I have a 5 year old little girl, and 3 year old boy/girl twins. My son ( who is the oldest of the twins) is with his two sisters and I all day, everyday. He has started not listening to me, and yelling at me. Talking back to me. Throwing these little tantrums. Throwing things. Some might think its just an attention thing. I thought that at first to. And it might very well be, but the thing about it that is really startting to bother me is that, my husband does the same things. My husband doesn't understandy why they don't listen to me. I tell him that its because he talks to me the way he talks to the kids, so he's putting me on the same level as them. I DO NOT want my son growing up thinking this is how you treat women. And my daughters to think its OK to be treated this way. It doesn't seem to have affect on my daughters the way it is on my son. How can a save my son from this. He gives me a hard time everyday, and its driving me nuts. What are the chances that that's where he is getting it from, and how do I stop it. I don't want him to do this to girls when he grows up. Me, his sisters, anyone. PLEASE HELP!

I think you've hit the nail on the head. He HAS learnt this behaviour from somewhere. Children aren't born able to do these things so he has picked them up from a source. It may well be your husband, TV, watching others.
Has he maybe picked up from you how you are responding to him & his father?
You need to do something to address this or his behaviour will escalate. Has he ever seen your partner being aggressive?

You should try speaking with your husband about your concerns. If you can't, is there someone who can? A friend, family member, teacher or priest?

You should start to deal with your son too. It will be difficult to impose discipline on him and rules but he needs to learn what is acceptable & what is not. Bullying (which this is) is not acceptable in any form or under any circumstances! Punishment & reward (however you see this for your family) is a good way to start.
Is there a church group, Dr or someone who can give you some tips? Many Dr's clinics, pharmacies or libraries have leaflets & info you can get.
If you don't do something then there is the chance his behaviour may start to focus on his sisters or that they may start to copy him.

Don't delay as the longer you leave it, the more difficult it will become. His behaviour will get worse before it gets better. Be prepared for this. Be firm. Be consistent. If he sees you give in, he wins and will push harder next time!

Most important, GET HELP! You don't have to do this alone even if your husband can't or won't help you.

I wish you well

Moomin

Studies have shown that the same sex parent seems to influence that child more. So, you probably will see more of yourself in your girls and more of your husband in your son.
If you want your son to be more respectful of you and women in general - you need your husband to help set that example.

Take a stand and show who is the parent and the child tell him or punish him if he does talk back or what ever you don't like to show him some some little respect and the dad tell he better start acting up or tell him you guys need to go to family councling that should work OK

See its time you take control
Just once try to show your anger and what you feal about your reputation

Don't make your son you and your husband argueeing cause he might copy it:)
:)
Make your son realise that you are his mom

If you can't get through to your husband, why not put your son in playschool with other children for a few mornings a week. Or, a daycare with other children where he will have to learn to get along, share, respect other people and their belongings, and tow the line, otherwise he'll be in the timeout chair.

Sometimes you just have to work around the fact that our spouses will not understand or grasp the importance of shared parenting ideas. Your husband has probably lived his life this way, and likely he will not change.

Work around him.

Three years old is not to old to undo bad behaviours, nor is it too young to learn consequences. Most importantly, it will reinforce what you are doing, and give you a break a few hours a week.

Sometimes you just have to go in the back door, get creative, and solve some of these problems without the assistance or help of your husband.