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-   -   My boyfriends parents hate me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=809810)

  • Mar 27, 2015, 04:06 PM
    shayshay0608014
    My boyfriends parents hate me?
    What do I do when my boyfriends parents hate me? Im 14 and he's 16, and his parents think that's a huge age difference, my parents think its okay. I used to see him every Saturday and then his parents shortened it to every other week and now I'm lucky if I get to see him once a month. We used to talk on the phone for an hour before his phone broke and his dad would say that's way too much time and now when I call the house they are rude and hostile and only give us 5 minutes (they actually time us!) It really sucks that I cant see him because I love him. His sister is only 15 and his parents let her date a 19 year old and it was fine, and they knew they were having sex. With us, we get a lecture if we even makeout because according to them my boyfriend will go to jail? Why wouldn't their daughter and the 19 year old? How can I get them to like me and trust me? Bottom line is they think I'm "too young" for him and don't like me? :/ help. p.s. sorry if I rambled
  • Mar 27, 2015, 06:23 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    If you want them to trust you, you agree with them, follow their instructions, do not make out, and do not argue with them.

    Be glad to see the boy, even once or twice a month, and enjoy what you can.
  • Mar 27, 2015, 06:32 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Follow their rules. It's that simple.
  • Mar 27, 2015, 06:40 PM
    Alty
    In the case of the 15 year old sister and the 19 year old, he'd go to jail, not her. In the case of you and their son, he'd go to jail.

    Fact is, they are his parents, and as long as he lives under their roof, he has to obey their rules. What you want doesn't matter, nor does what he wants.

    Be happy that they allow you to see him and talk to him at all. They could very well forbid him to have anything more to do with you.
  • Mar 27, 2015, 07:13 PM
    talaniman
    His parents don't have to be fair, or like you, but they make the rules for their house, and you have no choice but to respect those rules, and abide by them, because they can cut you out completely. Tough break but it's their call.
  • Mar 27, 2015, 07:34 PM
    ScottGem
    How long have you been seeing him? At 14 you can hardly know what love really is. I'm sure you have strong feelings for him, but I doubt if it is true love.

    How do you know they knew their 15 yr old daughter was having sex with a 19 yr old. If that is true I'm surprised he is not in jail.
  • Mar 27, 2015, 09:13 PM
    Oliver2011
    Regardless of what is going on with the 19 & 15 year old, parents have the responsibility of raising their child the way they see fit. Their house means their rules and unfortunately you don't get a vote. The more you don't follow their rules the more those rules will become more strict. At 14 you should concentrate more on school. And honestly I had 2 sons and at 16 they would not have been dating a 14 year old.
  • Mar 28, 2015, 07:03 AM
    joypulv
    Like in a court of law, we can't just accept what you say about his sister - that's hearsay. No proof it's true.

    From the way you write, you sound even more immature than most 14 year olds because you sound so entitled, including the idea that love is the only reason needed for expecting to get your own way. You shouldn't be calling his house; he should call yours. If the parents are rude and hostile, is there a chance that you are first? Is there a chance that age is only part of this? Did you ever get to know them and to show them how respectful and willing to listen you can be?

    Bottom line, of course, as said above, you are a minor child, and you don't get to make the rules. Life never stops being unfair, BTW. So get used to it, even when you leave home.
  • Mar 28, 2015, 10:24 AM
    Jake2008
    His parents sound a lot smarter than yours.
  • Mar 28, 2015, 11:31 AM
    DoulaLC
    Follow their rules, be respectful in how you speak to them, don't encourage your boyfriend to go against their wishes....in fact, encourage him to follow their wishes.....that is all that you can do. If those things are not possible for you to do, then you are not ready to be in a relationship.

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