I am a socially active lady with several lady friends to go to events with. One in particular though has the habit of calling me ON THE SAME DAY she wants to go to lunch with no previous notice. Usually, I cannot do this as I plan my week in advance. I told her about this once and she just said "she was a spur of the moment person". How can I correct this without losing her friendship. I do not want her to feel I do not want to go because that is not the issue. Thanks for any replies.

As a "spur of the moment" person, she needs to be told each time that you already have plans for the day. Some morning that suits you with an open lunchtime, give her a call and invite her to lunch. I wonder if she will be free.

Because you have already explained that you have to plan your week ahead, you shouldn't have to say anything at all now.

If she calls, and she probably will, to ask you out for lunch with no warning, simply tell her you can't, but, can she go next Wednesday.

That way she'll take the hint, and you won't lose a friendship. I'd say that is a reasonable compromise.

She will not change, so why do you not ask her out, a few days in advance for lunch. Or if you are free one day, go when she calls.

It can also be a culture thing, In three years of living in China, 90 percent of every dinner or lunch plan that was done early, fails, people here do not plan ahead a lot but do things spur of the moment, I wish to go to lunch with a friend today, I will wait till about 10 am to call them, because here, that is the correct thing to do.

It is customary to say "Oh I'm sorry, I have plans for today, but would you like to go next Tuesday?"

Since this should be so easy, I'm wondering if you find something impolite or offensive about spur of the moment requests, as though you are second or third choice. If there is any truth to that, I hope you can understand that there is no reason at all to feel that way.
I am almost totally a spur of the moment person! I dread plans in advance, because I only like to go out when I really want to, and that changes from day to day.