I'm almost fifteen and I am very desperate for a woman to hold on to. (by that, I mean like motherly/daughterly love) I cannot look up to my mom. I can't. I can barely speak to her. Maybe it's cruel to say, but I don't want a relationship with her and I don't want her to be the one I look up to. Every time I find someone who I think could be it, they are taken away from me. That, or they weren't a good choice. Now, I have someone, who I love like a mom, and know is a good choice. She has helped me so much. I'm terrified I will lose her; terrified I will lose contact with her. If I lose her, I can't really see myself happy. What should I do?

Please help. I'm kind of miserable:(

I am sorry to say that there is nothing you really can do. Loss is part of life sadly.
May I ask why you can not lookup to or communicate with your mom? -- Savage

Yes, but you might not lose her. Being afraid of what might happen is a fear that knows no cure.

Tell this woman what she means in your life and your concern that perhaps you will loose her support as has happened to you in the past. If the role is more than she can manage, she will let you know which would be hard, but would be better than worrying needlessly. Chances are that she will be flattered and heartened that you see her as so important and will make a special effort to be available to you.