has a party at the end of the season. Problem is its a drinking party (drinking legal age where I live is 19) and my parents don't drink and don't really want me drinking. The party is small only around 20 people (only those on my team and a few out of town kids who train with my team invited) and my parents know most of the kids (I have known all those invited for several years).

They trust me and my teammates to be safe (my sports team is very close like a second family so none of us would ever date each other) and will most likely let me go but will expect me to drive home after the party which will not work because I am planning on drinking a little bit (like a few sips to one drink) so it would not be safe to drive home.

I don't know how to convince them to let me sleepover afterwards though because the party is at a guys house, my parents know both his parents so that might help but since his Mom is a teacher only his Dad will be home (his Mom knows about the party), but most of the people there will be guys (like 12 guys and 8 girls). Also I feel it would be safe to sleepover as the guy hosting it is very responsible, all of the people invited are in high school, we are all like family to each other (friend zone level 90000: 2nd family), and I trust them , plus his Dad will be there.

How do I convince them to let me go to the party and sleep over after it?

Yes everything you said sounds like everyone is responsible. So you would like advice from us on how to convince your parents to not do the responsible thing at a place where who knows how many laws and counts against each law will be broken. I hope those hosting parents understand that if just one minor incident occurs they could be facing multiple counts of underage drinking and other charges. Stupid in today's world.

Full disclosure - When I was a senior my high school won the state championship in baseball. My best friends parents hosted a party much like you are describing. But those were different times.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by helpme48

I am 17 year old girl (in grade 12) and the sports team I am on has a party at the end of the season.Problem is its a drinking party(drinking legal age where I live is 19) and my parents don't drink and don't really want me drinking. The party is small only around 20 people(only those on my team and a few out of town kids who train with my team invited ) and my parents know must of the kids (I have known all those invited for several years). they trust me and my teammates to be safe( my sports team is very close like a second family so none of us would ever date each other) and will most likely let me go but will expect me to drive home after the party which will not work because I am planning on drinking a little bit (like a few sips to one drink)so it would not be safe to drive home. I don't know how to convince them to let me sleepover afterwards though because the party is at a guys house , my parents know both his parents so that might help but since his Mom is a teacher only his Dad will be home (his Mom knows about the party),but most of the people there will be guys (like 12 guys and 8 girls).Also I feel it would be safe to sleepover as the guy hosting it is very responsible , all of the people invited are in high school , we are all like family to each other (friend zone level 90000: 2nd family), and I trust them , plus his Dad will be there. How do I convince them to let me go to the party and sleep over after it ?

---

This will come off as a bit harsh because it isn't what you want to hear, but I hope you stop and think about your plans.

I am sorry but since you admit to planning to break the law, I have to side with your parents. We cannot give you information or advice that would knowingly lead to you breaking the law. If you cannot abide by your parents' rules or the law, then you should not be going.

Are you the only person under the legal drinking age? If not, then the person hosting the party and his father isn't a responsible person if they allow or 'ignore' underage drinking.

Right now you think you will stop at a couple of sips. The problem is that at the party and caught up in the moment, you will end up drinking more than you planned. I have seen it happen.

Frankly, you sound a bit naive if you think that nothing will happen if a group of teens gets together and alcohol is involved. You may think of he guys as 'family' but that doesn't mean much when people start drinking. "Familial" feelings can fly out the door along with inhibitions.

Stay home if you can't be responsible and not drink.

No way! I don't trust most adults who drink, so forget trusting KIDS.

The mother is a teacher and is going to allow underage drinking? She doesn't value her profession that much now does she?

This party could land the parents in jail and the mother without a job.

Now, should we discuss what goes through the mind of a hormonal male teen when intoxicated?

Why the need to drink? Is there some reason that you won't be able to have a great time celebrating the season without having a drink?

Simply go to the party, have fun spending time with your friends, don't drink, and then you can drive home. It really is that simple.

The party is dumb and frankly not worth it. A party lasts a few hours. But being caught drinking under age could lose you your drivers license until you are 21. You could be raped or end up chosing to do things you normally would not do. You will end up drinking and driving to avoid getting in trouble. You could wrap your car around a tree, or kill someone. For a party. And then think about this - this dad is going to buy booze and chaperone a drinking party for kids with his wife out of the house. He could be a perverted creep - he certainly has no boundaries. How about asking your parents if they will take you out for an alternative celebration like a family dinner.

You really should do as your parents have instructed you, and be grateful they have allowed you to attend this party at all.

I doubt there is anything you can say that will make them change their minds.

Yes, the parents who are planning this party, and allowing under age drinking, should go to jail. What they plan is criminal. And the mom, who is a teacher could well lose her job. (and I would think it would be proper to fire her for allowing this)

Also why is mom not home, she would not be teaching in the middle of the night?

Also of course it is not safe to sleep over, it would be safe, to NOT DRINK, and drive home. If you had to drink, it is not a proper party anyway

Alcohol, teenagers and sleepovers are not a good mix. Your parents don't want you to go because they know you will drink (you even admitted that) and they know you will not stop at a sip. It is very irresponsible for adults to host a party and allow under age drinking. I would not let you go either

I agree with everyone... put a group of ADULTS together with drinking and bad things are likely to happen. Put a bunch of KIDS together with drinking and bad things are CERTAIN to happen.

Been there... saw it with my own eyes far too many times... and I'll bet your parents have as well.

Your parents seem to trust YOU to do the right thing, so why don't you trust them to give YOU the right guidance?

If it were possible, I'd pat your parents on the back and say, "Good job." They are being responsible, and making choices for you, for very good, and obvious, reasons.

It is never okay to party with booze, at your age. It is even worse, that the parents are hosting an underage drinking party, no matter how you make it sound.

I am sure other parents of your group feel the same way as your parents- as they should.

Who had the bright idea of having alcohol at the party in the first place? And why would they do that with fellow 17 year olds? You might give that a little ponder as well.

I faced a similar situation when my son was your age. He was staying over at a friends house, a woman I knew, on the weekends, a little too frequently. I finally found out that the mother of his friend was buying a case of beer for them.

So, I put a stop to it immediately.

I do give you credit for being honest with your parents about it though.

There will be time enough for drinking at parties, when you are of legal age.

12 answers all pretty much in agreement. Slap me silly but me thinks she was hoping for some other results...

:)

When I was about your age, I went to a party against my better judgment. It was a sleepover for just a few girls but I knew the parents weren't going to be home and I knew the girl hosting it wasn't always the most honest person. Well, my parents let me go (they thought the parents would be home of course - first sign it's a bad idea is having to lie to your parents about what's actually going on) and my dad dropped me off with my sleeping bag and pillow and pajamas and toothbrush for this silly party between a few girls. Well, I arrived to find her brother manning his father's bar in the basement, making strong mixed drinks and her sister was doing lines of coke off the glass table with her boyfriend. They had invited half the town to a party. By the end of the night, the house was nearly ruined - someone broke a toilet bowl on the second floor and nobody knew how to turn the water off. They broke an Italian marble coffee table, someone ripped the screen door right out of the frame. People got drunk and just started trashing the place. There were several arrests. I had to call my dad to come and get me and was lucky he did because some of the guys were way out of hand too, and I was afraid of being raped. It's an extreme example, but that was my real experience. My "friend" who invited me was grounded with her siblings for the rest of the school year. There was so much damage to that house, their parents made them all get jobs and turn over every penny to repair the house. They couldn't go anywhere but school and work, and couldn't have anyone over. All three of them ended up with major problems later on - the son ended up in jail for killing someone in a DUI. Both daughters got pregnant before they graduated. There's something to just doing the right thing every time you are presented with a choice, even if it means you miss out on some fun. You will be much happier in the meantime, and will spare yourself the wrong kind of friends, too.

So the party is over...
The parents were not there at beginning but both of them were there at 12pm and helped out (the puking person refusing to drink water ) and were both around in the morning cleaning and helping make breakfast ,my parents let me go and sleepover at the hosts house,I did drink more then I thought (I had one drink then sips of around 5 different peoples drinks),I was right to trust my friends because when I would not stop pacing one of the girls stopped me and sat me down then one of the guys helped me downstairs to the mat and found me a sleeping bag then left to sleep in the living room upstairs.So I was safe and the people who drank too much were taken care of the host was cleaning up puke with help from others and me and some of the girls helped clean up a bit before going to bed. Some people did get there faces drawn on with marker but everyone was looked after.the guy who passed out in the yard was brought inside to the couch to sleep and given a blanket.

The next day one of the girls had brought pancake mix and bacon and cooked us breakfast ( with help from the hosts Mom and the host) then we all sat around talking then the out of town kids left around 10am and the hosts Mom said the rest of us had to leave by 10;30am unless we had to wait for a ride because she was having people over for dinner and wanted to clean the whole house(with help from her 2 sons) so I drove home... and the Mom still has her job... you guys were acting like it was drunk grad ( which I have no plans to go to... my grad class parties hard... drunk grad seems scary... not going) instead of a small sports team party where the parents were there and I could trust everyone.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by helpme48

(the puking person refusing to drink water )
I did drink more then I thought (I had one drink then sips of around 5 different peoples drinks)
I would not stop pacing
the people who drank too much
the host was cleaning up puke
Some people did get there faces drawn on with marker

---

Sounds like the perfect party.... Sorry I missed it. (I won't bother to tell you how to have fun without liquor around. You can, you know.)

Guess I forgot to tell the fun parts of the party; like the host started playing piano and we had sing a longs ,we sat around talking about our season , we danced, we wrestled ( we are a wrestling team and the host has mats

The mom and so called host was very lucky nothing happened. It is a very irresponsible adults who allows underage drinking at her home, then is not there to supervise.
The mom lucked out, however had a I been a parent of one of those kids, she would have had to answer to me.

I completely agree with Wondergirl and Homegirl. First relying on alcohol to have fun is a crappie way of entering adulthood. Maybe you didn't drink much but others did. Second I wish someone would have called the police and informed them. I know I would have and I have in the past. Sometimes waking up irresponsible parents is just what is needed to save lives down the road.