I hate what I think! I don't want you guys to think I do it for attention because I don't! But I can't help but have moments when I think I'm being selfish for asking for help! Or wasting time! I hate me! And right now I can't help but I feel I shouldn't be here! Why do I keep having these moments?? Hmm sorry!

You are not a waste of space nor being selfish. That means a total of nothing to you when reading it on the screen. It is what you expect us to say and, regardless of the accuracy or truthfulness of the statement, you're not going to believe it because you've already chosen to believe something else.

The salient fact is that you are asking for help. This shows that you've identified that you have problems and issues that you believe need fixing or acceptance. Most of the people who would be identified as selfish and a waste of space are content in their condition and don't want help. This is where you're different. You're trying to be better. The reason that you're having these moments is because you're seeing the amount of person work and mental retraining that "fixing" you is going to require and it is daunting and a little scary. I want to believe, from my own travels, that this is your brains way of saying, "Hey you're fine the way you are, you don't need to change." I have had faults that I eventually thought warranted professional intervention. I got a list of things to do and when I got them it was scary and seemed like a lot of hard work. I had decided though, at that point, that I know the issues where there and that I needed to address them. When I started to address them it was quick and easy. I beat my demons into submission and feel that I am a better person for it.

So hang into there kitten. It does get better.

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

You are not a waste of space nor being selfish. That means a total of nothing to you when reading it on the screen. It is what you expect us to say and, regardless of the accuracy or truthfulness of the statement, you're not going to believe it because you've already chosen to believe something else.

The salient fact is that you are asking for help. This shows that you've identified that you have problems and issues that you believe need fixing or acceptance. Most of the people who would be identified as selfish and a waste of space are content in their condition and don't want help. This is where you're different. You're trying to be better. The reason that you're having these moments is because you're seeing the amount of person work and mental retraining that "fixing" you is going to require and it is daunting and a little scary. I want to believe, from my own travels, that this is your brains way of saying, "Hey you're fine the way you are, you don't need to change." I have had faults that I eventually thought warranted professional intervention. I got a list of things to do and when I got them it was scary and seemed like a lot of hard work. I had decided though, at that point, that I know the issues where there and that I needed to address them. When I started to address them it was quick and easy. I beat my demons into submission and feel that I am a better person for it.

So hang into there kitten. It does get better.

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Thank you! Great advice.